{"id":160,"date":"2006-10-20T03:31:00","date_gmt":"2006-10-20T03:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=160"},"modified":"2006-10-20T03:31:00","modified_gmt":"2006-10-20T03:31:00","slug":"mental-rantings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html","title":{"rendered":"Mental Rantings"},"content":{"rendered":"

MUSICAL CONDOMS http:\/\/www.gizmodo.com\/assets\/resources\/2006\/10\/kondor.jpg<\/a><\/p>\n

And I thought things couldn’t get worse. Why the hell would some1 need a musical condom? It’d great 2 hear music while having sex, I guess, but why from down there?? I’m still tryna understand the use\/need of glow-in-the-dark condoms, and now this?? What do the glow-in-the-darks do? Give the penis light to find it’s way in the dark dungeon? I mean, in a dark room, all you’d see is…. a banana-shaped thing glowing in the dark. That’s kinda scary 2 me.<\/p>\n

Anyways….so the muscial condoms become louder as the sex becomes more passionate (if the people having sex are as loud as mu neighbours, then adding musical condoms would just be wicked 2 the neighbours!).<\/p>\n

Apparently, it was invented by a Ukrainian called, Dr.Grigoriy Chausovskiy, but don’t worry, you won’t be electrocuted in the process of this condom singing (that’s what he said).<\/p>\n

So many thoughts r runnin thru my head (as usual): does this thing run on battery or electricity? I’m hopin it’s not electricity sha cause I know electricity does not mate well with wet<\/em> surfaces. And if it runs on battery, then wat kind? What if the battery gets in there and gets outta the condom and then gets lost inside the woman? That wuld be a new problem o!<\/p>\n

Lastly, I have to wonder though: if for any reason, this condom becomes faulty and decides to electrocute, who will be most traumatized victim? The penis wearing it or the vagina in which the evil, evil condom is lodged?<\/p>\n

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I’ve been forgeting to mention the fact that I saw the movie, Employee of The Month on Saturday. And it was funny as hell. It was laugh out loud funny! I laughed so much I had tears running down my cheeks and my ribs were hurting. I’d recommend any1 to see it (if you’re a comedy lover). I wasn’t gonna seeit cause I don’t like Jessica Simpson (as much as I used to) cause of the divorce from Nick. Of course, I’m sure Jessica doesn’t give a rat’s ass what some Naija gal in Maryland thinks about her, but oh well.<\/p>\n

Needless 2 say, I think she is exceptionally beautiful. She has such a beautiful smile…am I the only one that thinks so?<\/p>\n

Anyways, click HERE<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to watch the preview.<\/p>\n

MY DATE WITH NOAH BENNET<\/p>\n

My mother is obsessed with the daytime soaps on (Passions & Days of Ours Lives) on NBC. She almost goes 2 work late cause she’s tryna catch one more minute. I used 2 watch Passions, but I quit cause they seem to not be going anywhere…@ least, not anywhere that I want them 2 go. And besides, the things they do are soooooooooo stupid! They make my skin crawl.<\/p>\n

Anyways, for whatever strange and unknown reason, I dreamt about Noah Bennet on Passions, whose real name is Dylan Fergus as I just found out. Yeah, yeah, I know you were thinking it was a real date, but trust me, I’m wishing the same too!<\/p>\n

The dream: I was sittin on a couch (don’t know where this was) with Noah’s head on my laps. I was playing with his hair and we were talking (can’t remember wat we were talking about).
The he said, “I can take you on a date, can’t I?”
I said, “Don’t ask me if you can take me. Tell me you’re gonna take me.”<\/p>\n

Then……MY MOTHER WOKE ME UP<\/p>\n

SSHHHHIIIIITTTTTT<\/p>\n

Don’t u just hate when that happens??? She woke me up cause I had 2 go help my grandma take care of her three kids (that she babysits) while grandma goes 4 her eye doctor’s appointment. And boy, did those kids piss me off! The youngest one (five month old baby) kept on crying and crying and crying. Soon as grandma came in, he stopped crying. Well, at least I learnt one thing from him: I’m definitely gonna need a maid!<\/p>\n

Who knows what coulda\/woulda happened between me and Noah\/Dylan? (In the dream, I called him Noah – all the better to emphasize it wasn’t real since it’s not his real name *sad*). i coulda woken up this morning with his ring on my finger…who knows? I wanted 2 say I coulda woken up carrying his baby, but on second thoughts, that would be a real-life omen. How would I xplain that I got pregnant in my dream? Would that be considered an Immaculate Conception, or a demonic attack? I’m thinking it’d be called a demonic attack. http:\/\/www.nbc.com\/Passions\/photos\/cast\/images\/c_fergus_1.jpg<\/a><\/p>\n

Anyways, the point is, I think this Dylan guy is FINE!! Yes, I know I’m always talkin about fine guys, but what else is there 2 talk about? The ugly ones hardly leave any impressions (that are not sheer rage) on me. No offense to any ugly man out there, of course.<\/p>\n

PHOTO BLOG<\/p>\n

I have seen quite a few photo blogs, so I have been thinking bout having one of mine. But the thing is, I am not a professional photographer, neither do I intend to become one. And besides, I don’t even know how to edit pictures and all that stuff. I’m sure I might be able 2 educate myself if I take the time out to play with it, but there is just so much else to do. Well, I’m still thinking about it. I’ll decide some time…. some day…<\/p>\n

That’s it for today. We’ll see again tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

MUSICAL CONDOMS http:\/\/www.gizmodo.com\/assets\/resources\/2006\/10\/kondor.jpg And I thought things couldn’t get worse. Why the hell would some1 need a musical condom? It’d great 2 hear music while having sex, I guess, but why from down there?? I’m still tryna understand the use\/need of glow-in-the-dark condoms, and now this?? What do the glow-in-the-darks do? Give the penis lightRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[1222],"class_list":["post-160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-vl","tag-vl","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMental Rantings - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html\",\"name\":\"Mental Rantings - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/imagecache2.allposters.com\/images\/AQUA\/24-423.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2006-10-20T03:31:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/imagecache2.allposters.com\/images\/AQUA\/24-423.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/imagecache2.allposters.com\/images\/AQUA\/24-423.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/mental-rantings.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Mental Rantings\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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