{"id":299,"date":"2009-03-05T05:13:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-05T05:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=299"},"modified":"2009-03-05T05:13:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-05T05:13:00","slug":"on-bridesmaids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html","title":{"rendered":"On Bridesmaids…"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, Bumight<\/span><\/a><\/strong> struck a chord with me on her recent post about wanting to be a bridesmaid<\/span><\/a><\/strong>. I have been a bridesmaid only one time in my life, and that was when I was Busola’s maid of honor. It goes without saying that it was Busola’s honor to have me as her maid of honor. Soon, I’m gonna be a bridesmaid for another friend, and no, I’m not gonna tell you who, when, or where. I talked about Busola’s nuptials so much that my picture was found by many people. Once bitten, twice shy. I refuse to talk about this wedding. There were two other times I was part of a wedding: once when I was my aunt’s little bride (gosh, I was too hawt!), and the other time, I was an usher (or was it a hostess??); the point is that we wore a beautiful burgundy gown.<\/p>\n

Our dear Bumight<\/span><\/a><\/strong> has never had the honor<\/del> expense of being a bridesmaid. Sure, you’ll look cute (if you’re not made to wear some butt ugly dress that highlights all your flaws), and sure, you’ll have your pictures taken by a professional photographer. Let’s not forget the chance to walk arm in arm with what is hopefully an eligible bachelor – if only for that day. I think my favorite part is when the bridal party dances into the reception. That’s when I can show my kolomentality in the name of dance moves – not that I really have any.<\/p>\n

Anyways, Bumight wants to be my bridesmaid. What wedding, you ask? Well, Bumight has joined the other crazy people (Funmi & Busola) in planning my wedding to my valentine. Bumight, don’t worry; you, Funmi, and Busola are obviously all being carried in the same boat. Funmi and Busola have already started planning the speech they will give at my wedding. They even argue about whose speech will be better. Needless to say, I am not part of this conversation, but it is quite entertaining to listen to. Sometimes, I do indulge them, I must admit. I have long since removed all doubts about Funmi’s and Busola’s insanity. They’re certified ‘crase people.’ And you, Bumight, have joined them. Congratulations!<\/p>\n

For you, Bumight (and anyone else who might be interested in being my bridesmaid), please read below.<\/p>\n

1. All bridesmaids must have their dresses (which I will design) sewn by Vera Wang.<\/span>
<\/span>
2. Once chosen as a bridesmaid, no bridesmaid, can decline the offer.<\/span>
<\/span>
3. Each bridesmaid must get to the wedding in a stretch hummer limousine that will be paid for by the bridesmaid. One bridesmaid per limo, please!<\/span>
<\/span>
4. Each bridesmaid must buy the aso-ebi lace, of course, which will cost only $2000 for 5 yards.<\/span>
<\/span>
5. Each bridesmaid must use that asoebi material to sew a style that I have designed: micro mini skirt & half top – with the words, “Vera’s Maid”<\/strong><\/u> inscribed boldly across the chest.<\/span>
<\/span>
6. Each bridesmaid must wear a pair of gold metalic stripper shoes designed by either Manolo Blahnik or Christian Louboutin. And no, they will not be stripping @ my wedding! The groomsmen are welcome to, though. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/span>
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7. Anyone who is interested in being a Verastic bridesmaid should please answer the 5 questions below & mail it to my P.O.BOX immediately. Though I am not getting married yet (in fact, I’m not even engaged), it is imperative that I plan ahead, no? Please mail in your Verastic Bridesmaid application ASAP, and you will get a response once the wedding date has been set.<\/span><\/p>\n

Verastic Application Form [all areas marked with asteris (*<\/strong>) are required, and the number of *s denotes how much power this question has…in determining if you get the honorable position or not. Answer wisely, my friends.]<\/em><\/p>\n

*Name:<\/strong>
<\/strong>
*Address & Number:<\/strong>
<\/strong>
**********How much are you willing to donate to the Verastic wedding?<\/strong>
<\/strong>
**********How soon can you start the donation?<\/strong>
<\/strong>
Why do you want to be a Verastic bridesmaid?<\/strong><\/p>\n

All readers are eligible to become Verastic bridesmaids. I have even decided to shatter myths by allowing men to become my bridesmaids, so RocNaija, Rethots, Aloofar, Chari, Black007, Fine Agbero Boy, Jaguda, Nuggetzman, Danny Bagucci, Dabizniz, Darius Williams, Tobenna, Webround, Aribaba, Doug, NaijaDude, Banky W, Emeka Amakeze, Boorish Male, Naughty Eyes, Dante, NaijaLeta, Engineer Ayo, Mr C, Carlang and the rest of our male bloggers (and readers) are all free to apply. C’mon, I know you’ve all been picturing yourselves in pretty dresses & gowns, sashaying down the aisle all prim & proper. Admit it already and do the right thing!<\/p>\n

This may come as a shock to you – considering how competitive this position is<\/em> – but it costs absolutely nothing to apply for this position. Yes, I know…. I’m awefully sweet! Sometimes, I don’t know what to do with myself!<\/p>\n

So Bumight<\/span><\/a><\/strong>, how you take see am?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, Bumight struck a chord with me on her recent post about wanting to be a bridesmaid. I have been a bridesmaid only one time in my life, and that was when I was Busola’s maid of honor. It goes without saying that it was Busola’s honor to have me as her maid of honor.Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[159,117,13,82,6,155,26],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-bridesmaids","tag-bumight","tag-busola","tag-funmi","tag-funny","tag-my-valentine","tag-wedding","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nOn Bridesmaids... - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html\",\"name\":\"On Bridesmaids... - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-03-05T05:13:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/on-bridesmaids.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"On Bridesmaids…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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