For the sake of this upcoming Verastically Speakin’ show, What Your Mother Didn’t Tell You About Sex Toys, I will go through almost anything – including, but not limited to learning about the rabbit that is capable of giving you an orgasm. Since I started talking about this upcoming sex toys show, I have exposed myself to all manner of things and people. I have started learning bad, bad things oh!
There I was, jejely minding my business – as usual – when Amara Nwankpa said he had something for me. Excited, I thought, my what could it be? An iPad? My Range Rover? The house in Lekki? Oh, what?! Alas, it wasn’t any of those. What he had for was an audio file, a promo, in celebration and anticipation of the Sex Toys show.
Listen to her before you read the rest of the post.
If you’re anything like me, I listened to it, and I thought, did she just say you need a rabbit?! And I instantly hoped she was referring to a stuffed animal rabbit because putting a live rabbit between your legs, that’s just a cruel and unusual punishment to the rabbit, not to mention, rabbits have big teeth, and they’re not afraid to use them. Using them may mean the bitting off, dicing off, and chopping off of certain very vital vaginal parts. All that for an orgasm? I’m not trying to be funny. That was really what I thought. Wait, did she just have an orgasm on my blog?
But then, Amara Nwankpa said, “You know the rabbit vibrator na…” Wait, what? Rabbit? Vibrator?? Seriously, what?!?!?! People, believe me when I say that Google is your friend. Well, I’m sure you know that already. So off I went to google Rabbit Vibrator and lo and behold, it does exist! It’s not a myth. I even went further and searched for the pictures of this Rabbit Vibrator. I was stunned. Just stunned. It’s called a Rabbit Vibrator because its clitoral stimulator looks a pair of rabbit ears. Pair of rabbit ears? I know rabbit ears. That’s what I see in the Playboy logo. These right here, they look like a pair of silicon pliers attached to the base of a mandingo [so much for not using naughty words on my blog. *Yawn*]
Excited about my latest discovery, I called Funmie to tell her, “Funmie, guess what I learned about today? Rabbit Vibrators!” To which Funmie said, “Ah, ah, Vera, even me sef, I knew that one.” What?! How? When? It’s in times like this one that you know your true friends. So Funmie knew about the Rabbit Vibrator and she did not think she should tell me, her one and only omo Igbo toh bad? I’m starting to re-evaluate this friendship.
So anyway, tune in on Saturday, February 19th 2011 at 10 am U.S. Eastern Time [3 pm GMT / 4 pm Nigerian Time] and we’ll settle these sex toys, rabbit, and orgasm issues once … but probably, most likely, not for the last time. Amara Nwankpa and Miss Jayla will both be there. It will be something fierce. Listen here on Saturday.
P.S. In case you were wondering, the voice of the person having an orgasm is that of someone famous who would rather remain anonymous. But feel free to decipher her identity
P.P.S. Don’t forget the poll on the right sidebar.