{"id":330,"date":"2009-06-08T11:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-08T11:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=330"},"modified":"2009-06-08T11:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-08T11:12:00","slug":"im-feeling-lolo-ish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m Feeling Lolo-Ish"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yes, Lolo-ish.  As in Lolo the Queen.  Lolo-ish as in Queenish.  I feel like becoming a Lolo.  Suddenly the idea of being referred to as &#8220;Your Majesty&#8221; isn&#8217;t so bad.  I would love to clap my hands and have five maids appear, ready to do just about anything.  Maybe remove a hair from my face.  Maybe rub lip gloss on my lips.  Actually, scratch that.  I don&#8217;t really like people&#8217;s hands on my lips.  Well, I like certain people&#8217;s hands on my lips.  Not everyone&#8217;s.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>But as I was saying.  It&#8217;d be nice to have maids who are ready to do anything for me.  Maybe they&#8217;ll help me blink my eyes.  Or help me snap my fingers.  Or help me hiss.  Maybe I&#8217;ve just done number two and I don&#8217;t feel like wiping myself.  Guess who will do it?  Yeap, the maids!  Whatever I need to get done, the maids will be readily available.  And I&#8217;ll have palace guards too.  They&#8217;ll oil my scalp, massage my feet, rub my back, etc&#8230; you know, regular stuff that palace guards do (or should do).<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I&#8217;ve told Mr. Shoes to go and run for the Igwe position in his town &#8211; whether the position exists or not, and whether he qualifies or not.  But he thinks I&#8217;m being funny.  I think I&#8217;m just gonna go back to my own town &amp; run for the Lolo position.  It&#8217;ll be a little tricky because my town doesn&#8217;t have an Igwe position, so it especially doesn&#8217;t have a Lolo position, but nothing is written in stone, right?  Things change.  After all, once upon a time, we were all heterosexuals in this world &#8211; back when it was only Adam &amp; Eve.  But I digress&#8230;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I feel like being a Lolo.  I want to have my body adorned with the most beautiful beads the land has to offer.  I want to be clothed in royalty.  I want my husband to make royal love to me, so I can get royally pregnant, have some bonafide royal children, and be royally royal for all royal eternity.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>That&#8217;s not too much to ask, is it?<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yes, Lolo-ish. As in Lolo the Queen. Lolo-ish as in Queenish. I feel like becoming a Lolo. Suddenly the idea of being referred to as &#8220;Your Majesty&#8221; isn&#8217;t so bad. I would love to clap my hands and have five maids appear, ready to do just about anything. Maybe remove a hair from my face.<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html\" rel=\"nofollow\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6,177,179,178],"class_list":["post-330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","tag-lolo","tag-odd","tag-royalty","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I&#039;m Feeling Lolo-Ish - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html\",\"name\":\"I'm Feeling Lolo-Ish - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-06-08T11:12:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-feeling-lolo-ish.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I&#8217;m Feeling Lolo-Ish\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, &amp; Nwa Jesu. 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