Did You Hear The One About The Naked Picture???

Last week Monday (October 3rd), Twitter was apparently buzzing with news about a certain celebrity’s naked picture having been mistakenly leaked. I heard/read/saw/knew nothing of it till Wednesday. I was sad that I had once again carried last in the knowledge of hot gist. The picture that was floating around was that of Mo’cheddah. Although I am familiar with her name, I am quite  unfamiliar with her music. I have no idea if she sings, raps, or mimes. And so, I cannot tell you what song she has sung, but I know it exists. I am not sure why I have not bothered to check. But the point is, her naked picture ended up on Twitter’s public timeline instead of ***DRUM ROLL*** Eldee’s message inbox (on Twitter). Sweeeeet!

*Gasp* I think Mo’Cheddah is doing something with Eldee. Married Eldee. But then again, there could be other plausible explanations for why her naked picture was en route to his inbox … like the one I heard she gave: someone hacked into her account. Where have I heard that before? I wonder what Eldee’s wife is thinking or saying: That her husband has humiliated her? That Mo’Cheddah is a husband snatcher or a home wrecker (words that are used mostly by wives of cheating husbands in their attempt to describe the other woman) That her husband was lured into it? Or that a witch in a remote village is pressing him like a remote control? Anything is possible these days.

Frankly, I couldn’t care less who Eldee does or where he gets his fix of virtual porn. He’s not my man and the woman in question is not my daughter or sister. But for the sake of all the other cheats out there, please realize that in every illegitimate affair between two or more people, there is always, always – and I do mean ALWAYS – a minimum requirement: at least one of the participating partners must be smart. Eldee and Mo’Cheddah have demonstrated that they are both incapable of doing something as easy as sharing their affair discretely in one hundred and forty characters or less.

In his attempt to cover up what everyone and their cat already saw, Eldee sent what was supposed to be yet another direct message (a private message), and in it he said, “If people here with us see it, just say one of the guys also in the hotel posted it to you, maybe a chic they came back with posted it or somn.” So how is it then that after the picture and his subsequent tweet went viral, both celebrities tweeted and denied sending the picture and the tweet? Apparently, the picture was not even of Mo’Cheddah (someone sent it to her) and both their accounts were hacked … at the same time … after they both performed in the same show … while they were both lodged at the same hotel. Oh, but of course.

When you try to send a picture as a direct message, a little warning pops up and tells you that it will be posted in the public timeline. When you are having an affair, you should probably read every pop up — especially ones that come after you hit the SEND button for your naked picture. If Mo’Cheddah had been just a little bit smart, her picture wouldn’t have surfaced. As for Eldee, well, he’s still fully clothed.

But all isn’t lost. The good news is that this will eventually blow over as people have bigger and better things to worry about. The bad news is that Mo’Cheddah isn’t important enough for her scandal to remain scandalous = relevant.  At least, Kim Kardashian became a crazy famous multi-millionaire. The other bad news is that until this blows off, she will be remembered as the shameless girl who sent her naked picture to a married man. Eldee, on the other hand, will be remembered as the bad ass who got Mo’Cheddah to send him her naked picture.

All is not fair in fame and nudity.

P.S. Of course, I did not behold her picture. A certain somebody sent it to my phone, but I closed my eyes shut.

P.P.S. And of course, such a picture cannot be displayed here. It’s bad for business.