And you thought it wasn’t possible! If there’s one thing I absolutely love, it’s discovering stuff that was once thought of as impossible. I remember on one – maybe a few – episode(s) of The Verastic Show where we somehow went into the topic of broken hymens, restoration, etc. A caller had called in and said that Nigerian women use alum to restore the tightness of their vaginas, thereby tricking men into thinking that they did not have “high mileage.” That was the first time I ever heard of that. Today, however, I have discovered a way for women to regain their virginity for the low price of $29.95 (that’s about N4,492.50 - at the exchange rate of $1 to N150) … and it includes the shipping cost! Continue to find out how.
I don’t even know how to begin to describe this hymen kit. It has literally left me at a loss for words. On one hand, I am laughing at the men who will fall for this fake virginity stunt, but on the other hand, I am worried for my sons. They have not been conceived yet, and women now have a way to fake their virginity. What will happen by the time my sons are old enough to get married?
In other words, pretend to be a virgin, spill some fake blood, and then, moan and groan to confirm pain (and pleasure?) to seal the deal. Okay. Got ya! To use the kit, the aspiring virgin has to insert the artificial hymen into her vagina about 15 to 20 minutes before intercourse, and she should note that after intercourse, some of the artificial hymen will melt inside the vagina. But don’t worry, it probably doesn’t cause cancer.
If you’re concerned about what people will think when they see that you have received a package from the Hymen Shop, then worry no more because it will arrive in a discreet packaging and no one will know what’s in it. For every woman that has been branded as the highway, as Google (everyone is browsing), as the Post Office (people keep going in and out) the asewo ten kobo, and as the Keziah, this here, is your way of keeping your secret.
The good news is that I have figured out a way to protect my sons: if any woman spills blood for them, they have to take that bed sheet to the nearest lab for some DNA testing. My mom always says that it is with madness that you fight madness. There is no other way to fix this. We just all have to be mad.
That said, I say ntoooo (sticking tongue out) to all the men who are looking for virgins. Virgins are great by all accounts, but any man who is not a virgin has lost his right to look for one. The irony is that it is always the sleaziest of men that go looking for virgins, the men who have sampled every woman and their cats.
The next time you break a woman’s hymen, think twice. In the meantime, you can go to the artificial hymen site to see what I’m seeing. And possibly order yourself a brand new virginity?
Disclaimer: This is not an endorsement of this product, nor is this an ad of any kind. View and purchase at your own risk.
Chei!!!! I die a million times over hahahhahaha. Ogini zi. Men are in serious trouble nne no be say go come. But I thought our “modern” men were mostly anti-virgins?
I think our modern men are mostly anti virgins, I don’t know for sure. But the kind of people who will buy this kit are the women who are not modern, thereby dating not modern men either. That’s my assumption anyway.
This is super crazy! Next, the side effect will be cancer smh! Alum for a fix…this is new to me lol! What’s all the headache to mind the broken lmao!
Hey V, try and let’s see lol
xoxo
Stella
I don’t know why anyone would wanna put this thing inside them that can melt. And I agree, I won’t be surprised if it leads to some kind of deadly disease, like cancer. But people want what the want, not minding the side effects. Lol at trying it first. No, thank you! Lol.
Who told u V doesn’t have hers intact?
*smh* V doesn’t need any artificial hymen biko kwa!!!!
Hahaha.
Zinny, thank you for coming to my defense. But J’adore is a friend. She was only kidding
Feel free to come to my defense any time though. Lol *kisses*
And here i was thinking i would have to resort to having sheepskin sewn inside hahaha (seriously i read about it somewhere) Interesting times we live in and it even comes with fake blood lol Ahem Vera what were you googling when you came across this product *cough* *cough*
Sheep skin?? Sewn??? Inside where oh???? Chi’m oooo! People have gone mad for real. I was doing some blog patrolling when I came across this oh. Stop accusing me falsely.
Vera …… women in the middle east have been doing this for years oh. But this one is very good eh? To think some woman actually go to the surgeon to plant a new hymen.
That alum thing is true. I read a nigerian story where the woman used alum and stuck something up and it worked.
But jokes aside, this is really, really sad. We never hear of men going through such extreme measures to appear to be “good” boys in front their wives. So why do we have to do so much? Per the alum, I thought people were supposed to sit on it? I coulda sworn that was what the caller said. I might be mistaken anyway
Please what is alum?
Mmm. I don’t remember the English name. But in Igbo, we call it nzu. It’s that chalky thing we eat/ suck/ lick. It is also used to cook soups.
Notice board: this male here does not require keziah service from virgin(any female can now own dat nomenclature)
Disclaimer: if u do submit as the original virgin,be warned that the highway reverts to the Broadway after the hymen has given way. Then u know u r on a long thing or a short thing as the case may be. Capish.
Hahahahahaha.
Love your disclaimer!
But seriously, I’m here laughing my but off and thinking is this for real. And the alum thingy geeez people our health is more important for Pete sake.
This is hilariously stupid if i may say. NA REAL WAH.
Yup. Very hilarious. Very stupid. Makes you wonder how desperate someone would have to be to go this far. Crazy!
This is just so wrong men…lol,well for those that want to marry a virgin gud luck,n as for the pros,we can tell a fake virgin from a real one,blood or no blood….(Yarnmesomething.com)