Funny Archives - Page 12 of 51

March 12, 2013

Give Me A Spouse Or I Die!

My regret is that I did not blog of this event sooner. I knew of it a while ago, but I completely forgot to share it here so that people who are now on the brink of death caused by spouselessness can go to this event. The funny part is that there are people who actually feel this way. And there are people who attended this event ... AND these people said this prayer to God. I can just see it happening. The pastor will say, "Now, say, FATHER!!! GIVE ME A SPOUSE OR I DIE! DON'T ALLOW MY ENEMIES Read More

March 12, 2013

Wife + Husband + Wife’s Lover = One Big Happy Family!

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. Here's the story: Maria Butzki, mother of two girls (16 and 12) left her husband, Paul Butzki for her lover, Peter Gruman. But she did not know that she would miss her husband so much, and at the same time, she did not want to leave her lover. Somehow, the two men became friends, and Maria got the bright idea to move them both into the same house. Isn't that wonderful? So now, Maria lives with her husband, their children, and her lover. Both men have Read More

March 11, 2013

Woman Hides Loaded Gun In Her Vagina

That's right. Her vagina. Christie Dawn Harris was arrested for drug possession, and she kept saying that she needed to go to the bathroom. When she got to lock-up, she was to take her clothes off and change to jail uniform, and she was also directed to take her underwear off for inspection. She said she didn't want to take her underwear off because she was on her period. Eventually, she took her underwear off, and that was when the officer spotted something metal and wooden sticking out Read More

March 8, 2013

A Toaster That Creates Penises & Vaginas? But Of Course

What kind of world would we be living in if we did not have toasters that print penises and vaginas on our bread? Sacrilege! The people at Breakfast In Bed have created a toaster that does magic. You put your bread into the toaster and it comes out with a toasted-on penis or vagina. I'm assuming that one slice of bread comes out with the penis, and the other comes out with the vagina. There are even toasters for gay and lesbian people that print two penises and two vaginas, respectively. Or Read More

March 7, 2013

That Awkward Moment When You Mistake Sperm For Lotion (And Rub It On Your Face)

Or that other awkward moment when you wonder why the heck there's even sperm in a lotion bottle. Crazier things have happened. So, the story goes like this: nineteen year old student, Zeng Lin received a bottle of lotion from her secret admirer - oh, how sweet! She rubbed half the bottle on her face - must have been a tiny bottle - before she realized it had a strange smell. Yup. You guessed it. It was sperm. Her not-so-secret admirer Gou Wen, 22, sent the bottle of lotion sperm. But he Read More

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