I came across this picture on Facebook yesterday. Apparently, the story behind it is that he caught his wife in bed with another man, and so, to punish her, he had her walk around the town naked. I believe it was a man who posted the picture because in its inscription, he wanted to know what women would say of it, now that the tables had turned (the cheat is a woman, instead of a man).
Many people – male and female – condoned what this husband did, saying that the woman is a disgrace to womanhood (whatever the hell that might be these days), and saying that she got what she deserved. See, I do not in any shape or form condone adultery, no matter who is doing it. But I tend to believe that when you are married, your spouse’s shame is your shame, too. In other words, parading his wife around town naked is as much a shame to her as it is to him.
We all have our deal breakers. For me, infidelity ranks high on that list. I’d rather you just leave me, tell me whatever lie you want as your reason for leaving, but please, don’t cheat on me. I know I have no right to say that I will not forgive this transgression – considering that I am a sinner myself, and everyday, I ask God to forgive me for the sins I keep doing over and over – but I am not God. Yes, I also know that in the eyes of God, this is not a valid argument. I should, after all, aspire to be like Him.
This husband is probably hurt in more ways than I can understand. His feelings are hurt. His pride is hurt. To find another man nestled deep inside your wife’s most sacred part, it has to hurt like hell, but when you let everyone else see what should be for your eyes only, does it really make it better? I know, I know. The thing is already clearly being seen by others (or at least one other man). But still.
By the way, I do not feel the way I feel because the culprit in this case is a woman. I would not support a man being walked around naked because he cheated. But then again, that’s probably not even an option, especially in a patriarchal nation like Nigeria. Of course, my views may change if said man is a hottie and I have been itching to see him less clothed.
All in all, I pray that we never have to feel the pain of being cheated on. And I pray we never have to face the shame of walking around naked for cheating.
P.S. The original picture was not censored. I had to put the black tape over her lady parts because there shall be no complete nudity on this site.
P.P.S. Considering that many women have gone the route of cutting the penis of the cheating man off, it is safe to say that being walked around naked is a much better – and less dead – option. No?
Anyway, what do you think of this man’s actions? Yay or nay?
I am not in support of it. It’s like burning a thief to death. It’s the kind of jungle justice we operate in Naija.
Not nice at all, disgusting!!!!
Vicky,
I agree! It’s definitely jungle justice, and yeah, I feel the same way about burning thieves to death.
I’m so angry, what she did does not matter anymore after seeing this. The husband must deserve it if he thinks that was the best way to handle it. It shows how stupid, ignorant and, controlling he is. I can’t believe she is walking hand in hand with him. He would have to carry me to get me outside naked (shame must have taken over her brain). Why can’t he drag the man down the road too? I can’t stand African men that think they have power over women. Don’t get me started..lol.. It’s obviously a man world…btw, I don’t agree with cheating for either party and if you have to then get a divorce.
Clearly, in this marriage, he holds all the cards. So it musto really pained him that another man came and took a bite out of his food. Meanwhile, the woman is clearly humiliated. As in! His punishment has definitely passed the crime committed. I know people don’t like to hear it, but sometimes, divorce is an option.
what crap! the woman must have been coerced to walk docilely behind him with the threat of some spiritual repercussion.
I don’t think it’s Nigeria though – look at the vehicle plates
Hmmm. I didn’t even notice the plates. The picture was reported as being in Nigeria, but maybe it’s not Nigeria. I can totally see how she might have been threatened with some spiritual repercussion. You know you can always get us (Nigerians/Africans) with that.
saw the picture too and i was shocked…love has turned into something else. i wonder what will be of their marriage after
http://ironyofashi.blogspot.com/
I wonder too. From the way he’s parading her around town, there may not be a marriage after this. I almost hope that that would be the case because this is just too much humiliation.
Definitely going too far. I can think of so many ways to deal with something like this.
Pray, do tell. What are some ways to deal with it?
Divorce, separation, sending her home. Anything but parading her naked in the streets.
Yeah. I know. That would be the dignified thing to do.
This chap clearly does not love his wife, which is probably why she’s cheating in the first place. His hate parade is equivalent to physical stoning- I can’t imagine what this has done to her psyche. Both clearly need to see Dr. Phil or some psychia…
LOL @ needing Dr. Phil. It’s hard to tell what compelled this man to do what he did, but one thing is certain, we need to change our orientation toward marriage.
I totally disagree with his approach and decision, but I see a bigger problem in our society today. And that is the gender divide and churvenists outlook to everything. Though I am not expecting a change, but why do we always have to view things from “you men cheat too any way”. if we are not mindful, we may be teaching our kids less values. Who ever is asking why men seem to be condoned and women not, is like asking God, why men grow Adams apple and women don’t?
Men don’t carry babies and women do. So a men will only have an illegitimate child outside wedlock and not bring his wife another woman’s child to raise, but a cheating wife will. Note: Diseases are man made. Stop questioning God. and if you go on my blog, you will see the write up, ” women who kill”. God bless us all.
Dotun, I was with you in the first paragraph, but the second one confuses me.
i agree with Nneka totally…
Me, too. There cannot be love here.
Wow, its a pic from Cameroon… But its bad sha… Never never treat anyone like an animal. He’s already bloodied her nose.. Sad
Oh, Cameroon, I see. I already gave the credit to Nigeria lol. But either way sha, it’s definitely horrible. It’s no way to treat a person, your spouse especially.
Wow when you think you’ve seen it all. Isn’t he also embarrassed that everyone is seeing his own private affair…..literally? I can’t even rationalize such ignorant behavior. Yes what his wife did was bad but damn…..this is taking punishment to another level.
Adebeke, I completely agree. His punishment has gone past the committed crime. And considering this punishment, one cannot help but wonder if his personality/character encouraged his wife to cheat. Well, whatever the case may be, I hope they both find what they are looking for.
It’s complicated. It has no specific solution or a particular step to take but it base on personal decision. Many may divorce, many may forgive, many may render her useless and many may even kill her or go after the man, while others may do otherwise.
This is true. Human brings are unpredictable when their backs are against the wall.
the story is horrible,but the man may have his reasons because it hurt.pray u dont be a victim
Ah that’s Cameroon o! And not just Cameroon, but Douala, if the partial number plate is anything to go by. Sadly this happens a lot here, I have actually witnessed it before – these men are encouraged even by other women to parade their wives naked! Unfortunately it is no deterrent to adultery, as the abuse they face physically, emotionally and mentally means they are often starved of love and ready to go to almost any lengths to have it – in fact, in the cases I have heard of, after such a parade the woman completely lost any sense of shame and her adulterous flings were thereafter openly flaunted!
Loool. Well, talk about a diminishing return. I think it’s so mean to parade anyone naked, especially your spouse. And to think that the parading only makes matters worse. Lol. I guess at that point, the woman feels like, hey what have I got to lose?
Now, before all the wussies start crying and calling me names……what I say goes for BOTH sexes. If ONE spouse catches the OTHER in the act ….and reacts VIOLENTLY, even killing one or BOTH of the scumbags, I think they get a slap on the wrist and thats that. Walking in on something like that woudl be HORRIBLE for the innocent spouse,. A woman walking in on a man and some slut …….off em both……or vice versa…it matters NOT husband or wife. That is the GREATEST betrayal and whatever happens, well, it happens. The innocent spouse SHOULD NOT lose their life over something that was not their fault.
Infidelity MUST not be tolerated….but, unfortunately society seems to not care.
Smig,
I really agree with you that infidelity should not be tolerated. For me, it is my number one deal breaker. And while I do agree that the innocent spouse can react violently when he/she sees his/her spouse in bed with someone else, I still hope that the innocent spouse is able to exercise control. In the eyes of the law (and probably in the eyes of God, too), murder is murder … whether you do it out of anger or not. God help us all.
I don’t know what to feel while reading this article… At the same time I know that I am upset. I’m upset with her for the hurt she has brought on this man. I am upset with him, for any man who would do such a thing has probably done something(s) already that have placed in his wife’s mind the option of cheating. And although I know this must be a sort of spectacle to see, I am ashamed of the crowd gathering to watch such a thing with no one speaking up. Humanity seems to have trouble being humane towards their fellow man. This is, simply put, WRONG and makes me nervous about the state of marriage today. It makes me worry about my future relationships, it makes me worry about my marriage that has not yet come to fruition, it makes me worry about my parents, brothers, and sisters and friends marriages and relationships.
I am ashamed to say I have trouble trusting people in general but then I read articles like this and wonder if my struggle is somewhat justified. I have on more than one occasion felt the sting of a woman’s betrayal but I can understand that I clearly was unable to give them something they needed, desired or craved so until I am complete as a man, I do not believe I should give a woman myself in a relationship unless I know for sure that we are and will be together. Honestly, who is to say what I would’ve done had I caught my wife in such a situation? The pain this man felt must have been unbearable. The shame, pain, anger and embarrassment this woman felt must have been incomparable. Divorce rates today are ridiculous. God did not create marriages so that they could fail but it seems that is exactly what they are doing. Although I kind of doubt it, I hope these two will be able to reconcile what is left of this marriage. i hope they did not have children who had to suffer through this as well, because suffer, they would have! Marriage is meant to stand through SICKNESS and health, richer or POORER, better or WORSE, for both to love each other until death. It should not be entered lightly, as it is a symbol of sincere and mutual commitment to one another. Anyone who reads needs to go find their loved one and tell them, show them, express to them how much they love them. Because that love (along with God) is the cornerstone of your relationship and your loved one may not even realize how strong your love for them stands.
I pray that I find the perfect foundation for my marriage so that whatever the weather -sunshine, rain, hurricane, tornado, etc- it will stand strong through and through. But until then I am ashamed to say I am nervous about my own future and the women I allow into my life.
Obinna, I think you are valid in your fear of marriages, but you should not let that ruin it for you. Every marriage has its own trials and tribulations and people handle their conflicts in different ways, but it doesn’t mean that their story will be your story. You will have your own story, and it will make all the sense in the world to you.