Well, not yet, but almost.
In case you haven’t heard, I and eight wonderful female bloggers now run a collaborative blog. It’s called The African Women. What better name for all nine of us – Me, Shona Vixen, Temite, Afrobabe, Tigeress, Ms. Sula, Buttercup, WordSmith, and Good Naija Girl? We will be discussing things as it relates to us – African women (and men, of course). Rumor has it that there is even a post coming up about married women and oral sex. Before you start protesting, I am not the one who is responsible for it this time. You’ll just have to watch and see.
Oh, I know what you’re wondering, “What is the nice, sweet, innocent Vera doing with these deviant people?” What can I say? I’m someone who tries to be friends with everyone – yes, even people like Afrobabe. LOL. I have been made to understand that she is dangerously in love with me, and my presence turns her on, but I will try as much as possible to stop that from happening. Although, I must admit it will be an uphill climb seeing as she’s so undeniably hot for me. But anyway…
There is just one twist here. I will be losing a bit of my anonymity *sigh* No, I won’t be showing my face. I will, however, be doing audio posts. Writing posts for Verastic Dot Com is strenuous enough, so I will not be taking up anymore writing commitments. Instead, I will do something I’ve always wanted to do: audio posts!! I’ll probably introduce audio posts here some time in the future. Considering Original Mgbeke’s comment, I should stress that I will not be speaking any phonetics, biko! I am very, very, VERY Nigerian ooo. There will be no smii-smii or sumpidi sumpidi sumpidi (sound effects of phonetics) coming from me, so biko, expect a very Naija babe oh. Mgbeke, mind ya sef!
My Verastic voice will debut on Saturday, April 18th. I’m supposed to be talking about something related to women…obviously. As I type this right now, I haven’t got a clue what I will be talking about. If you’re thinking about suggesting oral sex, then I’ll have to say, “No, thanks!” I am now known as the oral sex girl. For someone who isn’t getting any, I have to say I’m getting a lot of publicity on this issue. It’s all good. No publicity is bad publicity, right? Well, I sure do hope so. But something tells me my mother will faint if she visits this blog. And if my Deeper Life aunt visits it… oh boy! Forgerrabourrit. Anyway, back to the issue… I don’t know what to talk about. Ideas are welcome.
Speaking of ideas, The African Women (Yes, all nine of us) will be taking questions from you, so please, feel free to send your questions – anonymously even, if you want. The email is theafricanwomen@googlegroups.com I doubt if all nine of us will answer each question. Perhaps, we’ll pick and choose which question(s) to answer… unless you want a particular blogger to answer it. Example, if you want WordSmith to answer your question, please specify. Perhaps, you could put “Attention WordSmith” in the subject?
Let me make a few clarifications:
1. No, The African Women blog is not made of “predominantly single agony aunties” as Roc Naija said. By the way, Roc… I hope you have received the very hot slap I packaged to you via express mail? lol
…Okay, so it was just one clarification. Well, whatever.
Anyway, see you on Monday. I’ll have an interesting post coming up. Well, I hope you find it interesting. In the mean time, don’t forget to give me ideas on what to talk about… or else… I won’t be talking. Oh, and if you don’t like my voice, keep it to yourself. lol. See ya!
** Don’t forget to give me ideas for my audio post. You can leave a comment here or send me a private mail – vera@verastic.com
** Please pray that I don’t burn the pot of Egusi soup on fire. Sleep is kind of catching me. History has shown that I burn food when I’m sleepy… or blogging.
The African Women – http://theafricanwomen.blogspot.com Blog roll us…and your life will never be the same. A trial will convince you. 🙂 LOL.
God, this sleep is too much. Get thee behind me, satan! I shall not fall asleep. I must stay awake to proclaim the goodness of my unburnt soup.
***Update***
The soup is well, alive… and obviously not burnt. Shall we dine?
Furssssssssssssssssst!
second!Pity we cant have any of d sup!anon555
Wooohoooo, in yo face Bumight and co.
I go dey wait for this African women debut o.
Vera, so we go dey hear your ‘schwi schwi phonetics on April 18th ehn? Okay oooo…
And that ya egusi no even jelox me because I have mine waiting for me in the fridge. :-p
Cant wait!!!!i have egzams i shall tell bumtight to save space for me on the comment space!
fifth!!
That soup looks delicious! I am so looking forward to the African women blog!…on my blog roll now it goes! And my life better never be the same oh!
x!
Gosh i am hungry. and who are u calling defiyant, oh how u oyinbo people call am. Me I am a shild of God o. nonsense. I am HUNGRY!
the soup is on fire!
Original Mgbeke: Congrats on being first oh. I don’t know how Bumight will feel about this though.
Anonymous555: You can have some of the soup oh. If you stop over RIGHT NOW, I’ll give you some, I promise. But it has to be RIGHT NOW oh! LOL.
Original Mgbeke: Bia dis gal, I will not be speaking any schwi schwi oo! Hapucha ifa jo. I will be speaking proper asusu bekee nke Nigeria. So expect to hear that. 🙂 Oh, and my soup is better than yours. Best believe that.
Tinu: Goodluck on your exams, dear. So Bumight is now the comment space saver ehn? LOL.
Bob-IJ: Why are you putting pressure on me? LOL. Okay, I realize you’re only repeating what I said, but still! Anyway, you want some soup? Nne, come and eat.
Temite: Baby mi. Eat now! What is stopping you? Oya come on over, lemme feed you small. You know that you and the rest of “them” are deviant. I’m the only normal, sane one among us. I thank God for that.
Omo Oba: LOL. How is it doing you? You want some? **raising eye brows ** Just say da word!
I’m tired of vera.. if she notempt me with sex..Na food again. Psssssshhhh.
So shall we commence reading???? yippie!! I am going to try and be very excited as I have to STUDY! u hediots!!! of all times to TAKE OFF rubbishhhhhhhhhh and Ingredientsssssss…. anyhow sha… that egusi doesn’t look so sexy why is the colour like that??? lol even with the colour I want!!! I need a chef in this trying times!!!
p.s. I am burntttttttttttt
hehehe! let afro catch u..
kai, that soup looks mouth-watering..
that soup makes me wanna make some eba……….
look forward to hearing your none phonetics voice….
happy easter!!!!!!!!!
Hissssssssss……You madam were the instigator of oral sex….
did Roc call us single agony aunts?? If the slap has not reached him I need to send it since I am closer….will even act lke a lust lost fan and meet up with him to deliver it personally…
Well people I will be there to give it a twist of naughtiness…nothing goody shoes about me…lol..not even when I fast..
I want soup!!!
The collabo sounds lyk fun,cnt wait….
What kinda soup is that?
don’t burn the Easter rice too.
Did RocNaija actually say that? He must’ve been echoing my thoughts…Anyway guys should not sit down and take a one sided view on things where are the single men come agony uncles at? lol
Re: your life will never be the same. A trial will convince you…”
reminds me of ads in Naija
You’re going to be the boss of an empire one day 🙂 mark my words.
How are you Vera?
Gosh i cnt wait…dis is a topic i’m passionate bout too
mmm mm that soup look delicious. we can’t wait for you guyz to start..
lol.. re you will not be talking any “smii-smii or sumpidi sumpidi sumpidi”
congratulations on your collaboration. I look forward to it. And well done for not burning the soup. You are just about about ready to be a chef oh. 🙂
Have a wonderful Easter. Much Love
Craze woman! See ya mouth, calling a whole Afro deviant ehn?
LMAO @ the slap 4 ROC via express mail.
I know you have a very nice voice, so i’m not worried. Can’t wait to hear what you have to say, so y’all should hurry up!
Infact i must go to market tomorrow and cook my own egusi! See you doing longathroat 4 me with dis tantalizing pissure!
AfricanWomen already blog rolled…
…considering that i have had nothing to eat today, that pic has caused some damages
…off to Magaret’s i go
Nice!
That na egusi soup shebi?
Lmao…
I must admit I saw the slap.. Had to use all my ‘matrix’ skills to dodge it.. a la Keanu Reeves
Thanks Dabizniz..
The ladies ganging up on a helples bruva..
Cant wait for the African women launch..sounds interesting..ps why is it that whenever I come by your page I leave craving Naija food???
This is why I like blogsville ehn, there’s always something to look forward to…he he! 🙂
PS: You need to try and restrain urself from posting pictures of food and making me hungry. Thanks.
sounds cool!!! esp the audio feed concept will look out for it cuz am sure it will be hot!! the egusi soup is looking rather delicious, (gulp)
vera na egusi soup b da..4 real na egusi soup?????? abeg make una ask her well…luk like sum indian cuisine..lol
Ms Spicey Tee: I don make you fall in love with me abi? Oya, come & eat now. What is stopping you?
Miss Love: Ah, this babe, you have insulted me. U said my beaurriful egusi soup is not sexy? My tanned egusi soup? Well, forget it. No soup 4 you!! LOL. Anyhoo, look forward to The African Women. We hope we can make you proud. And ehm, who burnt you?
Buttercup: You want? Stop watering your mouth and come on over for a plate.
Ibiluv: Oya, go & make some eba sharp sharp. I will supply the soup 4 u. I'm equally looking forward to you hearing my none phonetic voice.
Afrobabe: Yes, please, help me deliver the slap personally to him. He deserves it and much more. But make sure na only slap you go dey give am oh. I no trust two of you together. Bring your naughtiness on. We r ready – I hope.
My World: Yes, indeed. The collabo will be fun indeed. Oya bring your plate lemme give you soup. 🙂
Ladi: It's egusi soup. Never heard?
Webround: Me, burn the Easter rice? Haba. I fittn't now! Unless of course sleep catches me… or I start blogging. Hmmm. LOL.
Dabizniz: LOL. Haha. So Roc echoed your thots ehn? Walahi two of you would be just fine. The thing wey dey do una ehn…!
Webround: That's what I was thinking about when I wrote that. Hehehe.
Mimi: AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Consider your words marked. Walahi, they have been marked. I'm doing great, my dear. How are you?
Juicegal: Awww, thanks darling. I hope you like it. I hope we meet your expectations.
BSNC: U want some soup?? I'll share with you. I'm glad you're excited about The African Women. We're excited too! 🙂
Remi: My dear, I just don't want people to be disappointed when they hear my voice now! LOL. There really won't be smii smii or sumpidi sumpidi sumpidi. Just plain ol' Naija English. Happy Easter to you too, baby.
Mizchif: U may cook your own egusi, but will it be half as good as mine? That is the question of the day. LOL. So you've been fantasizing about my voice ehn? U've been hearing my voice with corner corner ears of love? Ka Chineke mezi okwu. Roc will definitely be receiving that hot slap soon.
Baroque: Is "Margaret" the name of a person or place? Well, I realize it could be both, but in the context of your sentence, I need an explanation! lol. Needless to say, you don't even need to go to Margaret's; I'm willing to share my soup oo. Just bring your own pounded yam (or whatever u wanna have with it).
Solomon Sydelle: Thanks. And yes, that's egusi soup.
Roc Naija: lol. Oh, so you now consider yourself helpless ehn? When you were calling us predominantly single agony ladies, you no know say you dey helpless? Since Matrix helped you dodge that hot slap, I'll be sending a hotter one, this time it'll be overnight delivery. And nothing can help you dodge it – not even Jackie Chan moves.
Tay-Mee: LOL @ craving Naija food every time you come here. My dear, it's not my fault now…ehn. I just wannt e-invite y'll to come eat with me. I'm tryna share. Hehehe.
Jaycee: I will do no such thing! I will not restrain myself oo. I musto post pictures of food. Whenever you're hungry, just call me. I'll cook something up for you. You're not even too far away from me sef.
Culture Cynic: Hahaha. I feel like I just heard that gulp. Nne, no need to gulp. Just come and get some. I'll make pounded yam 4 u and give you cold water to 'daliquate' the food very well.
My Own Thing: Nope! Not an Indian cuisine, but you can eat it with your hands too. 🙂 In short, why don't you just come & taste it and see 4 yourself?
Nice looking soup! Nice to meet you all, African women
I cannot believe I am still waiting for yaaaa to col me. Anyways am on vac now will be back in a few weeks, u hear! lol
nice looking soup.
“the African women”..sounds interesting. looking fwd to that. headphones on during studio tyme !!! great lol
Why r u posing with ur mums cooking? you know say the day wey u cook for me, na like say na filtration process dey happen for my plate. water separate himself from oil, same goes for pepper, vegetable, egusi, etc etc.the thing no gel like this one.
abi u have finally taken to ur mums advice of being able to make bitter leaf soup and others for ur husband. u must be a fast learner.
vera u know u r my two in a million. lol
I’m very eager to see what u guys have up ur sleeves. I can’t believe u found a way to slot in Oral sex in this post again… u need deliverance o, u dis woman. y will u not be speaking phone? Me I want to hear phone o! preferably british mixed with igbo…lol
eeeemmmm..thats looks real tastey! Na u cook am?
U wan kill us? chai, na the soup I see first.. make i go chop comeback b4 i read about this gathering of the very strong women!!!
I spotted a typo in part of your post:
“What is the nice, sweet, innocent Vera doing with these deviant people?”
should be
“What is the nice, sweet, innocent Good Naija Girl doing with these deviant people (yes, myself included)?”
Anyway, innocent mistake. Kindly correct it please.
That soup looks very tasty!
Painfully..This isnt too nice on a day when you kno your missin 9ja so bad for this kind of sumptous egusi..haba! why now…Now,my tongue is all so wet and wantin for a taste on that! argh..
Have a blissful easter celebs…
Poetically Tinted: Nice to meet you too! Now come on over and have some soup on the house. Hehe
Temmy Tayo: You're on vac to where?????? How dare you leave without telling me? In my defense, every time I've wanted to call you, it's been late. No, honestly, by the time I'm ready to call it's 10 PM over there and I don't want to call you that late. Did you say you'll be back in a few weeks? Nne, which kin vac you go na?
Nice Anon: Awwww. Thanks. Want some?
The Paradigm: LOL. Hahaha. So you want to have an intimate moment with my voice ehn? You want my voice to tantalize you? 🙂
ChiefO: You're a mad man! U want to come and spoil my good name abi? Nonsense & ingredients. Don't even talk 2 me sef. Two in a million ko *rolling eyes*
Neffie: Hahahahaha. Britsh + Igbo ke? Chei! dis babe, you want to ruin my credentials. As 4 the oral sex thingy, I only put it there 4 ur sake ooo. I just wanted to entertain you, that's all
Tigeress: Na me oh! Walahi… I did it all by myself. U wan chop?
Ochuko: LOL. I have that effect on you ehn? Hehehe. Oya make you go chop belleful.
Good Naija Girl: Hahahahaha. Innocent mistake ehn? Who told you that? Haha. Dis babe, I don't even know what to do with you. You want me to call myself deviant? Fine, innocent, correct chic like me? Kai. No oh! That in itself would be deviant.
Lumidee: Look, just come and chop the soup oh. No need for your mouth to be watering like that. I’ll kindly share, you know. Hehe. Have a very wonderful Easter too! I hope you tongue doesn’t fall off before Monday.
Can’t totally wait for the audio blog thing…..
i expect craziness babes… yes, i know u are kolo.
Egusi soup? *hisses* plss cook me some correct yam n vegetable ( dat food we talked about now, plsss plsss) even if i get d recipe it will come out the Yoruba way…lol
or better still MR _-_-_-, ARE U WILLING TO OFFER UR COOKING SERVICES????
Audio posts sounds cool! Happy New Year, Vera!
Okay, Vera you know we african women are anxiously waitng by now lol
Why did you put up that picture? I feel hungry… thanks to you.
lol @ intimate moment with your voice, !!! you would be fine lol other options are around oh so you better not act up Missy !!!
Hope the egusi stew tastes as good as it looks.
Ichoro onye iga eji ofe ado akpiri. Biko gawa gi oh.lol
am looking forward to this ……..
Veraline, a good idea will be to address with your non-phonetic voice how those career african women in naija cope with work and family. Especially the bankers…
Make una njoi the collaboration of bloggers, abi we no go need to visit verastic again for writen posts?
We are so looking forward to Africa Women’s posts. There are so much you can talk about for your own intiative, I tell you there so much to women that made us great!
Funmie: Babe, I don’t know which Mr. you’re referring to in that your comment, but if you’re referring to the Mr. I think you’re referring to, then I OBJECT!!
Eagle’s Nest: Thanks!! Happy New Year to you too. Wait, it’s April. Happy Easter.
Joicee: If you’re hungry, then why don’t come on over and have some soup? Although it’s almost finished @ this point, but I’m sure I could squeeze you in. 🙂
The Paradigm: Yeah, way to take the pressure off. LOL. I’ll try not to act up. Goodness, I’m nervous already sef.
Kay-Shawn: It tastes better than it looks sef. A trial will convince you. LOL.
Nice Anon: LOL. Mbanu!! How can you accuse me of such? You know enwero’m obi to do that kind of thing to you. Hehehe.
Sweet Nothin: I’m glad you are. I hope we don’t disappoint you.
Fanny: That’s a pretty good idea oo. I hear that the career women in Nigeria (Lagos to be precise) have to spend like several hours in traffic. And there are so many other issues (with raising kids et al). And yes oh, you will always need to visit verastic for written posts. Yes, ke!
Standtall: I trust you na! I trust you to always find the greatness in us all. How you dey, my love?