Igwe discovered a show, Polygamy, USA on National Geographic, and it had both of us shocked. This show is about a community of Mormons who live in Centennial Park, Utah. They split from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS Church, also known as Mormon Fundamentalists). There is a bigger story to this FLDS stuff, but I don’t feel like researching that much into.
Family of The Thomsons: Isaiah and his two wives, Marlene and Becka, and their five children
This show is a reality TV and documentary type show. The short part of the story is that this is a polygamist community where the men have at least two wives. The interesting part is how this polygamy works. I’ll give you some examples:
1. The men don’t choose wives; wives choose them. So basically, a single woman decides who she wants to marry.
2. But technically, she doesn’t decide. She waits until God puts an impression on her heart and tells her that Tom, Dick, or Harry is her husband.
3. Tom, Dick, or Harry could be of any marital status: single or married
4. Tom, Dick, or Harry could also be of any age. He could be a grand father for all she knows.
5. Single men are not allowed to date or have sex.
6. The single women pray to God for an impression of their future husband. If they get an impression before they are 18, they have to wait till they are 18 to get married.
7. One of the founding fathers, Arthur, 64 spends time with over 30 young and unmarried men. The boys do a lot of physical labor, and this is all done to make them stronger, tougher, and more ready for the future.
8. Obviously, some people choose not to stay in Centennial Park, and they choose to live their own lives where they date, have relationships, etc.
9. These people practice polygamy in the name of God, and they also pray in the name of God (and Jesus).
10. There is a group of men called “The Brethren,” and they are like the Elders and Lawmakers of the community. For example, when a girl gets an impression from God, she goes to “The Brethren”
I find it very interesting that women do the choosing here. However, the irony is that in spite of her choosing her husband, this marital arrangement and way of life does not at all favor the woman. I mean, she chooses the husband, they get married, she bears as many children as her body can push out, and she remains his only wife until another woman gets an impression from God to marry him. She dresses only in long skirts and long sleeve blouses, which an outsider immediately notices. The man, however, is dressed like a regular man.
If a woman does not get an impression and she begins to get worried, she can seek help. She’ll just have to go see The Brethren because they have a direct line to God. That’s the belief. This community believes that being in a plural marriage is God’s will and our their way to say thank You to God.
I find it interesting that they believe that one of the beauties of a polygamous marriage is that if one of the wives cannot have a baby, then it wouldn’t be too bad because her sister wife will have a baby and she can take care of him/her. Excuse me??? I’m thinking that the only thing worse than not having a baby is having a sister wife who has a baby. Screw that. I’ll kill them both … and the husband who even dares to make me a sister wife. Tufia kwa. God forbid bad thing.
I do find it interesting though that it is illegal to have a polygamous marriage in America, so because of this, only the first wife is legally married to the man. The rest are basically baby mamas in the eyes of the law. Yet, there are fights and protests to make homosexual marriages legal. Is that because there aren’t enough polygamous families to make a big stand like the LGBT community? Or is that because gay love is less of a taboo than polygamous love? Oh, the irony.
There are many reasons why this kind of polygamous marriage cannot and will not work in Nigeria, but this post has become too long, so watch out for Part II.
P.S. Please understand that I am, by no means, a supporter of polygamous marriage. To each his own, but I am not interested.
This is not the only polygamous marriage group in the US that I have heard of. I have heard of at least two other their names escape me but one of them came to light because one of the girls escaped to the outside world they were being married off as young as 14 or something like that. Like you said to each his own whatever rocks their boat
Oh and they were also a “christian” religious sect….more like a cult if you ask me
I agree that it’s more like a cult. God cannot be that complicated.
Yeah, I’ve heard of others, too. For example, I have heard of that other guy that is currently sitting in jail right now. Can’t remember his name. Oh, well. Whatever works for them.
Vera, you make it seem like it’s something new under the sun! It works for them. I know it’s easy to criticize unfamiliar things but really I’ve learnt to take a step back and view things within the context of where and how it’s happening. I remember when Hezbollah orchestrated the marriage of several women, people in the western world were like wow that’s so bad. However, it was the women that made the requests, they were the ones who mostly wanted to get married and were not finding husbands. Within their socio-religious context, that Hezbollah initiative was beneficial to the women.
We should at least thank God that these Mormons wait till the girls are 18. In a sense, are they not better than inner-city kids that get pregnant at 13?
Manny, it wasn’t really a criticism though. I was only trying to state what I watched and the difference between that and the polygamy in Nigeria. I do believe, however, that it is a repressive community to women. *shrugs*
Vera, you just broke my heart. Is it because of Igwe? Are you not my sister wife again? Biting my fingers here, LOL…
It works for them so… and BTW, happens all the time in naija too.
Myne, hahaha. No, don’t be heart broken oh. It will still happen for us — but only with Atala, not with Igwe. Lol. I know it happens in Nigeria, but it was surprising for me to see it in the great U.S. of A, considering all the enlightenment.