The other day I was watching a new Ghanaian movie, The Perfect Picture (you know I’m current with these things. Oh, you didn’t know?). Anyway, it’s a really nice movie, beautifully done. It doesn’t have twists and turns. I expected it would end the way it did. But that’s not the point of this post.
You know how love making scenes in Nigerian movies make you wanna puke and remain celebate, right? Don’t tell me I’m the only one they have that effect on. This movie, however, was different. The love making scene was really nice. It didn’t have them sweating profusely under a thick, ugly, multi-colored blanket and grunting like they were trying to force out a slice of shit that was double the size of their anus. Too graphic?
Instead, it looked like they were making love AND loving it. In fact, it didn’t even look like one or both partners were being punished through sex. It didn’t look like the man was trying to jam his penis and his entire body into the woman’s little orifice. Ah, that must be what making love looks and sounds like.
Oh, get this. They even did it in more than one position. Yes! This movie had Africans procreating in a position that did not involve the man lifting and throwing his entire weight on the woman. They like to refer to this as missionary. It’s not the position that I have qualms with. It’s the way the Nigerian/African movies usually do it. Makes my eyes hurt.
Funny enough, that is still not the gist of this post. The gist is that I was watching the movie with my mother. So what exactly was I supposed to do when the love making scene came on? Watch it with mom? Eww. Concentrate on my laptop and pretend I didn’t know what was on TV? Yawn, stretch, and pretend to be sleepy? Say ‘Eww’ and forward that scene (only to come back and watch it when Mom is not around)? I even thought about prentending not to know what they were doing.
[INSERT SERIOUS IGBO ACCENT] Mommy, why are Uncle and Aunty naked and looking dazed? Sex????? Mommy, what is this sex that you speak of, and why are they doing it? To have children???? But Mommy, is it sweet or bitter? [EXIT SERIOUS IGBO ACCENT].
On second thoughts, I figured that wouldn’t work either. So I braced up and finished the movie. I am woman enough to watch soft porn a movie with my mom.
P.S. The Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio will air on Thursday, July 2nd 2009 @ 10:00 AM U.S. Eastern time (3:00 PM Naija time), Nigerian Tact (Or Lack Of It). We’ll be talking about the way Nigerians use the least diplomacy when dispensing their usually not-sought opinions. E-mail me with your stories/comments/questions. radio@verastic.com
Ah Vera i am 1st? Now this is interesting! A post on seyles? Apart 4m Missionary wat other styles have u seen in Movies or Prefer! I am kidding. Congrats on the radio show!Olu Nubia
Lmao…that must have been a tad bit uncomfortable sha oo. But sometimes me I wonder if 9ja men knw mre than missionary, cos dts d popular position wiv dem.
U know, my momma will tell me to fast forward the scene before i even finish thinking. u are kinda funny with trying to pretend that u dint know what they were doing?
looks like african movies have improved
yay! I am gonna watch it tomorrow! I have been hearing rave reviews! ewww @ African sex scenes!!!
U for ask ur mom y d man was fighting the woman… lol
oya im looking for it
Isn't this by Shirley Frimpong-Manso? I'm not surprised by your review if that's the case. I really enjoyed her other movie. i think it's called Life and Living It. I shall be on the look-out for this one too.
Lol at you and your mum. At least she didn't make any embarassing comments.
Yah..i watched the movie too…it was bunz sha but that part mehn *cough*. Did your mom say anything after or during the movie regarding the scene. Me i would have just pretended to not even see or form that i want to go to the bathroom lolz
LWKM!!
LOOOOOOL…I SHULD GO SEE THE MOVIE TOO THEN, HEARD IT WAS GUD BUT WAS ITCHY WEN I HEARD IT WAS GHANIAN..(LOL ITS FUNNY CUZ MY BOO IS GHANIAN..LOL ND YET I STILL DISCRIMINATE!)
lmao…..vera u are too funny, most times what i do is i will just pretend to be doing something else until that scene is over…
oh my, dat movie totally rocked vera, i just finished watchin it and i was tellin my friend how it looks more like hollywood wit unknown actors. i wish Nigerian film makers n artist will stop back bitin n dressin outrageously n concentrate on makin such classic. anyway i feel u on d love makin scene, i wld ve done worst self, d last time i watched a movie like dat wit mom, i pretended to be sleepin until i even slept off self. thumbs up on ur first radio show, u sounded like a lolo, i hope u felt lolo-ish on dat day, i'm sorry i cldnt call in, but dis time, na me n u.
Wow! I wonder what was going through your mum's mind when that scene was on. Oh boy, I think I would give my left hand to know!
I have to watch that movie.
ahem undercover some Naija men no more than that missionary oh…
Infact some or rather one (that i know) can hang from burglary LOL
vera may i never be caught in such a scene that's the only thing i can say….
If it ever happens i shudder to imagine the type of comment that my mama will make.
I'll spare you details of some thing she has actually said regarding sex!!!
Gosh i've been gone from blogsville too long; didn't even know u had a radio show. how does it work? Do i tune in to your blog at the said tyme or is it on another site?
Nice to know that the African movies' sex scenes have improved. I think i might watch the movie just for that scene.
LOL about your mother being there, did she say anything afterwards? i know what my mother would have done though…pretend like nothing happened.
Vera darling where did you get that DVD…m so going to stalk you for it o!!
Girl, i had my grandma over and it was so difficult to even watch such scenes…I'd be very quiet, shift a bit and then hope by the time i looked up it would be done..I remember one time she said 'Oh they are fighting again!'..LOL..girl i had to crack up!!
I'll definitely try to listen in to your show, might even call in but then again m not Naija o..lol…
Vera seriously you no go kill person pikin o!
you did the right thing jo…i.e just boning and watching the scenes with mumsie!!!…I wonder what was going thru your mum's mind while watching the scene with you…
Now this:"grunting like they were trying to force out a slice of shit that was double the size of their anus." was hilarious!!!
rotflmao!!! Jeez. I tot I was the only one that cringed at lovemaking scenes. Especially Nigerian ones. What is it about Nigerians and sex???? why are we so taboo about it??? Maybe that should be your next radio show topic.
Anyone know where i can watch this movie online? Or better yet, just the sex scenes?
Its just for academic purposes.. to compare nigerian and ghanian lovemaking.. for my next blog post, and not for personal pleasure. Honest!
hehehehhe
LMAO
LWKM
Jeezzzz men….that was funny!!!
lol..like others i am curious to know wat ur mum said during or afterward…
ooh loving the new look! Have been looking for a new template to no avail. =(
Anyway, borrow me that film, nah!
just saw ure pic from a wedding website and u are gorgeous…you should put ure pics up…
Alright, I just took forever typing up personalized responses for everyone. I walked away for a minute (alright fine, maybe an hour), and before I came back, my laptop had "installed updates" and "shut down" without my permission. What rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I am now too tired to start replying everyone one by one again. Anyone that replies after this will get a personalized response. Sorry for the ehm…. whatever we're gonna call this.. but it's the darn laptop's fault!
Oh, but I have to say something to Anonymous. You saw my picture where?????? Come oh…. don't be too sure. You sure say na me you see?? That said, you don't need to paste the link here oooo lol. We can continue this conversation privately, if you wish. vera@verastic.com
I didn't enjoy the movie but they tried in their sex scenes.
x
I'm glad you watched that movie…its soo nice. of course I'm ghanaian so i'm bias, but still..it was 🙂
lol!! that is so hilarious.
One Naija movie that the sex scene left me shocked with my mouth wide open was that of Prostitute by Omotola Ekehinde and Segun Arinze.
Love-making bits in movies always embarrasses me when elderly people are watching the same movie with me.
Oh me God! I acyuallycame back to read your response to my comment. Oyaquick quick respond now!
hey, how did you get the DVD? I kind of want to see this movie now. By the way, I love your blog!
Oh my gosh! i know this is way late, but i finally saw this movie,whooo, thank goodness i did not watch it w/ my mom and dad…talk about awkward…lol