Mom was jejely driving when she got pulled over. Before she finished her story, I was ready to say, “I told you to stop driving like that!” My mom is notorious for giving people an almost-coronary-attack while she’s driving. Let’s just say her way of switching lanes and making turns are neither friendly to her SUV nor the passengers that let themselves be transported in it. But I digress.
Mom has been pulled over before, most times for driving above the speed limit. But this time, she was pulled over for something else. I’ll quote the warning citation before I explain it.
“You have received a warning for the following violation(s):
DRIVING A VEHICLE WHILE A REMOVABLE WINDSHIELD PLACARD IS HANGING FROM THE INSIDE REARVIEW MIRROR”
And what that means, essentially, is that my mom was driving around town with a Hello Kitty stuffed face and a Winnie The Pooh face. Oh, and a rosary! Apparently, it is illegal to drive around with anything hanging on your rearview mirror. Seriously? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Maryland cops must have stolen the Jesus that used to be on my rearview mirror!
Since the offense on my mother’s traffic violation warning has an actual code, I guess it is in fact a real offense. Thank God it wasn’t a ticket. That said, I only have two questions:
1. How many people know that this is an offense? I certainly did not. And lots of people – if not most – drive around with some kind of “removable windshield placard” hanging on their rearview mirror.
2. How many people has this cop pulled over for this offense?
Mom’s theory: Since it was a White cop who pulled her over, he clearly did it for the classic reason: DWB (Driving While Black). He had nothing else on her, so he decided to give her a warning for daring to drive with Hello Kitty and Winnie The Pooh hanging on her rearview mirror.
My first theory: Cops have a quota of how many traffic violation tickets and warnings they have to hand out each week/month/season/quarter. The cop that pulled my mom over clearly hadn’t reached his quota and was desperately trying to do so.
My second theory: The cop that pulled mom over was a rookie (new) cop, had milk on his breadth, and he was just happy to exercise his new found power, pulling drivers over for whatever and handing tickets and warnings to them.
Oh, then there’s this third theory: The cop noticed my mom from afar, instantly fell in love with her with her high yellow skin tone, and did what he could to speak to her. He has since been camping outside our house, stalking his new found love, and daydreaming about their wedding in Africa. He just wishes he knew which animal he’d rather ride on for their wedding: an elephant or a hippo?
What say you?