{"id":14555,"date":"2018-12-19T07:15:24","date_gmt":"2018-12-19T12:15:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=14555"},"modified":"2018-12-18T23:37:40","modified_gmt":"2018-12-19T04:37:40","slug":"let-me-tell-you-about-my-single-friend-kay-and-how-you-women-are-the-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/let-me-tell-you-about-my-single-friend-kay-and-how-you-women-are-the-problem.html","title":{"rendered":"Let Me Tell You About My Single Friend, Kay (And How You Women Are The Problem)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sweet Potatoes, get in here. <\/p>\n

This is my friend, Kay – short for Kayode – and he is single. Why does it matter that he’s single? Or why am I introducing him and his marital status? Well, let me tell you why. A couple weeks ago, I, Kay, and Funmie hung out. We went to Suya Spot in Owings Mills. It was my first time there, but I’ll definitely visit again. <\/p>\n

\"Verastic\"

Sandwiched between two women, Kay is definitely a lucky man<\/p><\/div>\n

Anyway, we ate and drank and laughed, and at some point, I decided to go into Inquisitive-Vera-Mode and ask Kay why he was still single. He said it was because he had not found what he was looking for. I asked Kay what it was that he was looking for, but I won’t tell you what he said. I’ll let him convey that message himself. Also, what he’s looking for is not the point of this story.  <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The point of this story is that I asked Kay how he “toasts” women (do people still say “toast?”). For the non-Nigerians, toasting a woman means asking her out.  My Sweet Potatoes, Kay told me that he does not ask women out, AND that men do not ask women out anymore AND that women don’t like\/need to be asked out. Apparently, that’s old school now?<\/p>\n

The last time I got “toasted” was on Wednesday, December 12th 2018, so for me, toasting is very much alive and well. In fact, to me, toasting isn’t just alive and well but also necessary. Mandatory. Compulsory. A must. Imperative. Required. No toasting for what?<\/p>\n

Naturally, that led me to another question: But how do you get ladies?<\/p>\n

He shrugged.<\/p>\n

Here’s the thing about Kay: He’s nice, he’s tall, he has a nice smile, he’s easy on the eyes, he’s cultured, he has a sense of humor, he’s military, and he looks good in his uniform. And if you’re like me, you appreciate that he isn’t lanky, that he has meat on his bones, that he’s grabbable<\/em>. And that he can shoot to kill. So sexy.<\/p>\n

Kay doesn’t have to do much to entice or impress the ladies. In my mind, I imagine him flashing a smile, followed by his military I.D. and the women come running. He may throw a joke or two in there and the ladies immediately decide to support the military by giving Kay a happy ending. Maybe that’s not how it happens in real life, but that’s how it happens in my mind. I wonder how many women reading this story know Kay AND have given him many happy endings. Please oh! I don’t want to know. <\/p>\n

But all you women who let Kay shine your congo without at least toasting you are to be blamed. Because of you, Kay now thinks that women no longer want or need to be toasted. Our dear friend, Kay is out of touch, and maybe that’s part of why he’s still single. He cannot find what he’s looking for because what he’s looking for wants to be toasted and chased, and you can’t see what you are not looking for.<\/p>\n

There are some things in life that can be panty droppers – and a military man ranks very, VERY high on that list – but ladies, stop ruining it for the other women. Imagine how many men Kay has “coached” and told that women no longer need to be chased, and those men have gone into the world as Kay’s apprentices, boldly following his footsteps. And then some nice lady is sitting somewhere pissed off, irritated, and heartbroken because she cannot understand why that man thought he could just do that! Well, that ain’t right.<\/p>\n

So, what was Funmie’s job during this conversation? Well, I was the question asker, and she was the answer interpreter because she has known Kay longer and she knows him better, so when he said things that almost dropped my jaw on the floor, Funmie was there to say, “What Kay is trying to say is ….”<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

I’m curious though: are there other men out there who believe that women no longer want or need to be toasted? Explain yourselves, please. I really want to know.<\/p>\n

P.S.<\/strong> If you want me to do an honest review of Suya Spot, let me know in the comments.<\/p>\n

P.P.S.<\/strong> Funmie and I have pictorial chemistry. I just made that up, but we totally have it.<\/p>\n

P.P.P.S.<\/strong> If you like the Let-Me-Tell-You series, you should read more of them HERE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sweet Potatoes, get in here.  This is my friend, Kay – short for Kayode – and he is single. Why does it matter that he’s single? Or why am I introducing him and his marital status? Well, let me tell you why. A couple weeks ago, I, Kay, and Funmie hung out. We went toRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14567,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561],"tags":[231,1466,261,1210,1033,226],"class_list":["post-14555","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal","tag-dating","tag-dating-while-nigerian","tag-funmie","tag-let-me-tell-you","tag-military","tag-relationships","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLet Me Tell You About My Single Friend, Kay (And How You Women Are The Problem) - 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