Prelude To The Story About The Married Man

I cannot count on one hand how many times I have written about married men. As God would bear me witness, I, Vera Ezimora, have never been involved with a married man. I may not be married, but I regard the institution of marriage very highly. I maintain that marriage is not by force. I do not know or understand why men get married, only to turn around and cheat on their wives. I do not condone promiscuity, but if your penis is not mono-friendly or mono-capable, then please, save an innocent woman the misery of a heartbreak.

I’m angry right now because I just had another incident of a married man talking nonsense to me. But this time, it’s different. This time, I will write a full blown write-up about him. His wife just sent me a message, too. She said I should get a life because her husband would never stoop so low. I did not respond to her message because (1) I am not convinced that she actually sent it. He might have logged into her account and sent it, and (2) I want to believe that women are no longer this stupid.

You know, Vera is usually drama-free. I usually never write about anything personal, but this time, my anger compels me to go ahead and do it. Consequences be damned. I am currently collecting “evidence” for my write up. This is going to be good. Stay tuned.

P.S. The married man should stop sending his friends to call and beg me not to put this write-up up.

P.P.S. His wife just came from Nigeria — all of three or four months ago. Welcome to America. And welcome to the husband you actually married, not the one you thought you married.

I’m going to bed. I shall draft this piece while I sleep. Those are usually the best ones.

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  1. Kc says

    Ahhh!!! That’s it? Madam Vera, I’m waiting 4 the real story oooh. Shame to cheating married men who have no remorse.

  2. BBB says

    Cheating Married men Disgust me!! as in absolutely disgust
    Its the one thing i wont tolerate
    The fact that the wife “might” be getting involved and supporting the nonsense eve rattles me more
    Absolute rubbish

    • says

      And to think that I did not for once encourage this behavior, and yet, she sent me a message. What if I actually did something with him???? *SMH* Anyway, hopefully, she did not send it.

  3. says

    Vera dear, the way you women go about this matter one begin to wonder who the men – married or not – should ‘cheat’ with. For as long as there are women willing to do the deed, men will do it. And sincerely, there will ALWAYS be willing women. Blame it on the hormones, on the skewed human demographics or on plain old stupidity, the deed must do! What the man said to you was not ‘nonsense’, it was an offer which you rejected. (See, I believe you.) Your indignation actually matches that of the Wife who prefers to believe that her husband will not ‘stoop so low’ when he’d gone even way lower. (Un)fortunately, as long as there are women as gullible as the Wife, men will do!

    • says


      I do not disagree with you. For as long as there are people who are willing to be cheated with, men (and women) will always cheat on their partners. However, the onus to be faithful is on the married person. In this case, the man. He is the one who is married, the one who has pledged to forsake all others and cling to his wife. So even if temptation looks him in the face and literally kisses his lips, it is his obligation to resist. In the case of this married man, temptation did not come to him. He went looking for it.

  4. says

    I do have to say, you are quite right. you are never ‘drama’ prone on your blog. For you to be vexing like this it is very serious. Nne ndo! Married men who cheat will be the blight of humanity for as long as human beings draw air. Mumu like me didn’t know what was going on till I reached Naija for NYSC and my eyes opened! It was so sad. I think I got asked out on average more by married men, than by single self.

    The wife sending you a message baffles me. Where did she get your details from? Did she send you a text or email? Chai pele sha.

    • says

      Caramel, she sent me a message on Facebook. I don’t know who told her my name. But her husband has been the architect of his demise in more ways than one. He’s the one who reached out to me, and he’s the one telling everyone to talk to me too. Of course, these people will also be telling other people.

      Nne, I dey vex ooo. You don’t even wanna know. Oh, and they have both run off Facebook. Good thing I have all my evidence already *evil laugh*

  5. AnonymousGA says

    I can imagine how frustrating this is, for Vera to write about this…it means this man has really crossed the line. Unfortunately, I do believe the wife would send such a message. Sometimes, women do not know when to apply that whole “stand by your man” thing. As for Ol’boy, he should even get the POTUS and PON to call you ma sef, plus Queen Elizabeth. He should have thought about this a long time ago.

    Married men and women (because y’all know some married women can’t keep their skirts on), biko hold yasef. Marriage is not easy and that is why you are told to be 130% ready before sashaying down the aisle. You are forsaking all others o, including the delectable people that you might be tempted to touch. There are too, too many consequences to stepping out on your significant other.

    As for the Wife, girl please sit all the way down. Vera should get a life?!? Ok na, dey there dey deceive yasef. Your husband will bring home plenty surprise packages for you. You are lucky he ran into a woman that decided to use her christian mind and not drill a hole into that man’s pockets. There are plenty Loose Lucy’s that will give him the time of day and make your life a living hell. This whole display of “he can’t stoop so low” will continue to fuel his stupid behavior. He knows that you will blindly defend his randy behind and tolerate his nonsense.

    Sorry for the long comment Vera, irresponsible married people make me so mad. I know we are human and temptation dey plenty but some of our married men no dey try fight the temptation ma sef. They feel it is their birthright to continue to sample even after marriage. Thunder fire him where he is.

    • says

      Anon, he doesn’t even have a pocket for me to drill. Clearly, he and his wife are a perfect fit for each other. What kind of woman sends a mail to someone she doesn’t know about something she knows nothing about, all in a bid to stand by her lousy mistake of a man? Whatever. When his information goes on my blog, then we’ll know who needs to really get a life.

    • Adabeke says

      nne udo. I don’t even know where to begin. Ufortunately one of the comment is right. As long as there is someone else willing to play, cheating will continue. It just really disgust me because there are some nasty people in this world. As for the wife, yes I do believe she sent you the message. For some odd reason, women always think the other person is at fault. Yes what God put together…well you know the drill…but she needs to deal with her partner. The one she sleeps with everyday.

      Please be careful. These days people scorn are capable of anything.

      BTW, I too is waiting on the gist.

      • says

        Adabeke, you’re right. There are definitely some very nasty people around. It’s unfortunate. I never understand it when women ignore the common denominator (their husband) and choose instead to go after the other person.

    • says

      Tata, how I wan say am nau? She’s there defending her husband for attempting to cheat on her. What the hell? And in her mind, she’s being Ruth abi Proverbs 31 woman. Oh, well. Better her than me.

  6. Uju Nnameka says

    well vera u know me i usually dont comment but yes this guy is really taking the piss. He knows you roll in similar circle with his close friends, he really is stupid and this is not the first time he also asked a certain friend of the circle out. I really hope the wife didnt write that cos when i met her she seemed smatter than those words she allegedly wrote… Anyways cant wait for u to update ur fans…i go dey watch from hia lol… yea welcome to d dude u actually married strong words

    • says

      I guess looks can be deceiving. I guess his first offense did not teach him a big enough lesson. He figured he can still eat from both hands. He didn’t know he could choke. Oh, well.

  7. says

    Women really need to open their eyes sometimes, and I can see that this wife has carried her Nigerian sense over to America to handle her marriage. Nne biko, if you are reading this, your husband is the problem here not Vera. You better get mad at him.

    I will say though, as an “afterthought” of sorts. Vera if you write this won’t you be involving yourself in the drama even more? Not that I don’t want to hear gist and sneer at the cheating husband, but still…

    • says

      EDJ: I thought the same thing too. The wife has really brought that nonsense Naija mentality over here. She’s fighting for a man who clearly does not deserve it. In her mind now, she’s being a good wife. That said, I have considered your afterthought, but at this point, it doesn’t get any worse than this. Had he not told his friends, they would not have known, but he went ahead and told them, and I know he did not tell them the true version of this story, so I will go ahead and clear the air. Let the truth be known.

  8. Mizchif says

    Wooohooo!!! GIST!
    Vera do not listen to all those people trying to disuade you from revealing this gist. Do not listen to such detractors.
    Ngwa hurry up and post this gist.

    • says

      Hahaha @ Mizchif. See your life! By hook or by crook, you want to get the 411 of this story. I like your style jare! I shall not be moved. The post must go up.

  9. Nefertiti says

    Ghen Ghen! Infact, nne if you no post dis gist ehn, u will see the kain pepper wey I go show u. *tightens wrapper*

    But for real though, some women are still THIS stewpid? Actually sending you a message…Where they do that at?

    I can’t wait for this “lude” oh… Please hurry before I burst a vessel in my chest from oversabi. Thank you kindly!

    • says

      Hahaha at bursting a vessel. Abeg oh! We cannot let that happen. You still owe me efo. Once you give me the efo, you can go ahead and burst that vessel. Unfortunately, some women are definitely still this stewpid. *SMH*

  10. Isi Ike says

    I want to believe that all these bla bla bla were written by women and women alone.

    Here is what we, the MENs, think.

    One man one woman is just bullshit. It was imposed on us by White peoples. They (Clinton, Weiner, Newt, John Major, Jesse Jackson, Bill Cosby, Swassnegar)has shown us that it don’t work. The only problem is that nobody knows how to dismantles it.

    ….For now.

    All you African women are just coming into the field – defending fidelity- when the game are over.

    Relax, Vera. The world iss not ending.

    And by the way, why is there too many drama with y’all in Maryland areas? That wife may be right. You all need to get a lifes. Not you, Vera. I’m pro-Vera.

    He asked you and you says no. So what’s the problem? get over it. Women are something. If they are asked, it is a problem. if they are not asked, it is a problem. They become depress, cut their hairs and start sleeping in the church and with the pastors.

    As for his wife, well, she will learn… but before she does, she wants yu to leave her man alone. Who will blame her? No married woman trusts any unmarried woman anywhere near her husband. You know why? Women knows what womens can do. That is the tragidy of womenfolks.

    • says

      Isi Ike,

      Honestly, I don’t know why we have this much drama in Maryland. It must be something in the water. I will try to address all your points and questions.

      I don’t know if you’re right about monogamy being unnatural, but when decides to get married, one also decides to commit to a monogamous relationship – unless otherwise stated. It is unfair to want to be married and single at the same time. Marriage is not a do or die affair, so if he wants to chase women, he should have stayed single.

      I cannot just get over it because it is insulting to me. I am not writing about a random fool who decided to chase after a girl down the street. I am writing about a person who was not smart enough to realize that if he must cheat, he should probably do his research well — and probably not do it close to home. Coming to me, as far as I can see it, is like shitting where you eat. Unless he enjoys the smell of fresh shit while he’s eating, there is no reason to go there.

      As a woman – albeit unmarried – I am well aware of what my fellow women can do. I know we can get desperate and do things that we shouldn’t. But it doesn’t matter how many woman you chase away from a man who is determined to cheat. Where there is a will, there will always be a way. Keeping me away from her man is null and void because he is the one that needs to be kept away.

      On that note, the womenfolk have no tragedy, but if we do, it is not bigger than the men’s tragedy.

      P.S. Thank you very kindly for being pro Vera. I am truly grateful.

  11. MommyJNJ says

    Vera B’anyi this is really very serious for U to be vexing like this oo..It’s really unfortunate that some men are crazed dogs when it comes to anything in skirt, married or not..Am a firm believer in monogamy n support the motion of exposing his sorry ass so others can learn from his foolishness..
    As for this Isi Ike person, pls tell him 2 watch his typing cos am getting cross eyed from reading all those “ses” at the end of words that normally wouldn’t have an s at the end…keep us posted dear..One LOve!!

    • says

      Nne, it’s indeed unfortunate that there are men who don’t understand what it means to be married and cannot stop until they chase the latest skirt in town. Odi kwa egwu! And yes, I am vexing. At this point, I am more vexed at the denial than I am at the deed. But no wahala. When it’s written, we shall know who is telling the truth.

      LOL @ your comment to Isi Ike. No comments from me. That’s between “the two borof you” 😀

  12. says

    Nonsense. If you were going to write it it would have been written by now. Next thing now, you’ll come and say that you just want to leave the matter; it’s like they say in the movies, “If you’re going to shoot, SHOOT. Don’t stand there talking about it!”
    Once you talk about doing it, chances are that it will never get done. Dig?

    Quit hating on me. Write the damn thing! Yes, gist dey hungry me too! LOL

    • says

      Sometimes you don’t really wanna shoot, so you warn ahead of time, just so that the person you wanna shoot will back off. But when he continues to come close, you have no reason but to shoot and aim to kill.

      On that note, I’m still writing it. Believe me. My mind has not been changed.

  13. says


    At Vera: Sometimes it’s not desperation. Sometimes, it’s not the devil. Sometimes, it’s just sex. Or greed.
    Nothing fanciful.

  14. Sleekiest says

    Verastic; you know I like gist so I’m itching to hear this. But at the expense of my amebo appetite, I will beg you not to write about it.
    Leave them both and their problems. You have more important things to write about.

    • says

      Sleekiest, I don’t know if you’re completely right. You see, this right here is in the neighborhood of the type of write-ups I do. I’m not just going to put up a blog post telling everyone what happened when. I will make it informative, and God help me, also edifying. The post will go up. You’ll like it. I guarantee it. Abi you no trust your Vera baby again? Tehehe.

  15. DirtyKiss says

    Sometimes I wonder if there is something particularly or intrinsically wrong with us MEN. For a while now in London, I’ve mostly found myself in the gathering of married men and they still ask themselves what really is wrong. Blame it on Nature? I’m not so sure about that – the virtuousness of good men will contradict such claims. Some of them go after girls who are so rusty, it will even make their women weep, and then you start asking, what is it that this man saw in this woman when he has such a ‘chasis’ wife @ home? Just because they about to unveil a new ‘BOX’? (if you know what I mean :-) I can’t blame them too much just yet – one day I too will be in their shoes and I will be in a better position to judge. Vera, this your story go bad gan oooooo. I no fit wait, nwanyi oma!

    • says

      Many, many times, I wonder, too, if there is something intrinsically wrong with you men. LOL. Unfortunately, there are women, too, who I ponder the same question about. I even sometimes wonder it about myself – although not relating to the issue of married men and/or infidelity.

      Women are equally excited about opening a new box. The problem is that we’ve been conditioned to not even go down that road, else we will be called outside our names. And when our men do it, we ought to know, after all, that men will be men. And all men do it. But do all men do it? And it is okay, if they do?

      I have to go write, DirtyKiss. My hands are itching. I hope you like what you read when I’m done.

  16. says

    My eyes are still burning from the fire laced into every word of this post….Waiting for the write up with my glass of water on the side!!

    • says

      Mikki, I was angry when I wrote it. I’m still angry. Every time I think of it, I get angry all over again. It’s a good thing that I’m angry anyway. It’ll fuel my write up 😀

    • says

      … And there we were thinking it was a woman scorned. LOL. Indeed. Him no do research well, well. Him for know say Vera can fit to write about him. Well, good for me. Probably not good for him.

  17. says

    Rubbing my hands with Glee. Plenty of gist to catch up on my Vera. I’m sorry I wasn’t on duty when this happened. I would have kingfuued the man or the wife or both sef. Smoke detecting wives just make me mad!

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