As you may or may not know, I am a future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys. I am not pregnant with them yet, and I am not planning on being pregnant with them right now either. I am not currently doing anything that is capable of making me pregnant with them. Pun intended.
But I do want them, and I do want them badly. I’ve started buying clothes for my future babies. No, I am not buying two of everything. I don’t intend for my twin boys to dress alike all the time – unless they choose to. And if I must buy them the same outfit, it must be different colors – unless, again, they choose to do otherwise.
In light of this fact, I put out a tweet the other day…
I posted the tweet and carelessly walked away from my phone. I had no idea that it would become a tweetversation. I got all types of suggestions and ideas. I am too lazy to put a picture of each response, but I’ll give you the general gist. Alternatively, of course, you can follow me on Twitter. Pleeeeaaaassssseeeee?? 
Some of the suggestions …
- “Eat lots of yam …” – courtesy of Ehi_remen
- “IVF should do that … ” – courtesy of CriistalPure
- “Or injections that cause the egg to be volatile … ” – Courtesy of SteinerMarshall
- “Not ‘sweet potatoes’ that Americans call yams. It has to be yams from Igbo-Ora in SW Nigeria … ” – Courtesy of NaijaSwag
- “Fertility clinic is the best bet. There are some hormones that can be taken to increase the chance of double fertilization … ” – Courtesy of Ada_D_Body
- “Gud luck. Dont end up like Octo mom sha … ” – Courtesy of Alien_Enoch
- “Clomid medicine will do … It’s a medicine that helps you concieve. It releases multiple eggs so you have twins or more … ” – Courtesy of AbimpyMoschino
- “Eat yam? Amala…” – Courtesy of CheRox
But my favorite one was …
But of course, I couldn’t just take his word for it. After all, it is said that the person who asks questions never gets lost. So I inquired of him …
He’s a man who knows the facts and also has the stats to back up the facts. So he made the stats of the facts known to me.
Oh, yes! The record was (is) definitely valid enough! After finding out the record, I went ahead and made a public declaration.
And that is the chronicle of the Vera Ezimora Meets RealNaijaBloke’s Sperm gist. Consider this a Public Service Announcement (PSA) about RealNaijaBloke’s sperm. It is mine! I need it for the conception of my confusingly identical twin boys, so everyone needs to back off. I don’t care who or what you are: man, woman, child, or beast. Leave RealNaijaBloke’s sperm alone for me. DO NOT TRESPASS!
On that note, you can see that so many things happen on Twitter. You can get breaking news, a spouse, a job, a house, a discount, and even well loaded, twin-making sperm.
Looooooool I LOVE thisss!!!
Tehehehe. Glad you love it, Nne. Had to blog abourrit … especially after all the wonderful suggestions I got. LOL.
dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You! You were missing in action. You didn’t come to give me the necessary suggestion(s) I needed.
hehehehh twitter is just too funny
does dalton know about this disclaimer on his sperm
LWKMD
Yup … Twitter is indeed very funny, and RealNaijaBloke knows of the claim on his sperm. I mean, he practically advertised himself for it anyway. No?
Ewoo! This turned out to be a post and I was mentioned?! I’m glad I helped to inspire this. Nice one dear
LOL. Yes ooo. You most certainly helped to inspire this. It was not my intention when I asked the question, but seeing as I got so many suggestions, it was only fair to share it with the world
AH! Me too I want twins oh. Thank you for the PSA. His sperm will be shared. No two ways about it. *shrug*.
LOL!
Mz T, you’re provoking me oh! Don’t allow me to show you another side of me. Okay, to be fair, you may have RealNaijaBloke’s sperm — but only after I’m done with him. Not before. And not during.
Or else …!
This Vera oh!!!! LWTMBHTD! Your husband will surely enjoy you.
LOL @ Pearl. My husband will definitely enjoy me. That is a fact! I’m already helping him by prepping the way. LOL. Nne, ke kwa’n? I have missed you oh.
the blowing air to seal the baby made me laugh out loud. so funny.
I know! I was laughing my head off too. I had to stop and imagine it. Then for a brief second, I wondered, “Is it actually possible?”
LOL @ blowing air to seal in babies. Eww?
People on Twitter are mad sha. I see that all the time.
What do you mean, Eww? Nne, I am very determined to do any and everything to see to it that I am the proud mommy of two bouncing baby boy twins – confusingly identical ones, of course. I mean, I’m already going to be using RealNaijaBloke’s sperm. How much worse does it get? Tehehehe
Dis woman………
LOL.
Its really gud to have u back.
I haven’t laughed on ur blogs for a while. welcome back babe.
Awwwww! Glad you’re laughing. This is a serious marra! LOL.
LMAO!!!!!!
This post is for the books! crazy suggestions and even claims on realnaijabloke’s sperm! Vera, you wont kill me…
iKnow! The craziness of the suggestions inspired me to do this post. I just had to share with the world the kind of kolo people that I tweet with. E no easy at all oh.
When @realNaijaBloke starts running for a public office, I would dig up this blogpost and share it with the press.
My two cents?
Use the ‘twince’ position. Use Google to find it.
LOL. I can only imagine what that would play out like. And it’d be even funnier if I already have my twins by then. All of a sudden, people will start looking at my twins funny, trying to dissect their faces and see if they have any resemblance to RealNaijaBloke. Tehehe. Mess up toh baaaaad!
Oh, wait a minute. What the heck is the “twince position?” I actually googled it. It only came up with fetal positions of twins in the womb. I don’t understand????
lol @ DizzyDami…
Vera I hope you know what RealNaijaBloke looks like oh… make ur twins no be confusingly worworly identical.
(PS: @RNB…I’m just joking oh!)
Tehehe. I sure do! He’s tall, dark, and handsome. Trust me nah! I wouldn’t just pick any random sperm for my “upkeeping.” This na serious marra!
lwkmd. Only you – Verastic can inspire this kind madness. smh.
LOL. I won’t call it madness. I prefer to call it — okay, let’s call it madness then.
Just seeing this and laughing so much!
LOL @ Myne. Nne, stay dia oh! Since our husband is shakara-ing me too much, I have decided to find other alternatives.