{"id":333,"date":"2009-06-17T04:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-17T04:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=333"},"modified":"2009-06-17T04:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-17T04:12:00","slug":"so-i-finally-walked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html","title":{"rendered":"So I Finally Walked…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Funms,<\/span><\/strong><\/a> sebi you dey hear me so??? Yes, I walked.<\/p>\n

I’ve always loved taking walks. I think it releases endorphins. Maybe I’m wrong, but I love it. Haven’t been taking walks in the past… oh, I don’t know…. yeah, eight years! I’ve walked in the past eight years, but only when I’ve needed to – not for pleasure. Been planning on walking since last week, but I’ve been scared of ojuju catching me (I’ll explain later what I consider as ojuju).<\/em><\/p>\n

So on Sunday, I did it. I was going to walk at 7:00 PM, but the sun was still out and burning bright. Since I didn’t want to bake or roast, I decided to wait. So I waited till 9:10 PM. It was getting dark, but not completely dark. Armed with my mp3 player, my keys, and my dysfunctional blackberry (that keeps deleting my call records & text messages)<\/em>, I began my walk. As soon as I started, I met ojuju #1.<\/p>\n

Ojuju #1:<\/strong> Insects. I hate the flipping tiny, little suckers. They fly everywhere, hover over my head, get in my face (almost in my nose sef)<\/em>, and then have the audacity to perch on me. What insolence! And those little flying insects that have flashing green lights… oh, what I would do to crush every single one of them.<\/p>\n

But I kept walking. Twisting my waist here, gyrating my hips there. I kept on walking. Styling and profiling. Okay, maybe I’m exxagerating, but the walk was sweet sha. I admired the trees. Silently praised God for His awesomeness. Bracket was singing “Ada Owerri” in my ears. It took everything in me to not start dancing on the streets. Kept walking. Noticed things I hadn’t noticed before. Like a sign that says they’ll be building stores around the area. Maybe I should call and rent a store for blogging. America is already in debt. What difference will it make if I file bankruptcy at this point? I drive on that road about five days a week, but I only noticed the sign today. Everything was great until I saw ojuju #2.<\/p>\n

Ojuju #2:<\/strong> A big, white dog that looked more like a polar bear – with a long, furry, white tail, of course. It was running alone on the opposite side of the road. I don’t do dogs. I love them as long as they’re mine. This polar bear that called itself a dog was not mine, so I froze right where I was standing. Some day I’ll blog about my beef with dogs. Not today. This post is long enough as it is. Funny enough, the girl on the other side of the street (where the dog was) also froze when she spotted the animal. We looked at each other and laughed, strangers with a familiar fear. Then we kept walking, glancing at each other every few seconds and exchanging nervous smiles.<\/p>\n

That dog messed up my flow. Made me want to turn back. But I kept walking. Was determined to come back and tell Funms<\/span><\/strong><\/a> that I walked. The dog was ahead of me, so I kept my eyes on it. Didn’t seem harmful or unfriendly, but I’m human, and that dog – no matter its color or its cuteness – was still a darn dog. Who even owned the dog?? People should not let their dogs run around like that doggonit!<\/p>\n

Eventually, it made a right turn while I continued straight. I kept glancing back, trying to make sure it didn’t come back out. I was getting comfortable, and then I spotted it again. Oh, that was just it! I had had it. I turned around and started walking back home. That’s where I met Ojuju #3.<\/p>\n

Ojuju #3:<\/strong> I was walking on the right side of the road, so cars were coming up behind me. I was very, very paranoid. That was my ojuju. Kept feeling like a car would knock my elbow off. Don’t blame me. My mother instilled that fear in me when I was young. “Don’t walk close to the road; a car will knock your hand off.”<\/em> Same reason I never bring my hand out of the window while I’m driving. A car will knock it off. So I kept glancing back every few seconds, watching out for cars and my furry enemy. Then ojuju #4 came along.<\/p>\n

Ojuju #4:<\/strong> Some African-American man in a car stopped by. Had to happen at some point, right? Don’t remember the kind of car, but I think it was either gold or brown. I think he had a baby at the backseat. I might be wrong. It was dark.<\/p>\n

Man:<\/strong> **He said something I didn’t hear. Was listening to music**
<\/em>Me:<\/strong> What? [Took my earphones off]<\/em>
Man:<\/strong> You need a ride?
Me: <\/strong>No, thanks.
Man:<\/strong> Can I call you?
Me:<\/strong> No.
Man:<\/strong> Can you call me?<\/p>\n

Well, I just put my earphones back on and kept walking. Rubbish. It’s all my fault. I bothered to give him audience. When I was almost home, Electric Slide came up on my mp3 player (Yes, I have the electric slide on my mp3 player. That’s how much I love that stuff!)<\/em>. I wiggled a little bit while I was on the road. It was too hard to resist. It took all the self-control I had not to slide my brown butt back home. Made it back home at 9:47 PM. Thiry-seven minutes. Not bad. Will walk longer next time, hopefully.<\/p>\n

Lessons Learned:
<\/strong>* Leave home a bit earlier – between 8 and 8:30 PM
* Don’t wear slippers next time. Athletic shoes will work best.
* Take “sheltox” along (insecticides, for those that are not Nigerians). Thou shall spray every little bugger that comes thy way.
* Take a baseball bat in case you run into the likes of ojuju #2 and ojuju #3<\/p>\n

So yeah, I finally walked.<\/p>\n

P.S. I’m still receiving e-mails\/texts for the upcoming radio show www.blogtalkradio.com\/verastic<\/span> <\/strong> Topic is “Dates: Whose Bill Is It Anyway?”<\/em><\/u> Send me your questions about it. Or if you have stories about going on dates and having a payment-confusion situation, please send them!! Won’t mention your name on the show. Thanks, darlings!! radio@verastic.com 443-934-9039<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Funms, sebi you dey hear me so??? Yes, I walked. I’ve always loved taking walks. I think it releases endorphins. Maybe I’m wrong, but I love it. Haven’t been taking walks in the past… oh, I don’t know…. yeah, eight years! I’ve walked in the past eight years, but only when I’ve needed to –Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[184,6,185,186],"class_list":["post-333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-dogs","tag-funny","tag-ojuju","tag-walking","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSo I Finally Walked... - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html\",\"name\":\"So I Finally Walked... - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-06-17T04:12:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-i-finally-walked.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"So I Finally Walked…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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