{"id":376,"date":"2009-10-26T06:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-10-26T06:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=376"},"modified":"2009-10-26T06:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-10-26T06:12:00","slug":"my-honeymoon-and-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html","title":{"rendered":"My Honeymoon And I"},"content":{"rendered":"
So the post about my 17-day fun<\/span><\/a><\/b> ignited a question: Did Mr. Shoes and I get married and go on our honeymoon?<\/i><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Uhm… no!!!!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Frankly, I am hurt, shocked, and disappointed that you would even think that. What kind of honeymoon lasts for 17 days? Not mine!! I have decided that my honeymoon will last for one year and will include 12 to 15 countries. That’s my plan for now. I just might increase it to 18 months. That way, by the time hubby and I are coming back from the honeymoon, we’ll also have Junior (or Juniors) in tote. How convenient! The idea of not knowing where, when, or how Junior (or Juniors) will be conceived totally excites me. The idea of not knowing where Junior (or Juniors) will be given birth to is also very exciting. I keep saying Juniors<\/b><\/i> because I intend on having a set of confusingly identical twin boys, remember?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
A 17-day honeymoon just wouldn’t be enough to accomplish all that I plan on accomplishing – although I currently do not know what it is that I plan on accomplishing. Not to worry, I have time to come up with a list. **Hint, hint**<\/b> All vacation resorts are welcome to send me free<\/span><\/b> one week trial packages. Did anyone say Sandals<\/span><\/a><\/b>? <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
A honeymoon is a vacation, and while on a vacation, you are not supposed to be working. Instead, you are supposed to be relaxing. And while you are on a honeymoon, you and your spouse are supposed to what — have all the uninterrupted sex you can have before facing reality where bills, mortgage, work, the postman, and friends like Funmie can “break” your “flow” … I think I just totally broke my own flow with the image of the uninterrupted sex + Funmie. Tsk. Tsk. Something about that line just didn’t flow too well with me. I’ll start over in the next paragraph.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So considering that while you are on a honeymoon, you are your spouse are supposed to have all the uninterrupted sex you can afford before life truly begins …. nah …. this line still does not work. I think it’s because I just keep writing about uninterrupted sex<\/i><\/b> for no reason. What I should really be writing is >>> Considering that I want my honeymoon to last for twelve to eighteen months, I have the following questions [Aha! This line works a lot better. Where did all that sex talk come from?]:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
    \n
  1. While we’re honeymooning, will I update Verastically Livin? Or will it lay fallow for 12 to 18 months?<\/li>\n
  2. What will happen to Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio<\/span><\/a><\/b>?<\/li>\n
  3. Who will pay our bills at home?<\/li>\n
  4. Will we even have a home to return to after the honeymoon?<\/li>\n
  5. While on the honeymoon, will I be able to get my boiled yam + egg stew fix?<\/li>\n
  6. Will I be able to get my cheerios fix?<\/li>\n
  7. What about lactose-free milk? I wouldn’t want to fart hubby to oblivion. Oh, wait — I would want to actually fart him to oblivion. Issue number 7 is henceforth a non issue.<\/li>\n
  8. How many new pairs of shoes will I be able to acquire while on the honeymoon?<\/li>\n
  9. Will I even have the money to acquire new pairs of shoes?<\/li>\n
  10. At what point will the 12 – 18 month honeymoon stop feeling like a honeymoon and start feeling more like real life? After the first two weeks?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    <\/div>\n
    I guess I’ll answer these questions when the time comes. For now, I’ll like to clarify that I am not engaged to Mr. Shoes or any other man – although I used to fantasize about being engaged to Chidi Boyle, a fictional character from my yet-to-be-written story. This is probably not a bad time to write about him. Until then, I’m currently accepting CASH donations for my honeymoon. Thank you.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    So the post about my 17-day fun ignited a question: Did Mr. Shoes and I get married and go on our honeymoon? Uhm… no!!!! Frankly, I am hurt, shocked, and disappointed that you would even think that. What kind of honeymoon lasts for 17 days? Not mine!! I have decided that my honeymoon will lastRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6,221],"class_list":["post-376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","tag-honeymoon","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMy Honeymoon And I - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html\",\"name\":\"My Honeymoon And I - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-10-26T06:12:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/my-honeymoon-and-i.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"My Honeymoon And I\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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