{"id":237,"date":"2008-06-21T04:01:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-21T04:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=237"},"modified":"2008-06-21T04:01:00","modified_gmt":"2008-06-21T04:01:00","slug":"robbin-da-cradle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html","title":{"rendered":"Robbin’ Da Cradle"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ah, my life. So here is what happened to me yesterday.<\/p>\n

I was jejely sitting at a table in the public library, my laptop on and running with my online class displayed. I was supposed to be studying, but I was engrossed in my favorite author, Eric Jerome Dickey’s book, PLEASURE, a book that had way more sex plots than I cared for.<\/p>\n

As with every other good novel I have read, I was totally, unashamedly into the book, oblivious of my surrounding and the pair of eyes that had been watching me. But he interrupted my flow. The conversation that followed between us was fast paced and familiar in an unfamiliar way.<\/p>\n

Him<\/u><\/strong>: What book are you reading?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *taking my eyes away from the book and lifting my head to see a young guy standing on the other side of my table*<\/em> Uhm… Pleasure by Eric Jerome Dickey.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> So why do you have your laptop on?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I’m supposed to be using it.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Why don’t you use the ones here? *referring to the library computers*<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Cause I have mine.<\/p>\n

Him<\/u>:<\/strong> But these ones are free.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u> <\/strong>So is mine.
<\/u>
Him<\/u>:<\/strong> Are you writing a paper?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> No<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Is it (the book) for school?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> No<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Are you in school?<\/p>\n

Me<\/u>: <\/strong>Yeah.<\/p>\n

Him<\/u>:<\/strong> What school?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX<\/p>\n

Him<\/u>:<\/strong> What are you taking up there?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Psychology.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Oh, cool. So can you read my mind?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *laugh…this is a question I have heard too many times*<\/em> Not yet.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Want to know what’s on my mind?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *smiling, realizing this dude was flirting with me<\/em>* Tell me.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I can help you; you can help me. You feel me?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> No, not really.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Can I come over and draw it for you?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Sure.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *comes over to my right side. Draws two stick figures, one being me, and the other him. A bent arrow extends from my stick figure to his stick figure and another arrow from his stick figure to mine*<\/em> Got it?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *shaking my head*<\/em> No. Tell me in words.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *Pulls a chair and sits by my side, less than an arm’s length away*<\/em> You help me; I help you. We help each other. Cool?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Cool.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> I might become crazy tomorrow, and you’ll be my Psychologist.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Okay.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I know a lot about cars. Maybe I could fix yours some day.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Cool.<\/p>\n

Him: <\/u><\/strong>So maybe we could have ice cream, see a movie some time.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *smiling uncontrollably, with much shame*<\/em> How old are you?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> How old are you<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I asked first.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> And I asked second.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> So answer first.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Save the best for last.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Tell me.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> How old do I look?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Don’t know.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Guess.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I’m bad at guessing.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Practice.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I did. Failed woefully @ it.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I’m 18.<\/p>\n

@ this point, I lowered my head in SHAME<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Hold old are you?<\/p>\n

Me<\/u><\/strong>: XX<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Cool.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> No, not cool. I’m XX years older than you.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I know. I can do math.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> That’s a lot of years.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I know.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> You can do math.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Yes. So what’s up?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *smiling*<\/em> I can’t do this.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Why not?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I’m older than you.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> So?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> So…I can’t go see a movie with you.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> So you can’t have a relationship with an 18 year old?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> No.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I’m legal. It’s not like I’m 17.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I know.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I should have lied and said I was 21<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I’d still be XX years older than you.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> You wouldn’t date a twenty-one year old?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> *shaking my head*<\/em> I wouldn’t even date someone my age.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> So you’re saying you can’t learn anything from me?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I didn’t say that.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> So you can learn something from someone younger?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Yeah, but not in the way you want me to.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Can we be friends?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Sure.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Will you call me?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I’ll think about it.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> When will you let me know?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> When I’m done thinking about it.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *looks at me funny like he could see through me, his look betraying his unbelief in my words*<\/em> If I walk out of here, I might never see you again.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I come here all the time. *lies*<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> I don’t. So you’re gonna call me?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> How were you gonna call me? You didn’t even ask for my number.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I was going to. *lies*<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> When?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> After this conversation *lies*<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *laughs*<\/em> Who are you gonna ask for?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> You<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> You didn’t ask for my name.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Was going to.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> When?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> After getting your number *lies*<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *looks @ me in that way that woulda made me tingle…if he was a man*<\/em> What’s your name?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> Vera *truth*<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> Let me put my number in your phone.<\/p>\n

I hand him the phone, he puts his number in and saves it under his name, Hakeem
<\/em>
A little girl is lurking close to him, about 11 or 12 years old. <\/em>I ask:<\/u><\/strong> Is she your sister?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *smiles*<\/em> Yes. She’s not my daughter.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/u><\/strong> I didn’t think she was. *truth*<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/u><\/strong> *stands up, stretches his hand out to shake mine*<\/em> I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you, Vera.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/u><\/strong>*shaking his hand*<\/em> You will. *LIES*<\/em><\/p>\n

He was fine, no doubt. The conversation flowed well, almost literary and poetic, but after all was said and done, he was still 18, and I was still XX years older than him, unwilling to become a cougar. All I could think about were the insults I will receive from my big-mouthed friends, Uju & Busola. I could just hear the insults in my head:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. So Vera, are you taking your man to Mickey D for a happy meal? <\/li>\n
  2. Is your man at the baby sitter’s place?<\/li>\n
  3. Vera, were you his date to his high school prom?<\/li>\n
  4. Have you ever changed his diaper?<\/li>\n
  5. Busola will say, “Look, Hakeem, just because you’re dating my friend does not mean you can disrespect me. After all, your mates call me Aunty.”<\/li>\n
  6. What’s your favorite Gerber flavor?<\/li>\n
  7. Vera, have you fed your man his bowl of cerelac?<\/li>\n
  8. What size does he wear, 2T or 3T? (‘T’ stands for toddler in children’s clothes).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Kai…. my Verastic life!<\/p>\n

    **** Hakeem is not his real name. And yes, this is a true life story.*******<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Ah, my life. So here is what happened to me yesterday. I was jejely sitting at a table in the public library, my laptop on and running with my online class displayed. I was supposed to be studying, but I was engrossed in my favorite author, Eric Jerome Dickey’s book, PLEASURE, a book that hadRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[6,96,97],"class_list":["post-237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-funny","tag-hakeem","tag-verastic","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nRobbin' Da Cradle - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html\",\"name\":\"Robbin' Da Cradle - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2008-06-21T04:01:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/robbin-da-cradle.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Robbin’ Da Cradle\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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