{"id":267,"date":"2008-11-07T15:15:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-07T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=267"},"modified":"2008-11-07T15:15:00","modified_gmt":"2008-11-07T15:15:00","slug":"so-this-past-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/so-this-past-weekend.html","title":{"rendered":"So This Past Weekend…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I went for the naming ceremony like I mentioned in my other post<\/span><\/strong><\/a>. That ceremony was baaaad!!! … in a good way, of course. DJ dey there. Live band sef dey there. We danced and danced. The music kept switching from DJ to live band. I danced till I could dance no more – literally. I pulled a muscle, and that was soooo not funny! Both of my legs are still hurting badly. My thighs hurt. My calves hurt. My feet hurt. My toes hurt. I wore heels most of the day – night rather. Funmi drove us to the venue; I drove back. It shoulda taken me an hour to get home; I drove home in like 40 mins. Na so I dey speed 4 road. Funmi and her three siblings all fell asleep in the car and left their lives in my hands. I shoulda driven us all into a ditch.<\/p>\n

By the way, you know what time I left the party? Past six in the morning! And the only reason why it was six in the morning was because the time had changed. It would have been seven in the morning. Never in my life have I attended such a naming ceremony. Alcohol was unlimited. Music was unlimited. Dancing was unlimited. Food sef was unlimited. Even though I did not have a drop of alcohol, I felt drunk on something. It musta been the music. Or someone drugged my sunkist.<\/p>\n

The party couldn’t go without meeting those<\/strong><\/em> people. Out of respect for the hosts, I will not blog about everyone I feel like blogging about. I will however, blog about two guys whom I have absolutely no respect for.<\/p>\n

Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Be-Friends:<\/strong> So there I was dancing away, not caring who was looking or what they mighta been thinking about this Igbo gal who was dancing with her ikebe. Mr. I Just Wanna Be Friends<\/strong> decided that he wanted to talk 2 me. After the usual small talk like what’s your name, where are you from…blah blah blah, he got down to business.<\/p>\n

Him: Can I have your number?<\/p>\n

Me: No, I have a boyfriend. (forget about the veracity of this statement. That is my new story, and I’m sticking to it.) <\/em><\/p>\n

Him: [looking puzzled]<\/em> I just wanna be friends. (Yeah, right! Gimme a break. Na so dem dey take become friends 4 ur village? *hiss*) <\/em><\/p>\n

Me: No, I’m sorry I still can’t.<\/p>\n

Him: What about an email address?<\/p>\n

Me: Nope.<\/p>\n

Him: Please. I’m begging you.<\/p>\n

Me: No, I cannot.<\/p>\n

Him: Do you live with your boyfriend?<\/p>\n

Me: No.<\/p>\n

Him: So what’s the problem? Will he beat you if he finds out you’re talking to me?<\/p>\n

Me: [amused]<\/em> No, he won’t beat me, but I still cannot.<\/p>\n

Him: Maybe you’ll consider me next time we meet then?<\/p>\n

Me: Yeah, maybe.<\/p>\n

So I bet you’re wondering what’s so special about him. Well, the next day, I found out he’s married!! And his wife is pregnant. Ah, the God that I serve is a living God oh. What kind of nonsense is this? Tufia kwa. It is not my portion oo. I rebuke all ye married men. If I see him next time and he dares to open his mouth and say that rubbish to me, I’ll have a very good answer for him.<\/p>\n

Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Screw-Her:<\/strong> Yes, people. Someone actually said he just wants to screw me, that’s all. He told Funmi that he liked me, but he hoped I wasn’t the kind who will cling to him after he got what he wanted. After Funmi told him I wasn’t that type (who will give it up…unless you’re Barack Obama), he said that was even better because he did not wanna share me with anyone else. By the way, this dude is married. With kids. And maybe like two baby mamas. And yes, he’s Nigerian – Yoruba to be precise. And that nonsense Funmi of a girl even came to deliver the message to me. So what did I do? I told her to tell him to talk to me himself. Boy, I can’t wait to lay his ass out. You should see this guy I’m talking about. Busola swears he looks like a goat. Looking @ the pictures, I cannot say I didn’t see the very striking resemblance between him and that goat my grandma used to have. May his soul rest in perfect stomach.<\/p>\n

I really am tempted to show pictures of these dudes. I know they know me. The goat-looking one will not have a hard time locating this site. We have plenty mutual acquaintances. I’m not scared of what will happen if I put his picture here, but out of respect for the hosts, I will not.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>This is that crazy friend of mine, Funmi. The gal was dancing alllllllllll night long. She swears she was not drunk, but I beg to differ. As we speak right now, a special team is investigating the issue. If it makes you feel better, there are plenty more pictures from where this one came from. In other words, you know I won’t leave you without pictures. There were about 1000 (yes, one thousand) pictures, but I have only uploaded 62 for your viewing pleasure. I doubt if any of you wanna see a thousand pictures. Oh, I forgot to mention that the baby’s name is Tanitoluwa. She has other names actually, but Tanitoluwa is my favorite, so I will call her, Tani! She’s soooo gorgeous. To view the pictures, click HERE<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

And can I just say, Congrats Obama!!!!!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I went for the naming ceremony like I mentioned in my other post. That ceremony was baaaad!!! … in a good way, of course. DJ dey there. Live band sef dey there. We danced and danced. The music kept switching from DJ to live band. I danced till I could dance no more – literally.Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[56,136],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-men","tag-tani","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSo This Past Weekend... - 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