{"id":316,"date":"2009-04-25T04:11:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-25T04:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=316"},"modified":"2009-04-25T04:11:00","modified_gmt":"2009-04-25T04:11:00","slug":"its-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html","title":{"rendered":"It’s Over"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s over between us. \u00a0Even though I have not officially broken up, I know it’s over definitely over. \u00a0I might be wrong, but no1 ever goes into a relationship and hopes for it to end. \u00a0In my experience, the hope for it to end comes @ a later time – after the excitement and passion (which by the way are sometimes only a figment of one’s imagination) has washed away and your eyes open up to the big mess you have put yourself in. \u00a0It is @ that time that one begins to wish for the end of the relationship. \u00a0It can also be referred to as the “Oh, Crap”<\/span><\/span> moment. It appears that I have come to that moment and time.<\/p>\n

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After the agonizing, almost-self-mutilating, physical and emotional trauma I suffered from my previous relationship with my boy shorts, I swore to never, ever, ever be caught with an uncomfortable underwear. \u00a0I only started wearing boy shorts because of how pretty and colorful they were. \u00a0Talk about being shallow! \u00a0After I exited that relationship and successfully sought some counselling, I began to wear Hipsters. \u00a0They were my all and all, my soul mate in underwears: beautiful, colorful, and oh yes, comfortable. \u00a0Have I lost you? \u00a0Well, let me clarify: Yes, I am talking about my underwears.<\/div>\n
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The hipster underwear really hasn’t done anything to me. \u00a0It has been nice to me. \u00a0Maybe that’s the problem. \u00a0It has been too nice. \u00a0I now realize that the hipster was the rebound underwear, an underwear that I fell hard for just because I was in pain and needed someone<\/del> something to comfort my pain. \u00a0So that is the story of how my butt cheeks fell into the warming comfort and embrace of the hipster.<\/div>\n
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Now that I’m feeling better (and totally over the hurt, pain, and suffering I experienced from the boy shorts), my eyes have opened, and I realize that the hipsters are just not sexy enough! \u00a0They’re not even all that<\/span> colorful. \u00a0Alright, I lie. \u00a0They’re colorful enough. \u00a0But in terms of sexiness, on a scale of one to ten, the hipsters have 2. \u00a0See, that just isn’t enough. \u00a0These hipsters don’t make me feel sexy. \u00a0They don’t make me feel all girly inside. \u00a0They don’t compel me to dance in front of my mirror with a can of hair spray as my microphone while I gleefully, confidently belch out the song, “And I am telling you… I’m not going\/ You’re the best man I’ve ever known\/ There’s no way I can ever go\/ No, no, there’s no way\/ No, no, no, no way\/ I’m living without you\/ I’m not living without you\/ I don’t wanna be free\/ I’m staying… I’m staying\/ And you, and you…\/ You’re gonna love me\/ You’re gonna love me…..”<\/span><\/span> \u00a0Well, you get the idea. \u00a0No need to type out the entire lyrics. \u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Seriously, the hipsters don’t make me want to sing this song. \u00a0Sure, I don’t have the voice for the song, but that is sooooo not the point. \u00a0Instead, the hipsters make me wanna sing, “When a woman’s fed up\/ It ain’t nothing you can do about it\/ It’s like running out of love\/ And then it’s too late to talk about it…”<\/span><\/span> \u00a0So you see, it’s obvious I need new underwears. \u00a0The question is which ones??? \u00a0No, I will not wear thongs\/g-strings\/t-strings or whatever goes between my butt cheeks as my regular, everyday underwear. \u00a0The fact of the matter is that I am pretty content with the natural slice that God has put between my butt cheeks, so I do not intend to make the slice bigger by putting a string in it everyday. \u00a0Come on, people. \u00a0Think of something.<\/div>\n
Z\u00a0<\/div>\n
…. In case you’re interested, my love affair with the hispters started here.<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s over between us. \u00a0Even though I have not officially broken up, I know it’s over definitely over. \u00a0I might be wrong, but no1 ever goes into a relationship and hopes for it to end. \u00a0In my experience, the hope for it to end comes @ a later time – after the excitement and passionRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6,122],"class_list":["post-316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","tag-underwear","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt's Over - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html\",\"name\":\"It's Over - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-04-25T04:11:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/its-over.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"It’s Over\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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