{"id":357,"date":"2009-08-28T04:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-28T04:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=357"},"modified":"2009-08-28T04:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-28T04:12:00","slug":"the-silly-things-we-do-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html","title":{"rendered":"The Silly Things We Do (5)"},"content":{"rendered":"
No matter how hard I try not to laugh, I feel like there is always something funny going on in my life. Somehow, I find myself surrounded by people that say and do funny things – even when they don’t mean to. Apart from my dad, only one other man has made me laugh till I have tears in my eyes. But today’s post is about my dad.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My mother enjoys baking. She’s one of those women who love baking cakes, frying chin-chins, bons, and puff-puff, and baking meat-pies. I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about baking and all that ish (but I do love eating them all, of course). Why suffer to bake stuff when I can just buy them?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But I think my dislike\/disinterest in baking and frying snacks is my dad’s fault. Yes, dad’s fault. It all happened several years ago in Nigeria. I was about 12 or 13. I was curious about baking a cake – even though I had no recipe whatsoever. I pretty much knew or thought I knew everything that went into the cake (flour, eggs, milk, sugar, butter, nutmeg, can’t remember what else), but I didn’t know in what particular order it was supposed to go in. Did it matter? Anyway, mom won’t let me use her oven. She did not want me to waste<\/i> her gas. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So what did I do? After mixing my cake, I poured it into a metal bowl, and then, I placed the metal bowl in a boiling pot of hot water. It was kind of like making moi moi. I don’t know if that cake still qualifies as having been baked<\/i>. Maybe it was cooked. Or boiled. Anything but baked. It was not baked.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Where does dad come in? Well, dad was my boyfriend, you know. I used to pet him like he was my man or something. I used to clip his nails, clean out his ear wax, and wash his clothes. Whenever he fell asleep on the couch, I was there to put a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body. Dad said I would make a great wife. [Hey, his words not mine.. but I don’t disagree, of course. Hehe].<\/i> So that day, I could not wait to have my boyfriend (dad) taste my cake – a cake I loved by the way.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Dad sat at the table, and I served him a psychedelic slice of cooked cake. Mom, my cousin Nachi, the help Ngozi, and I were all gathered around dad, waiting for his judgment. It was as if my heart was in my hands. I could not wait to hear the verdict. Dad took a bite, churned, swallowed, took another bite, churned, and swallowed again.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Then while still holding the cake in his hand, he said, “This is nothing but akpu and sugar…”<\/i><\/span><\/b> After which the entire family – except me<\/i><\/b> – fell out laughing.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
…And there, my friends, is the reason why I don’t bake! Yes, that’s my story, and yes, I am sticking to it! <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

The Silly Things We Do (1)<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

The Silly Things We Do (2)<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
The Silly Things We Do (3)<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
The Silly Things We Do (4)<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No matter how hard I try not to laugh, I feel like there is always something funny going on in my life. Somehow, I find myself surrounded by people that say and do funny things – even when they don’t mean to. Apart from my dad, only one other man has made me laugh tillRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[201,166,14,6,4],"class_list":["post-357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-baking","tag-cooking","tag-dad","tag-funny","tag-silly-things","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Silly Things We Do (5) - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html\",\"name\":\"The Silly Things We Do (5) - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-08-28T04:12:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-silly-things-we-do-5.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Silly Things We Do (5)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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