Long before America made gay marriage legal across the country, Nigerians have always detested the entire concept of same-sex marriage and sex, and have always looked at America suspiciously for allowing it. It’s not as if America is the only country where gay people exist, and even within Nigeria itself, there are gay people, but Nigerians do not wear it like a badge of honor because it is in fact a detestable thing. How can a man be attracted to a fellow man? But there are many valid reasons why Nigerians detest and should continue to detest homosexuality. Below are 9 valid reasons:
1. We are a religious people: We may not all serve the same God, but we all believe in a higher power that is our own version of God. Because of the reverential fear of God that is innate to us, we cannot condone an abomination and abnormality such as homosexuality. We may fight and kill ourselves over whose God is biggest and baddest, but one thing all the gods believe in is that homosexuality is a perversion.
2. Of all sins, this is the greatest: Sure, there is murder, rape, theft, and all sorts, but none of these come close to homosexuality. Homosexuality is a sin against ones’s own body, spirit, and soul. All the other sins are more tolerable. And not to mention, also normal.
3. We’d rather die by Boko Haram: What people of the world do not understand is that being killed by a terrorist’s bomb is a much better fate than being gay or living among gay people because being gay is a defilement, an abnormality, a perversion. Did we already mention that?
4. Child brides are not half as bad as people make them sound: These Western people, they want to take over our country and our culture and tell us what to do and instill their wicked ways in us. Nigerian men have been marrying and raping children since the beginning of time, and it’s not so terrible because (a) The child bride wants it anyway, (b) Her parents stand to gain a lot from the deal (c) Our culture permits and encourages it, and (d) Our God even allows it.
5. Homosexuality is a spiritual attack, but attacking your enemies with juju is perfectly normal: Some may argue that a nation like Nigeria with so many diabolical practices should not be one to call homosexuality a spiritual attack and a demonic possession, considering that juju (black magic) is what we have for dessert and the juju house is where we go for outing, but you see, these two things are mutually exclusive and comparing the demon spirit of homosexuality to the norm that is juju is like comparing apples to oranges. Juju is simply a way to protect and fortify yourself, and if that means turning a few enemies mad in the process, then so be it. It is self preservation. Homosexuality, on the other hand, happens when demons possess a person and begins to make them do unthinkable, abominable things. Why would a man want to sleep with a fellow man when he can just marry a woman and sleep with all the remaining women he is not married to?
6. Every criminal should get jail term, as long as the crime is homosexuality: Publicly displaying homosexual acts and feelings is punishable by 14 years in jail because displaying these vile affections is a way of damaging our children’s moral compass and confusing them about what is right and wrong. We do not want our children to be raised in such an environment.
7. Speaking of children, we would really rather damage our children ourselves: Thankfully, we already have so many creative ways of doing this. For example, we would like to spend thousands on educating our children, so that when they finally graduate from University, they won’t be able to find jobs and would have to turn to armed robbery as a means of survival. We would like to praise our sons for losing their 16 year old virginity to the 25-year old house help, and in the same breath, we would disown and shame our daughters for seducing the 30-year old male help and causing them disvirgin their 10 year old bodies. Through the way we treat our wives, we would also like to teach our sons about the total worthlessness and uselessness of women, and we would like to train our daughters to strive only to become a man’s wife because nothing they do in life will matter until they become Mrs. Somebody.
8. Amenities are nice but not the most important: Sure, good driveable roads and constant electricity sound nice, but what are they worth compared to a nation that is free of sexual deviants? We would rather have bad roads that eventually lead to our death, than allow two consenting adults decide where they want to stick their penises. There’s just no room to tolerate such nonsense.
9. Our top priority in Nigeria is to not allow homosexuality penetrate our divine culture: Sure, we have corrupt leaders, cultural wars, a non existent middle class, broken infrastructure, low employment rate, high crime rate, counterfeit spiritual leaders, rapists and murderers who pose as parents and relatives, a culture that is repressive and oppressive to women, a thriving terrorist group (they even hand out colorful flyers to announce their upcoming attacks … business is good!), watered down currency, highest paid leaders who do the least amount of work, ineffective and wasteful management of natural resources, zero accountability for anything, a porous border that allows our enemies to literally stroll in, electricity that does not work most times, hospitals and healthcare workers that do not pledge to do no harm, a weak police force, and of course, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, and thieves. But we draw the line at homosexuality. We will NOT tolerate that.
For these reasons and more that I cannot possibly think of right now, I am in support of Nigeria carrying on as we always have: blindly. But just to be clear, I am not in support of gay marriages. You will not catch me at their rallies, I will not fly the rainbow flag in solidarity, and I will never, ever tell my children that it is perfectly okay to be gay and that God actually does not mind. However, I am less concerned about homosexuality and more concerned about the endless list of problems we have in Nigeria. I wish our leaders would do the same, too. I am not the gay police, and I will not go around figuring out who is gay and trying to get them imprisoned or abused.
As a Christian, I am taught that I should be inclusive of everyone, even people who are not like me. Unfortunately, often times, we do the exact opposite. We do not want to associate with people who sin different from us, and we have the perfect bible verse to back up our actions: we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. But if Jesus who was without sin could be friends with prostitutes and tax collectors, then who am I to do otherwise? I have no ground to stand on. I, myself, I live only by His grace, and I am desperate need of His mercy.