{"id":274,"date":"2008-12-04T05:10:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-04T05:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=274"},"modified":"2008-12-04T05:10:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-04T05:10:00","slug":"this-tropical-rain-forest-sha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html","title":{"rendered":"This Tropical Rain Forest Sha"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have been kinda busy lately. It’s not been easy updating my blog, but I have tried to stay on top of things. I have not even had the time to blog-patrol as usual, and I apologize. Don’t take my absence on your blog as anything personal. Time has just not really been on my side. When has it ever been?<\/em> That being said, I hate to admit this sad, painful truth: I have let myself go! Now brace yourself as I intend to get very Verastic.<\/p>\n

So on wednesday, I took my clothes off in front of my dresser. I was standing there completely nude when I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, “Ah, ah…I thought I already took off my underwear.”<\/span><\/strong><\/em> It took another glimpse for me to realize that what I thought was an underwear was not an underwear, but rather my pubic hair. Oturugbeke! When did it become this bad?????<\/p>\n

I know I have been busy, but my goodness!! It’s a black tropical rain forest down there. I don’t know why I have so much hair; it’s not like I’m planning on growing my own weave or something, so what the heck is going on? It is a wonder that my sponge has not gotten tangled yet. This is really mind-boggling. When did all this hair grow? It’s really weird for me because I actually groom frequently, and besides, I’m not even a hairy person, so it takes a long time for my hair to grow. The fact that I have so much hair there makes me feel like I have not groomed in months. Oh, goodness… has it really been months???<\/p>\n

If I had a husband, this would be the time he would have asked in a serious, matter-of-fact tone, “Vera, are you trying to grow dada (dread locks) down there?”<\/span><\/em><\/strong> But alas, there is no husband, so I must witness this abomination alone. Of course, I have gotten rid of the tropical rain forest. I am now so fresh and so clean. Luckily for me, I did not need the services of a professional lawn mower, neither did I need a bull dozer to get rid of the fallen trees (strands of hair).<\/p>\n

Oh, and by the way, I took a picture of the tropical rain forest and sent it to Busola & Funmi for their viewing pleasure. Hehehehe. The last time I sent such a ridiculous picture, it was a picture of my poop, and I sent it because it (the poop) was unusually long. Busola happened to open the picture while she was eating. Let’s just say she has since banned me from sending picture messages to her phone. lol. But did that stop me? Nope?? Although, I’m now kinda wishing I didn’t….<\/p>\n

My people, please help me beg Busola ooo! She is threatening to show her husband a picture of my pubis. Busola, stop it oooo! And she’s saying she’ll take the picture to work to show everyone. They already think I’m crazy @ her job because she keeps telling them ridiculous stories of me. Busola, I’m sorry!!! Biko, don’t do this thing you’re threatening to do oh; it will ruin my reputation. And Funmi is in support of this evil. Sooooo not funny!!! Busola said I should have thought about my reputation b4 sending the picture. Kai… how I go take do damage control?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been kinda busy lately. It’s not been easy updating my blog, but I have tried to stay on top of things. I have not even had the time to blog-patrol as usual, and I apologize. Don’t take my absence on your blog as anything personal. Time has just not really been on myRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThis Tropical Rain Forest Sha - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html\",\"name\":\"This Tropical Rain Forest Sha - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2008-12-04T05:10:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/this-tropical-rain-forest-sha.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"This Tropical Rain Forest Sha\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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