As you may or may not know, I am a future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys. I am not pregnant with them yet, and I am not planning on being pregnant with them right now either. I am not currently doing anything that is capable of making me pregnant with them. Pun intended.
But I do want them, and I do want them badly. I’ve started buying clothes for my future babies. No, I am not buying two of everything. I don’t intend for my twin boys to dress alike all the time – unless they choose to. And if I must buy them the same outfit, it must be different colors – unless, again, they choose to do otherwise.
In light of this fact, I put out a tweet the other day…
I posted the tweet and carelessly walked away from my phone. I had no idea that it would become a tweetversation. I got all types of suggestions and ideas. I am too lazy to put a picture of each response, but I’ll give you the general gist. Alternatively, of course, you can follow me on Twitter. Pleeeeaaaassssseeeee??
Some of the suggestions …
- “Eat lots of yam …” – courtesy of Ehi_remen
- “IVF should do that … ” – courtesy of CriistalPure
- “Or injections that cause the egg to be volatile … ” – Courtesy of SteinerMarshall
- “Not ‘sweet potatoes’ that Americans call yams. It has to be yams from Igbo-Ora in SW Nigeria … ” – Courtesy of NaijaSwag
- “Fertility clinic is the best bet. There are some hormones that can be taken to increase the chance of double fertilization … ” – Courtesy of Ada_D_Body
- “Gud luck. Dont end up like Octo mom sha … ” – Courtesy of Alien_Enoch
- “Clomid medicine will do … It’s a medicine that helps you concieve. It releases multiple eggs so you have twins or more … ” – Courtesy of AbimpyMoschino
- “Eat yam? Amala…” – Courtesy of CheRox
“Stop ejaculation midway, blow air to seal the first baby, then put the second baby and blow more air to seal it too … ”- Courtesy of DizzyDami
But my favorite one was …
But of course, I couldn’t just take his word for it. After all, it is said that the person who asks questions never gets lost. So I inquired of him …
He’s a man who knows the facts and also has the stats to back up the facts. So he made the stats of the facts known to me.
Oh, yes! The record was (is) definitely valid enough! After finding out the record, I went ahead and made a public declaration.
And that is the chronicle of the Vera Ezimora Meets RealNaijaBloke’s Sperm gist. Consider this a Public Service Announcement (PSA) about RealNaijaBloke’s sperm. It is mine! I need it for the conception of my confusingly identical twin boys, so everyone needs to back off. I don’t care who or what you are: man, woman, child, or beast. Leave RealNaijaBloke’s sperm alone for me. DO NOT TRESPASS!
On that note, you can see that so many things happen on Twitter. You can get breaking news, a spouse, a job, a house, a discount, and even well loaded, twin-making sperm.