{"id":3625,"date":"2012-07-28T10:09:06","date_gmt":"2012-07-28T14:09:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=3625"},"modified":"2012-10-04T00:02:37","modified_gmt":"2012-10-04T04:02:37","slug":"are-we-still-talking-about-toilet-roll","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/are-we-still-talking-about-toilet-roll.html","title":{"rendered":"Are We Still Talking About Toilet Roll?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Am I seeing double? Or are all the words on this ad still referring to a mere <em>toilet roll<\/em>?\u00a0(Not <em>toilet tissue<\/em>. Or <em>bath tissue<\/em>.)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/photo-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3626\" title=\"photo 1\" src=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/photo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"632\" height=\"720\" srcset=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/photo-1.jpg 632w, https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/photo-1-263x300.jpg 263w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 632px) 100vw, 632px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>&#8220;Now closer to u like never before &#8230;&#8221;<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0Does it still wipe assholes? If so, it&#8217;s still just as close.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s soft &#8230; It&#8217;s big &#8230; and it&#8217;s white&#8230;&#8221;<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0&#8230; instead of being hard, small, and brown? (My description likens a penis, but I&#8217;m really still trying to decipher the opposite of this soft, big, white tissue. Come to think of it, even the &#8220;soft, big, white&#8221; description sounds like a penis, too. Albeit\u00a0Caucasian.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>&#8220;Wouldn&#8217;t you rather wipe with it? &#8230;&#8221;<\/strong><\/em> As opposed to what exactly?<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t understand this ad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am I seeing double? Or are all the words on this ad still referring to a mere toilet roll?\u00a0(Not toilet tissue. Or bath tissue.) &#8220;Now closer to u like never before &#8230;&#8221;\u00a0Does it still wipe assholes? If so, it&#8217;s still just as close.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[560,1],"tags":[250,6],"class_list":["post-3625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-social","category-vl","tag-ads","tag-funny","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are We Still Talking About Toilet Roll? 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