The Orgasmic Rabbit

For the sake of this upcoming Verastically Speakin’ show, What Your Mother Didn’t Tell You About Sex Toys, I will go through almost anything – including, but not limited to learning about the rabbit that is capable of giving you an orgasm. ย Since I started talking about this upcoming sex toys show, I have exposed myself to all manner of things and people. I have started learning bad, bad things oh!

There I was, jejely minding my business – as usual – when Amara Nwankpa said he had something for me. Excited, I thought, my what could it be? An iPad? My Range Rover? The house in Lekki? Oh, what?! Alas, it wasn’t any of those. What he had for was an audio file, a promo, in celebration and anticipation of the Sex Toys show.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Listen to her before you read the rest of the post.

If you’re anything like me, I listened to it, and I thought, did she just say you need a rabbit?! And I instantly hoped she was referring to a stuffed animal rabbit because putting a live rabbit between your legs, that’s just a cruel and unusual punishment to the rabbit, not to mention, rabbits have big teeth, and they’re not afraid to use them. Using them may mean the bitting off, dicing off, and chopping off of certain very vital vaginal parts. All that for an orgasm? I’m not trying to be funny. That was really what I thought. Wait, did she just have an orgasm on my blog?

But then, Amara Nwankpa said, “You know the rabbit vibrator na…” Wait, what? Rabbit? Vibrator?? Seriously, what?!?!?! People, believe me when I say that Google is your friend. Well, I’m sure you know that already. So off I went to google Rabbit Vibrator and lo and behold, it does exist! It’s not a myth. I even went further and searched for the pictures of this Rabbit Vibrator. I was stunned. Just stunned. It’s called a Rabbit Vibrator because its clitoral stimulator looks a pair of rabbit ears. Pair of rabbit ears? I know rabbit ears. That’s what I see in the Playboy logo. These right here, they look like a pair of silicon pliers attached to the base of a mandingo [so much for not using naughty words on my blog. *Yawn*]

Excited about my latest discovery, I called Funmie to tell her, “Funmie, guess what I learned about today? Rabbit Vibrators!” To which Funmie said, “Ah, ah, Vera, even me sef, I knew that one.” What?! How? When? It’s in times like this one that you know your true friends. So Funmie knew about the Rabbit Vibrator and she did not think she should tell me, her one and only omo Igbo toh bad? I’m starting to re-evaluate this friendship.

So anyway, tune in on Saturday, February 19th 2011 at 10 am U.S. Eastern Time [3 pm GMT / 4 pm Nigerian Time] and we’ll settle these sex toys, rabbit, and orgasm issues once … but probably, most likely, not for the last time. Amara Nwankpa and Miss Jayla will both be there. ย It will be something fierce. Listen here on Saturday.

P.S. In case you were wondering, the voice of the person having an orgasm is that of someone famous who would rather remain anonymous. But feel free to decipher her identity ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  1. Funmie says

    Blood of Yesua (pst Aiyemo)
    Vera God forgive u! Ewoohhh u dey lie oh. Wat is rabbit? wat is orga….?

    Oloun maje!

    *runs away into hibernation*

    i might just be MIA *not* on saturday oh

    • says

      I’m not sure how Apostle Aiyemo will feel when he googles his name and this post is one of the sites that have it. No dey koba me oh, abeg. LOL @ what is rabbit. Yeah, nice try. When you’re done hibernating, meet me on the show on Saturday!

    • says

      You’re just a chicken. LOL. You’re running away from commenting, and on that day now, person might not even hear from you (voice wise). You’ll just be listening, not talking. I know your type *wagging finger*

    • says

      You have carried your madness from Twitter to Verastic abi? Video and demos, ko. Just wait there for us. But come to think of it, though, I have told Jayla and Amara to test the goods before Saturday oh. Me, I don’t know how far they have gone with it.

  2. El Divine says

    Hehehe…abeg who dey ask for video, no use vera blog do perv show oh.
    but vera sha, its either u guys generation no sabi, or we slightly younger folk don over sabi. cos either way, rabbit na almost common knowledge now oh…

    • says

      Buhahahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ See me see indirect insult oooo. Well in “our” defense, I will say that the slightly younger folks don over sabi. Yes, una don rotten finish! When I was your age ehn … in fact, don’t get me started.

      Wait oh … the rabbit is now common knowledge? Since when na?

  3. Daydah says

    Curiosity carried me from your twitter post here – and yes, she is having ‘one’ in your blogpost. I didn’t know Amara was this naughty, but I am not surprised Miss Jayla will be part of the show [wink wink]. Too bad Saturday is Sabbath day for me – must keep all thoughts and actions holy.
    God you know I will try hard o!

    • says

      Hahaha! So you’re saying Miss Jayla has a reputation for being naughty, ehn? And per Amara, well, he has succeeded in fooling us all. He’s very, very naughty! It’s unfortunate that you’re not going to listen to us live. The good, thing, however, is that you can always replay the show. I’ll be looking forward to getting feedback ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Oh, and as for the orgasm on my blog … well, there’s always a first time :-)

    • says

      Ehm … so since Turtle is in the picture right now, does that mean your purple rabbit is then obsolete [cause you sound like the rabbit and the man cannot co-exist inside one — errrr …. you know … :$

    • says

      If it makes you feel any better (or worse), Funmie knows a whole lot more sef. She’s a Pastor’s kid. They’re rotten. Oh, wait. I’m sure you know something about that ๐Ÿ˜€

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