Sex, Sex, Sex!!!

Sex is such an interesting, diverse, and complicated topic. Although it’s a three letter word, it’s often treated as a four letter word. SEX. If my blog were a sex blog and I had to blog about sex everyday, I still would not run out of things to say about it. Sex goes beyond the positions taken and minutes spent while doing it. A critical question one should ask is: Should I even have sex?

In relationships (marriage excluded), sometimes, sex is included, other times, it isn’t. It has continued to be a controversial topic: to have sex or not? When to have sex? With whom to have sex? What kind of sex to have? Where to have sex? Naturally, these are not the questions you ask mom’s advise for.
I can just hear it now, “Mom, there’s something I need your advise on. Mr. Shoes and I have been having a hard time deciding where to have sex. I think we should do it on the roof of the primary school at the end of the road, but he’d rather we hang from a chandelier. What do you think?”
If my mom is still the mom I have known for the past XX years, then I can expect the following (in no particular order): She’ll throw her shoes at me; she’ll throw her big bag with the heavy metal thing on me; she’ll throw her long umbrella at me, pick it up, and beat me with it; she’ll beat me with both of her hands all over my body; she’ll slap my face, especially my mouth; she’ll call me all sorts of names (idiot, anuofia [bush animal], ekwensu [devil], otolo gba gi [honestly, I still don’t know the meaning of this insult. What is otolo?], bloody fool, bullshit [yes, she will call me a bullshit], onye ala [mad person] … and the list goes on.
On that note, I won’t have this discussion with mom – for two reasons:
1. Mom is one of those small but mighty people. She is more than able to do all that I have said she will probably do — and much more.
2. Mr. Shoes and I do not have that dilemma. That’s actually Funmie’s dilemma. Don’t tell her I wrote it here.
Why is all this even important? Three reasons.
1. Verastically Speakin’ will be tackling sex within relationships on Saturday, October 10th 2009. And because of how fun it will be, we will dedicate two hours (instead of 1.5 hours) to it. The co-hosts are Ekene Agabu and NaijaBloke. If you do visit Bloke’s blog, please tell him to update.
2. There is a poll on the top right side bar. Help us out.
3. We need a female co-host to balance it out. Inquire within AKA or 1.443.934.9039
P.S. “Sex within relationships” does not include marriage, one night stands, being friends with benefits, sex buddies, ‘kicking it,’ etc. It only applies to being in a committed relationship that happens to include sex.
Go HERE to set up your reminders. Once again, the show will air on Saturday, October 10th 2009 at 10:00 am U.S. EST time/ 3:00 pm GMT / 3:00 pm Nigerian time.
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions about this show, send them ASAP [as in IMMEDIATELY] to
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  1. BSNC says

    ehen someone called me onye ala last month, so that it what it means. mehh i am going to kill somebody very soon..

    saturday again. i am working o, see interesting topic..

  2. leggy says

    wow…another sex post.
    i also dont know what otolo is…my mum says otolo gbagbu kwa gi ebe ahu or her fave one…akpa nsi na-eku ume…lol.go figure.

  3. scribble, says

    Hmm, I probably not as qualified to weigh in on this debate as most people, but I believe that sex, or the lack of it, is an important part of relationships. Bottom line is, both parties have to be completely on the same page.

    That's my 2 cents for now

  4. Anonymous says

    Why are you this funny? my housemates must think I've run mad with the way I'm laughing. Keep up the gd work. I luv u loads.

  5. CaramelD says

    The first time I will be home to catch your show and it will be on sex. Interesting. Well it will make my chores go faster I'm sure. Let me go and vote on the poll oh jare!

  6. Writefreak says

    That three letter word again!

    I have my own thoughts regarding sex in a relationship that isn't a marriage but hey who asked me?? lol

    How're you Vera?

  7. Remi, United Kingdom says

    The intro to this post is just too funny! When I was younger, there was mother… and then God! so I understand her reaction perfectly! lol…

    I think I will be @ work at that time..

    Have an awesome weekend.. much love…

  8. Vera Ezimora says

    Bagucci: LOL. See your mouth. Of course, the school roof will do just fine for you.

    NaijaBloke: Whatever!!! Just because you managed to update this time around pesin no go hear again abi? Abegi!

    Uche: Awww. Thanks for stopping by. I'm gonna talk to you about that love potion you told me about. Adi'm highly interested :)

    Eche: Oh…! So that's what otolo is? Chei! This my mom sha! So she's been wishing me dysentery all this time?

    Myne Whitman: Yes, oh… sex kwa. That is what is currently on the table. Oga di kwa kpo kpo. Hehe. And thankfully, Eche has already told me the meaning of otolo. Kai…

    UnderCover07: Well, catch up when you're done working. Tell me what you think about it :)

    Temmy Tayo: Bia, Temmy Tayo, are you going to call in from Naija and stay on for 90 minutes? If so, when can we do this? I am game ooo.

    Controversy: Since Eche is anonymous, I doubt if your question will get answered. LOL.

    Ibiluv: How the thing dey do you for body?

    BSNC: LOL. What did you do to warrant such a 'compliment?' This your job, I am not liking it anymore oh, ah ah! Why is it always coming between you and Verastically Speakin?' How far na?

    Kola: What's on your mind, Kola? This one wey you just call my name like that — hehehe.

  9. Vera Ezimora says

    Chayoma: By the power vested in me by Verastically Livin,' I now pronounce you and Danny Bagucci blog husband and wife, and I e-lock you on the school roof top. Now go!

    Leggy: Hahahaha @ akpa nsi na ekwu ume. Your momsy is baaad!!! Not just an ordinary bag of shit, but a breathing one at that. Chei.

    Diamond: But what? R u shy?

    Gee: Did I or did I not tell you to inquire within ( How we go take continue this conversation here na?

    The girl with the red hair: You too?!?!?!?! Okay, go and join Chayoma & Bagucci on the roof top then.

    Jayla: I wonder why their favorite topic is sex. Does it have anything to do with their naughty, naughty madam Jayla?

    Scribble Me Free: And why aren't you qualified? Xpantiate. I agree sha — sex, or the lack of it is important – whatever that means.

    K9: Ehn? Ocha na gini? Hia! Biko, make una dey take sofry sofry dey bring all this Igbo insult on top my blog oh. Wetin sef? LOL.

    His Treasure: LOL! Nawa ooo! I never knew there were these many people into roof tops. Y'll do know that the roof top is for an elementary school abi? Una dey wicked o.

    Olapeju: Awww!! Thanks, boo!! If you find me funny, then we thank God o! :) I don't know what else to say. Don't worry about your house mates. They won't understand. lol.

    Jayla: Like I already told you, it confirms my thoughts: I'm good and you're bad. Finish.

    Anonymous: Sure. I'll talk to Okechukwu on your behalf. But seeing as you're anonymous and I have no way of reaching you, it might be difficult. If possible, e-mail me Or I'll post it here, if I can, when Okechukwu makes it available.

    Caramel: Yay!!!!!!! R u gonna call in too? It'll definitely make your chores go faster, I can guarantee you that much.

    Write Freak: What'dya, who asked you? I asked you? Pray do tell, what are your thoughts?

    Remi: All you people that are picking work over Verastically Speakin, don't make me get you all fired ooo. It;s not funny anymore. Y'll are not treating me right.

    Pink Satin: You sound like you'd love to give it a try. Hehehe.

  10. Anonymous says

    Vera If you can do a quick blurb about the scholarship link in the next scheduled post when he makes it available to you I'll appreciate it. Thanks!

  11. Anonymous says

    The trouble with sex is that after about 50 years it gets boring, then you realise you've spent most of your life and a lot of money on satisfying animal lusts. I know, I've done it. Damn. Another life wasted.

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