{"id":1377,"date":"2011-09-08T20:35:31","date_gmt":"2011-09-09T01:35:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.verastic.com\/?p=1377"},"modified":"2012-10-18T02:29:53","modified_gmt":"2012-10-18T06:29:53","slug":"if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html","title":{"rendered":"If Only I Had A Blackberry Bold 9900 …"},"content":{"rendered":"

Something frightening happened to me on Friday night (yes, I mean last week). I had a nightmare. I know you must be curious about the correlation between this nightmare and the Blackberry Bold 9900. Keep reading. By the end of the story, you too, will agree with me. \u00a0I dreamt about Mercy Johnson. Before you hiss, let me just say that it is an absolute coincidence that I’m blogging about Mercy Johnson in what seems like a back to back post.<\/p>\n

The dream<\/del> nightmare:<\/strong> Mercy Johnson was in labor. And no, I did not think about her, her husband, or her wedding before I went to bed.[If at this juncture you are confused about the identity of Mercy Johnson, her wedding, or the relevance of Mercy Johnson and\/or her wedding, then you should read this post<\/a><\/strong> before you proceed]<\/em>. \u00a0She was in a room, lying on a bed, on her back. There were several women in there. I assume they were midwives or something of that sort. They were all urging her to push. She was sweating, crying, huffing and puffing. All normal routines of childbirth — except for the fact that I was in there, too, and I don’t know Mercy Johnson from Eve.<\/p>\n

It gets even weirder. Naturally, Mercy Johnson’s labor did not go without drama. In her right hand was a\u00a0machete\u00a0which she was required to hold and ward off –\u00a0preferably\u00a0kill – evil spirits. The entire time Mercy was pushing, she was waving that machete all around. A couple of times, it came close to me, and then, I had to remind her that it was just me, not an evil spirit. No, I do not know why evil spirits were allegedly in the room, or why a machete was the chosen weapon of evil spirit destruction. They could have just shouted Jesus<\/em> or Blood of Jesus<\/em> like normal people.<\/p>\n

As if that was not bad enough, the midwives decided that Mercy needed to do something else to make the push easier. She was clearly in tremendous pain and having a lot of trouble pushing. I wonder if it had anything to do with the heavy machete she had to swing above her head while pushing. So what did Mercy Johnson have to do? Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. She just had to scoot to the bottom of the bed, sit up, and then — pee!<\/p>\n

And boy, did she pee!! Water came gushing out of Mercy Johnson like someone had turned on the power faucet and forgotten to turn it off. Stranger than that was the fact that I was standing in front of her the entire time she was peeing, and my response to her was to give her two thumbs up. It was at this time (6:30 AM) that my alarm went off.<\/p>\n

I know what you’re thinking: what does this have to do with the Blackberry Bold 9900?<\/em> Well, when I woke up from the dream, I thought to myself, what the hell kind of dream was that? Was God trying to tell me something?<\/em> I think I distinctly heard God say, “Err, no. That wasn’t me.”<\/em> Now, if I had the Blackberry Bold 9900 when I had this colossal damage of a dream, I would have woken up confused, then I would have looked beside me, spotted a Blackberry Bold 9900 in bedside mode, \u00a0and then, I would have smiled and said, “Well, at least I have a Blackberry Bold 9900.”<\/em><\/p>\n

So you see why this phone is so important to me then???<\/p>\n

P.S.<\/strong> I did not consume any kind of alcoholic content before I went to bed.<\/p>\n

P.P.S.<\/strong> I am now accepting proofs of love in the form of a Blackberry Bold 9900.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Campaign:<\/strong> Help Vera Ezimora. Help Verastic. Help Blogville. Help the world wide web. Help Nigeria. Help the United States of America. Help Africa. Help North America. Help Earth. Help the world. Just help!!!! To help, buy Vera Ezimora \u00a0a Blackberry Bold 9900.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Something frightening happened to me on Friday night (yes, I mean last week). I had a nightmare. I know you must be curious about the correlation between this nightmare and the Blackberry Bold 9900. Keep reading. By the end of the story, you too, will agree with me. \u00a0I dreamt about Mercy Johnson. Before youRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561,1],"tags":[268,342,6,385,383],"class_list":["post-1377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-personal","category-vl","tag-blackberry","tag-dreams","tag-funny","tag-mercy-johhnson","tag-mercy-johnson","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIf Only I Had A Blackberry Bold 9900 ... - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html\",\"name\":\"If Only I Had A Blackberry Bold 9900 ... - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-09-09T01:35:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-10-18T06:29:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/if-only-i-had-a-blackberry-bold-9900.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"If Only I Had A Blackberry Bold 9900 …\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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