Top 10 Things I Want To Do After Social Distancing

Last week, our Governor, Larry Hogan announced that Maryland can ease up a little bit on the social-distancing, which is nice, but I’m still only leaving the house on a need-to basis. According to the announcement, Maryland has seen a small decline in the number of hospitalizations in the past two weeks. But what I’m reading in between the lines is, we have more hospital beds, so go ahead and fall sick. Nope. I’m staying my cute butt at home, and I’m keeping Ada Verastic’s cuter butt at home with me too.

All that being said, I do have a list of things I plan on doing after social-distancing is over. I want to say that these are things I want to do after COVID-19, but the way this virus is set up, I don’t even know what a post COVID-19 life would look like. Will it even ever exist?

So, in no particular order, here are the top 10 things I want to do after social distancing is over.

1.  Have dinner with my friends where there will be lots of hugs and ruckus, pee-inducing laughter. My friends and I have taken hanging out in-person for granted, so now that we have not been able to do it, we cannot wait to gather and talk nonsense over food.

2.  Take Ada Verastic somewhere nice. I don’t even know what this would look like exactly, but my baby has been mostly stuck at home, except for when we take walks around the neighborhood. I want to give her new experiences, and I have some things in my mind, but nothing has been concluded.

3.  Travel. Let me tell you the kind of traveler I am. I am the girl who does not really enjoy the actual commute, but who would rather just teleport from one place to the next. The fun part of travel for me is the planning and the activities when I get to the destination.  Now that there’s a travel ban, however, I’m finding myself craving the commute. 

4.  Brazillian wax. Why? Because I have never done it. Simple. Years ago, I started going to Ideal Image Hair Removal to remove the hair in my ehm, special place through laser treatment, but I did not complete those treatments because I got pregnant and stopped going. The plan was to return after having Ada Verastic, but I never went back. I’m not looking forward to the pain of a brazillian wax, but I’m looking forward to the result. If you hear the deafening screams of someone shouting, “Chi’m ooo!” it might be me.

5.  Nkwobi. Listen, I cannot stress this enough, but I need my nkwobi fix. The DMV area is heavily populated with Nigerians, but I don’t know anywhere that serves great nkwobi. I won’t say that it doesn’t exist, but that I don’t know where it is. For now, the only place I get great nkwobi is about a two and half hours plane ride away: Houston. So, yeah, this COVID-19 needs to go away already.

6.  A full body massage and a facial. Please, I’m using church mind here. I’m talking about the facial that you get at the massage salon. Any other kind of facial is strictly prohibited and subject to a very dirty slap. Ehen, but it’s been a while I got a massage, and I have never, ever gotten a facial, so I’d really like to get this done.

7.  Visit family and friends. There are friends that I need to have dinner with, and there are friends that I need to visit at home. Some friends fall into both categories. Some friends are close, and some are farther away, and I’m looking forward to seeing them all.

8.  Game night with my friends.  Not to be confused with dinner with my friends. And not to be confused with visiting my friends either. It’s been a long time since we last got together in someone’s house to do game night, so once the coast is clear, I’ll set this up.

9.  Hangout with my family. This one is a little different because I live with my family, so I see them every day, in spite of the social distancing in place, but we haven’t gone out as a family in a long time, especially with my grandma. She’s 84 after all, so we have to keep her extra safe.

10.  Eating egusi soup from Funmie. Sweet Potatoes, Funmie owes me some hot, spicy egusi soup with goat meat, dry fish, and none of those little stinky things. I did something for her some months ago, and egusi soup is my preferred method of payment. I won’t demand it right now because things are not ideal, but once we return to normal – or to a new normal – I’m coming for my soup.

BONUS: Vaginal steaming. This is the one I’m entirely unsure of. Some people say vaginal steaming is unsafe, and some people say that it makes no difference. Those who say it works say that it helps with postpartum healing, infertility, and relieving painful and uncomfortable period symptoms (like cramps, bloating, etc) – and I don’t have any of these issues. So, for me, I’m just curious about what vaginal steaming feels like. Don’t ask me why I’m curious about it, please.  Just let me steam my vagina in peace.

What are you planning on doing once social distancing is over?