{"id":173,"date":"2006-11-22T18:31:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-22T18:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=173"},"modified":"2006-11-22T18:31:00","modified_gmt":"2006-11-22T18:31:00","slug":"im-seeing-red-literally","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html","title":{"rendered":"I’m Seeing Red….LITERALLY!"},"content":{"rendered":"

While I know no1 cares 2 know this, I still feel the need to tell everyone that I am on my flippin period! Yes, I said it. It started yesterday…and it came along with the cramps. I don’t always have cramps, and even when I do, they are almost never as intense as it was yesterday. I guess I’ve been under a lot of stress….with planning my wedding to NaijaBloke<\/strong><\/span><\/a> and all.<\/p>\n

In case you’re wondering how come I’m getting married to NaijaBloke when I already stated that my baby, Hugh Jackman is ‘the one’, well, it’s really quite simple. You see, Bloke and I are perfect for each other. We love each other dearly and we see things from the same perspective. We’re both confident in what we have, so he lets me do my thing with Hugh Jackman and I let him do his thing with Patience Ozokwor. Somehow, my finace cannot get enuff of Patience Ozokwor; I think it’s because of the phat booty on her. But anyways…Hugh understands my situation because he is married himself. Therefore, married or not, I will still see my baby, Hugh Jackman.<\/p>\n

Now, speaking of my fiance, Bloke, whoever knows him should go and warn him oh! Cause all this one that he is planning on buying me a ring from the flea market with a ‘ruby like’ thing on it, I no send o! Bloke, don’t make me call this wedding off o! After all, you’re not the only fish in the sea ah ah. Just the other day sef, Joel<\/span><\/strong><\/a> proposed 2 me. Take time o!<\/p>\n

Back 2 my cramps…they r killin me! My waist feels like I’m pulling 200 pounds, and I cannot take it anymore! I need a waist rub ASAP. Where is that NaijaBloke when you need him sef?! Is there anyone out there who is willing to give me a waist rub? This is ridiculous. And because today is my second day, I anticipate a fowl mood. I’m gonna be snapping @ everyone for everything. Too bad Busola is the one who will suffer it cause I’m spending the day with her. Hehehehehe.<\/p>\n

So how are y’ll preparing for thanksgiving tomorrow? I don’t eat turkey, but I bake one every thanksgiving. I usually taste it, of course, but that’s as far as I am willing to go. I just spiced up my turkey some minutes ago and put it in the fridge to marinade. I’ll wake up early tomorrow morning and put it in the oven; you know it takes forever and a day to bake. I believe it’s an hour for every 4 pounds right? And my turkey weighs 19.7 pounds, so that’s about 4 hours and 40 minutes.<\/p>\n

I gotta say that seasoning the turkey wasn’t easy @ all. I felt so dirty! There I was sticking my entire fist into this poor thang. I wasn’t even ‘fingering’ it; I was ‘fisting’ it. Yes, all pun intended. But I think the turkey is a freak! At one, point, I heard it moan! Or maybe that was just Bloke moaning. He was watching a Naija movie with Patience Ozokwor and she makes him as hard as Chinese calculus. Even I<\/em> can’t elicit such a result!<\/p>\n

Meomeo’s sister had a beautiful baby girl yesterday. I haven’t seen her (the baby) yet, but I know she is beautiful. The naming ceremony is on tuesday….yay! My excitement isn’t because the baby will be officially named, but rather that I will get 2 eat some party food. What’s so special about a naming ceremony? After all, I didn’t have one and look how GREAT I turned out. Hmmm, I hope they make that spicy goat meat. Perhaps, I should go with my own plastic plates for the take-away food. Hmmmmm….. *thinking*. I realize some (if not all) of you must be wondering, ‘who the hell is Meomeo?’; well, worry not…just know his name is Meomeo. And no, he isn’t a cat!<\/p>\n

Alright….off I go. My waist is pulling me down. I’ll be back tomorrow to put up before and after pictures of my turkey. Lemme know if you want a slice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While I know no1 cares 2 know this, I still feel the need to tell everyone that I am on my flippin period! Yes, I said it. It started yesterday…and it came along with the cramps. I don’t always have cramps, and even when I do, they are almost never as intense as it wasRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[3],"class_list":["post-173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-ms-flow","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI'm Seeing Red....LITERALLY! - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html\",\"name\":\"I'm Seeing Red....LITERALLY! - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2006-11-22T18:31:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/im-seeing-red-literally.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I’m Seeing Red….LITERALLY!\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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