Hian! Is it by force to go to wedding, biko nu? What if I don’t just want to attend your son’s wedding? Apparently, that’s not an option. Well, it’s an option, but one with a price tag. So I made the mistake of casually stating how I had no interest in even joining a women’s meeting because which kin wahala be dis one? That was when my mommy sent me into a kind of laughter that troubled my insides.<\/p>\n
Mom:<\/strong> You have to join a meeting oh!<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> I don’t want to join a meeting.<\/p>\n Mom:<\/strong> You have to! Whether it’s Igbo meeting or Yoruba meeting, you must join one.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Mom, I said I don’t want to do. Is it by force?<\/p>\n Mom:<\/strong> Nne, you have to, you cannot be alone.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong>\u00a0I am not alone.<\/p>\n Mom:<\/strong> Lie! You lie! You have to join a meeting.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> *erupts in ruckus laughter*<\/em><\/p>\n Mom:<\/strong> It’s not funny to me oh! If you want, keep laughing, but you must enter that meeting.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> *more laughter*<\/em><\/p>\n The only kind of meeting I want to have right now<\/p><\/div>\n The passion with which she spoke is what made my belly full of laughter. That said, I don’t know how Yoruba women’s meetings go – and I have no interest in finding out – but the Igbo women’s meetings I have witnessed are nothing but shouting and minerals (s0das). There’s always a president, a secretary, an accountant, and a provost. I still don’t know the job of the provost, but what I know for sure is that I want no parts of said meetings.<\/p>\n Even in the CWO (Catholic Women’s Organization) meeting here in Baltimore, which my mommy was part of, na so so fight every meeting. This person stole money. That person did not wear uniform. This person eyed that person. That person’s ichafu (scarf\/gele) was too big … who does she think she is sef? Tufia kwa. And this is the “religious” meeting. Imagine the ridiculousness at the “regular” meetings like the famous August one? Nope. Not interested.<\/p>\n I have never had much interest in or understanding of these social gatherings. I don’t know how the western women do their meetings (or if they even have such things), but the Nigerian ones I have witnessed are like watching a Nollywood movie live. Most of them don’t like each other, but somehow, they all agree on getting together every *insert random schedule here*<\/em> to fight some more. I remember when my mom had a position in the CWO meeting here where she had to do something related to the election – yes, they had elections too. Hello democracy – and although I was not in the meeting, I, myself, thought I would lose my mind. I was tired of mom talking about it, tired of her meeting members calling to discuss who rigged the election, and definitely tired of hearing about the people who were yet to pay their dues.<\/p>\n I am not opposed to joining a social group, but I am more likely to start one of my own (I have done this before online, as an MSN group, before social media was popular), and I met a lot of people through the group. If I were to join one that is already in existence, I would need to have a very clear understanding of what the group’s vision is. And as of this very moment that I’m writing this post (2:36 AM Eastern Time [8:36 AM Nigerian Time], sitting on my bed, next to my little angel, Ada Verastic), I have no desire to be in meeting full of Nigerian women of any tribe. Too much estrogen. Too much Nigerian. Too much drama. I don’t like drama.<\/p>\n But wait oh, is it my age or my new status as a mom that makes my mommy think that I need to be in a Yoruba or Igbo meeting? Negodu [just look at] this my mommy. What is she trying to say?<\/p>\n![\"The](\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Leading-Meeting-DP.jpg\")