{"id":390,"date":"2009-11-30T18:15:00","date_gmt":"2009-11-30T18:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=390"},"modified":"2009-11-30T18:15:00","modified_gmt":"2009-11-30T18:15:00","slug":"you-got-what-for-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html","title":{"rendered":"You Got What For Christmas???"},"content":{"rendered":"
When I was 14 (in Nigeria), my dad went to the store and bought me a Christmas dress – as was the tradition for Christmas and Easter. Big mistake for this particular year. Mom should have gone with him – as she usually did. He came back with a peach and ivory poufy dress. Not only was the dress a mama-tie-me-for-back dress, but it was also a Mary-Amaka dress. In other words, it had a very long belt that had to be tied at the back, and it (the dress) was also very long. Did I mention I was 14 — and in JSS3 (9th grade)???<\/div>\n
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My father is the reason why I am now very adamant about letting a man shop for me. He is also the reason why I am now also very adamant about eating a man’s food. Memories of my father’s burnt-tomato stew and ball-filled pap (akamu) still linger in my mind. Until they fully dissipate, I’ll shop for myself, and when eating any food cooked by a man, I’ll have Pepto Bismal handy. I feel obligated to mention that Mr. Shoes, however, is a fantabulous cook. If I don’t mention it, he’ll start whining<\/del> grumbling.<\/div>\n
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My mother did not like the dress, but she said I had to wear it because dad had bought it already. That Christmas was just — just — I don’t even know the word. The entire time we were in church, my head was bowed down in shame; I didn’t want anyone to see me in that<\/i> dress. Needless to say, that was a futile aim. It was Christmas for Pete’s sake. Even the witches went to church on Christmas Day, so of course, everyone got to see me in the dress. That was the first and last time I ever wore that dress. It was so poufy that at least one child could hide under me and not be found.<\/div>\n
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When I think of horrible-gift stories, the humorous story that usually comes to mind is the episode of Cosby where someone – can’t remember who – gave Bill Cosby a soap-on-a-rope as a gift. Seriously?!?! Christmas is upon us, so when you’re giving someone a gift, think about its usefulness. If you’re going to spend money buying a gift, don’t you want the gift to be used?<\/div>\n
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On Saturday, December 5th 2009, I’ll be talking about Christmas and gifts<\/span><\/a><\/b> on the radio<\/span><\/a><\/b>. Be rest assured you’ll enjoy the show. But more than that, on Thursday or Friday, I’ll update my blog and introduce you to some kind and generous vendors who are willing to give you discounts on their products – just for being Verastic readers\/listeners. Thank you!!! Watch this space. As usual, there’s a poll for next week’s show. It’s on the top of the right sidebar.<\/div>\n
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So tell me, what horrible, totally useless gift(s) have you received?<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was 14 (in Nigeria), my dad went to the store and bought me a Christmas dress – as was the tradition for Christmas and Easter. Big mistake for this particular year. Mom should have gone with him – as she usually did. He came back with a peach and ivory poufy dress. NotRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[63,6,143,180],"class_list":["post-390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-christmas","tag-funny","tag-gifts","tag-radio","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nYou Got What For Christmas??? - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html\",\"name\":\"You Got What For Christmas??? - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-11-30T18:15:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/you-got-what-for-christmas.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"You Got What For Christmas???\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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