{"id":10629,"date":"2015-04-06T06:10:32","date_gmt":"2015-04-06T10:10:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=10629"},"modified":"2015-04-04T02:15:16","modified_gmt":"2015-04-04T06:15:16","slug":"dear-vera-im-unhappily-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/dear-vera-im-unhappily-married.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear Vera, I’m Unhappily Married"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Vera, I have been divorced for 7 years and remarried for 6 years. I have 2 teenage children with my ex and 1 grown child from a prior relationship. We married when I was 24 and my child was 4. After 15 years of marriage I divorced him solely for his inability to control his alcohol. There was never any violence, just emotionally unavailable. I felt I was putting our children first when I left.<\/em><\/p>\n

Our relationship for 3 years after divorce was cold and very bitter! I noticed he slowly began to change and we could have a conversation without fighting. Fast forward 2 years…he finally opened up and told me how he finally figured it out and understood why I left. All the shame and regret he had for not being a better husband. He has always been a good father to all 3 children. He actually thanked me because he wouldn’t be who he is today had we stayed married. He needed a wake up call to realize what he lost. He has never remarried.<\/em><\/p>\n

I married my current husband out of loneliness and for financial stability. I know these aren’t good reasons but they are honest. I care for him but, I am not in love with him. I never stopped loving my ex and really want our family back together. I have told my ex this and he has told me he wants the same. I know this will hurt my current husband immensely but my heart just doesn’t love him the way a wife should. Do I stay unhappily married or give my ex a second chance?<\/em><\/p>\n

___________________________________________________________<\/p>\n

Dear Sweet Potato,<\/p>\n

I appreciate your candor. You mentioned that you married your second husband out of loneliness and for financial stability. The good news is that you know what you did and why you did it; the bad news is that whether you choose to stay or leave, feelings will be hurt. I do not condone divorce, but I know that sometimes, things happen. I also don’t think it’s fair to you or your husband that you stay in a loveless marriage. However, before you leave your husband – if that is what you eventually decide to do – ask yourself honestly, would you be leaving him if your ex husband wasn’t whispering in your ears right now? What if you leave him for your ex husband and things don’t work out as planned? What if your ex goes back to drinking?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

Ultimately, Sweet Potato, the decision is yours to make. If you’re not sure what to do, then take your time and think deeply about it, keeping in mind that there will be repercussions to whatever decision you make. That being said, if you are dissatisfied in your marriage right now and you don’t resolve the issue(s), you will never be happy. I don’t know how spiritual you are, but I’ll suggest that you should also take it to the Lord in prayer and ask for guidance and wisdom.\u00a0 I wish you all the very best, Sweet Potato.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/p>\n
\n

*** Read past Dear Vera mails here<\/strong><\/a>.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n

Thank you for reading!\u00a0\u00a0Please understand that I am not a professional and I am only giving you my opinion, which you can act upon at your own risk. Read my disclosure<\/strong><\/a> for details. Meanwhile, if you are interested in sending me a Dear Vera mail, you may do it in one of three ways:(1)<\/strong>Directly via email [blog at verastic.com], (2)<\/strong> Through my contact page [and this can technically be anonymous], and (3)<\/strong> Completely anonymously through my ASK.FM page<\/strong><\/a>. Every means of contact can be found here<\/strong><\/a>.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Vera, I have been divorced for 7 years and remarried for 6 years. I have 2 teenage children with my ex and 1 grown child from a prior relationship. We married when I was 24 and my child was 4. After 15 years of marriage I divorced him solely for his inability to controlRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8995,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[560],"tags":[719],"class_list":["post-10629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-social","tag-dear-vera","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDear Vera, I'm Unhappily Married - 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