{"id":324,"date":"2009-05-19T04:11:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-19T04:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=324"},"modified":"2009-05-19T04:11:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-19T04:11:00","slug":"men-are-under-immense-pressure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html","title":{"rendered":"Men Are Under Immense Pressure"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>All this time, I thought women were under so much pressure. \u00a0Well, we are. \u00a0We are under pressure to be skinny, wrinkle-free, spotless, and forever 21. \u00a0Oh, let&#8217;s not forget the pressure of having breasts that don&#8217;t succumb to gravity, a booty that can hold a glass of water, a stomach as flat as an ironing board&#8230; you get the idea. \u00a0<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>But I was going through my spam folder (for my verastic email), just in case any good mail ended up there, and I couldn&#8217;t help but feel sorry for men. \u00a0My spam folder has been bombarded will emails calling for me to immediately enlarge my penis size. \u00a0They must think I&#8217;m a man. \u00a0Either that or they think I&#8217;m a shemale. \u00a0Why else would my folder be flooded with crap like this?\u00a0<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I was really curious to open some of them, but I cannot imagine the kind of trojan horse that will attack my laptop, so I&#8217;m just gonna pass. \u00a0However, their subjects are quite funny. \u00a0Here are a few. \u00a0My thoughts are in parenthesis.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">1. \u00a0The best way to prove your virility is to get a Submariner SS watch.<\/span> <span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(What the heck is a submariner ss watch???)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">2. \u00a0Impress Her In The Bedroom<\/span> <span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I&#8217;d really rather not.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">3. \u00a0Make Her Say Yes &#8211; 3 Tips To Getting Your Lover Into Bed <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(So these are tips to trick her into bed.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">4. \u00a0Masturbation Myths<span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\"> <\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Tempting, but I&#8217;ll pass.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">5. \u00a0Feeling Unneeded In Bed? \u00a0We Can Change It To A Different Feeling <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(LOL! \u00a0Honestly, I&#8217;m feeling unndeed in bed. \u00a0Those stuffed animals do not appreciate my body warmth @ all!)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">6. \u00a0Your Time For Growth Enhancement <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(If you&#8217;re talking about enhancing what I think you&#8217;re talking about enhancing, then I&#8217;m sorry, I don&#8217;t have it).<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">7. \u00a0From Now On, You Will Be Able To Please Any Size Queen <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I don&#8217;t know if I should be pleased about this, but I&#8217;m not.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">8. \u00a0She Can Have An Orgasm Just By Looking At Your Submariner SS Watch <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Nawa o! \u00a0What is this watch made out of biko? \u00a0One thing is for sure: I have never, ever seen it.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">9. Thicker, More Muscular Manhood<\/span> <span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(For who exactly?)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">10. \u00a0Make An Impression Of A Lady From The Highest Circles <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I don&#8217;t understand.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">11. \u00a0Lion Power In The Bedroom <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I&#8217;d prefer <span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"\">Lio<\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">ness<\/span>)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">12. \u00a0Shove Your Giant And Give Her Real Tension <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I know this is supposed to sound dirty, but goodness, does it have to be so graphic?)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">13. \u00a0Now You Can Please Your Brand New Girlfriend Easily<\/span> <span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Brand new, yes. \u00a0Girlfriend, no.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">14. \u00a0Your Super Mega Beast Will Grow Like On Yeast <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(I don&#8217;t understand, but I think &#8216;super mega beast&#8217; and &#8216;yeast&#8217; should not appear in the same sentence.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">15. \u00a0Your Bulge Will Be So Noticeable You Will Have To Wear A Kilt <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(And where exactly \u00a0would this bulge be located?)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">16. \u00a0Your Watch Will Understand You Better Than Anyone Else <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(This watch again???? \u00a0I&#8217;m too afraid of trojans. Or else, I woulda googled it).<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">17. \u00a0Women Love Enormous Tools, and Believe Us, That&#8217;s The Rule <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Women, let your voices be heard: how true is this?)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">18. \u00a0Break Those Chains That Have Forged Your Manhood <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(LOL! \u00a0This almost sounds like we&#8217;re binding the devil. \u00a0Break those shackles!)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">19. \u00a0Now You Don&#8217;t Have To Look For Something To Cover Your Manhood When You&#8217;re Naked <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Men do that? \u00a0Eyaa. \u00a0Poor them.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-weight: bold;\">20. \u00a0You Can Have A VIP Male Toy Inside Your Pants <\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\">(Please explain.)<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-style: italic;\"><br \/><\/span><\/div>\n<div>Now, ladies, aren&#8217;t you glad you&#8217;re a woman??? \u00a0Imagine if you were under so much pressure to increase your manhood, please her in bed, and make her have an orgasm just by looking at your watch. \u00a0Boy!!! \u00a0I&#8217;m glad I&#8217;m a woman.\u00a0<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Now all I have to do is figure out how to <del>stay<\/del> become skinny, <del>remain spotless<\/del> clean up all my spots, <del>keep my breasts from falling<\/del> have a breast reconstructive surgery, remain wrinkle-free, <del>keep my flat tummy<\/del> have surgery to take off some ribs and liposuction to flaten my stomach, plump up my butt (so that it can comfortably sit at least 5 people), and of course, <del>remain 21<\/del> reverse my age to 21.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Yeap, being a woman is soooooooooooooooo much easier. \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All this time, I thought women were under so much pressure. \u00a0Well, we are. \u00a0We are under pressure to be skinny, wrinkle-free, spotless, and forever 21. \u00a0Oh, let&#8217;s not forget the pressure of having breasts that don&#8217;t succumb to gravity, a booty that can hold a glass of water, a stomach as flat as an<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html\" rel=\"nofollow\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6,120,56,161],"class_list":["post-324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","tag-junk","tag-men","tag-women","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Men Are Under Immense Pressure - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html\",\"name\":\"Men Are Under Immense Pressure - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-05-19T04:11:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Men Are Under Immense Pressure\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, &amp; Nwa Jesu. Nigerian girl with Russian roots and future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/verastic.com\",\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/verastic\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/verastic\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/author\/vera\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Men Are Under Immense Pressure - Verastic","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vera Ezimora","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html","name":"Men Are Under Immense Pressure - Verastic","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website"},"datePublished":"2009-05-19T04:11:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/men-are-under-immense-pressure.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Men Are Under Immense Pressure"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/","name":"Verastic","description":"Recklessly authentic.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a","name":"Vera Ezimora","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Vera Ezimora"},"description":"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, &amp; Nwa Jesu. 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