Something frightening happened to me on Friday night (yes, I mean last week). I had a nightmare. I know you must be curious about the correlation between this nightmare and the Blackberry Bold 9900. Keep reading. By the end of the story, you too, will agree with me. I dreamt about Mercy Johnson. Before you hiss, let me just say that it is an absolute coincidence that I’m blogging about Mercy Johnson in what seems like a back to back post.
The dream nightmare: Mercy Johnson was in labor. And no, I did not think about her, her husband, or her wedding before I went to bed.[If at this juncture you are confused about the identity of Mercy Johnson, her wedding, or the relevance of Mercy Johnson and/or her wedding, then you should read this post before you proceed]. She was in a room, lying on a bed, on her back. There were several women in there. I assume they were midwives or something of that sort. They were all urging her to push. She was sweating, crying, huffing and puffing. All normal routines of childbirth — except for the fact that I was in there, too, and I don’t know Mercy Johnson from Eve.
It gets even weirder. Naturally, Mercy Johnson’s labor did not go without drama. In her right hand was a machete which she was required to hold and ward off – preferably kill – evil spirits. The entire time Mercy was pushing, she was waving that machete all around. A couple of times, it came close to me, and then, I had to remind her that it was just me, not an evil spirit. No, I do not know why evil spirits were allegedly in the room, or why a machete was the chosen weapon of evil spirit destruction. They could have just shouted Jesus or Blood of Jesus like normal people.
As if that was not bad enough, the midwives decided that Mercy needed to do something else to make the push easier. She was clearly in tremendous pain and having a lot of trouble pushing. I wonder if it had anything to do with the heavy machete she had to swing above her head while pushing. So what did Mercy Johnson have to do? Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. She just had to scoot to the bottom of the bed, sit up, and then — pee!
And boy, did she pee!! Water came gushing out of Mercy Johnson like someone had turned on the power faucet and forgotten to turn it off. Stranger than that was the fact that I was standing in front of her the entire time she was peeing, and my response to her was to give her two thumbs up. It was at this time (6:30 AM) that my alarm went off.
I know what you’re thinking: what does this have to do with the Blackberry Bold 9900? Well, when I woke up from the dream, I thought to myself, what the hell kind of dream was that? Was God trying to tell me something? I think I distinctly heard God say, “Err, no. That wasn’t me.” Now, if I had the Blackberry Bold 9900 when I had this colossal damage of a dream, I would have woken up confused, then I would have looked beside me, spotted a Blackberry Bold 9900 in bedside mode, and then, I would have smiled and said, “Well, at least I have a Blackberry Bold 9900.”
So you see why this phone is so important to me then???
P.S. I did not consume any kind of alcoholic content before I went to bed.
P.P.S. I am now accepting proofs of love in the form of a Blackberry Bold 9900.
Campaign: Help Vera Ezimora. Help Verastic. Help Blogville. Help the world wide web. Help Nigeria. Help the United States of America. Help Africa. Help North America. Help Earth. Help the world. Just help!!!! To help, buy Vera Ezimora a Blackberry Bold 9900.
ROTFLMAO! For one? I really do think u dreaming of Mercy J is a nightmare, I sympathise.
2? See wetin blackberry don cause?
Nice one fooling us with the blackberry, I aint even mad that the blog isn’t bout bb lol. Here’s PRAYIN u get it
Mimi,
LOL @ fooling you. I am not fooling you oh! This is a serious (READ: DESPERATE) cry for a Blackberry Bold 9900. I want it soooo badly. You have no idea! And LOL @ dreaming about Mercy Johnson being a nightmare. I really don’t understand why I dreamed about her. Strange.
Vera … this is one scary Nightmare…
9janeo, I know!!! So now you see why having a Blackberry Bold 9900 would have made it all better? 😀
ROTHFLMAO uncontrollably. Wow Vera LOL. First, let me thank you for promoting my husband’s company. I am sure they would appreciate it. So while I was reading this article, I thought to myself “did Vera watch a naija movie before going to bed?” After reading this story, it so sounds like a naija movie. LMAO Vera. Still trying to figure out the correlation. I too want a bold but its pricey right now. Will see what the price looks like in a couple of months.
Adabeke, the correlation is as I have mentioned it. LOL. If I had a BB, it would make it all better. Tehehehe. Nne, believe me, if promoting RIM/Blackberry could get me a free phone ehn, I would have had several by now. Do you know how many times I have talked about this phone? I’ve tweeted about it, talked about it, prayed about it, and now, blogged about it. In fact, I must own this phone oh! There are no two ways about it sef.
Oh, and to answer your question, I did not watch a Nigerian movie oh. Haven’t seen one of those in a long time. I don’t know why Mercy Johnson was in my dreams. I still suspect it was an indirect message telling me how much I need a Blackberry Bold 9900 😐
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Hilarious!!!!!! heheheee…. U r a very funny girl 😀
Dalu, I’m glad you find it funny, but I’m still in dire need of this Blackberry Bold 9900 oh!!! In fact, I’m about to stage a demonstration sef.
“P.S. I did not consume any kind of alcoholic content before I went to bed.”
We all know you don’t really drink alcohol. Question is, were you smoking something? He he he….
I have had weirder dreams.
Lucid, hahaha. See your mouth. Well, no, I did not smoke anything either. All I ate were about five Ritz crackers. Per the drinking, I have actually started drinking more oh! I don’t know if this should be a thing of pride, but yes, I have started more drinks. Problem now is caring enough to remember the name of what I drink. Oh, well.
And why am I not surprised that you’ve had weirder dreams?
This Blackberry fixation is so last decade. Get over it. Android rocks!
Joxy, mind yourself oh! Respect yourself! Hmmmmm!
XD This piece is hilarious. Thanks, I needed a laugh today.
Awwww. Thanks, Dotun. Thank God you laughed. Hope you keep laughing ooo 🙂
Pass the spliff, Vera! LOL. You obviously have the good stuff.
Vera….lol…….am in dying need of any BB model……while campaigning pls do campaign for two