{"id":398,"date":"2009-12-26T21:44:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-26T21:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=398"},"modified":"2024-02-27T21:55:16","modified_gmt":"2009-12-26T21:44:00","slug":"merry-christmas-and-a-nigerian-terrorist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/merry-christmas-and-a-nigerian-terrorist.html","title":{"rendered":"Merry Christmas… And A Nigerian Terrorist???"},"content":{"rendered":"
All day yesterday, I felt guilty: I didn’t come on my blog to say Merry Christmas to you wonderful folks.  For Christmas, I had planned on cooking some pasta and calling it a day.  But Aribaba (of <\/b>) happened.  And that was how I ended up cooking another pot of efo soup.  He came with his friend, AK, and well, I hope I fed them well— although I was unable to provide the fourteen virgins – seven for each – he wanted to serve the food.  I should have taken a picture of the pounded-yam that I ordered them to completely demolish before going home.  Better luck next time.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
After they left, the day was pretty much normal, just passing by — until I heard the breaking news: a terror attempt on U.S. airliner, Delta\/Northwest by a Nigerian.  Nigerian?!  Terrorist?!  As in, the suicide kind?  As in, he was going to die in the process?  As in, he was a Nigerian attempted suicide-bomber?  Oh, but this doesn’t fit the Nigerian’s M.O.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
    \n
  1. A typical Nigerian, even an extremist Muslim one, will not lay his\/her life down for any cause.  <\/li>\n
  2. If a Nigerian would lay his life for a cause, it would be for the cause of money, and that happens when he\/she sells his\/her soul to the devil for wealth, agreeing to die in a specified number of years.<\/li>\n
  3. The only terror Nigerians are good at – and I use the word, good<\/i>, sparingly – is 419.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    <\/div>\n
    \n
    I have to say, I never really thought I would see the day that Nigeria<\/i> and terrorism<\/i> would be mentioned in the same sentence — seriously. Up until yesterday, the only time I had heard Nigeria<\/i> and terrorism<\/i> mentioned in the same sentence was when jokes were made about why Nigerians cannot be terrorists. (Please see number 1, 2, and 3 above).<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    Twenty-three year old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab has done us strong thing<\/i>. I am tempted to start singing, na who born the maga?!<\/i><\/b>  Apart from Nigeria, it seems like every other nation generally sees Nigerians as aggressive, arrogant, fraudulent, sons of you-know-what.  Now, they must begin to see us as aggressive, arrogant, fraudulent, terrorist<\/i> sons of you-know-what.  Great.  That’s just the way to rebrand Nigeria.  Oh, what will Dr. Dora Akunyili say?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    I wish, hope, and pray deeply that Abdulmutallab turns out not to be a Nigerian.  I hope he’s just an extremist who sneaked into Nigeria and managed to get our passport.  Still, Nigeria has been implicated.  He did board the plane from Lagos, Nigeria.  Speaking of Lagos, CNN ought to learn how to pronounce the word.  It’s not Lo-gos<\/b><\/i>, and it’s not Lah-gos<\/i><\/b>.  It’s Lay-gos<\/i><\/b>, darn it!  They can pronounce Shanghai and Beijing.  Lay-gos shouldn’t be that difficult.  Seriously.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    So, it’s all over the news that Nigeria’s airport security sucks.  Maybe this will get the Nigerian government to beef up security?  Okay, fine, you’re right.  Who the heck am I kidding?  The thought of flying between States in Nigeria is scary enough; you have to constantly think of the well-being of the aircraft.  Now, we also have to worry about what lunatic they might have let slip by.  Great.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    Thankfully, I have a solution: I’m flying in with a private jet!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    All day yesterday, I felt guilty: I didn’t come on my blog to say Merry Christmas to you wonderful folks.  For Christmas, I had planned on cooking some pasta and calling it a day.  But Aribaba (of ) happened.  And that was how I ended up cooking another pot of efo soup.  He came withRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[63,208],"class_list":["post-398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-christmas","tag-nigeria","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMerry Christmas... 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