Or maybe not…
For starters, I told you about the waist vs hips phenomenom. Men prefer women whose waist is 30% smaller than their hips. Unfortunately, mine is just 23% smaller than my hips. You can read that post HERE. Secondly, I brought you news that at the age of 27, a woman’s fertility begins to significantly decline. I am yet to receive thank-you e-mails for that by the way. You can read that post HERE. Lastly, I brought news from Uju, my med-student friend: she said that for each child a woman gives birth to and breast feeds for a year, she decreases her chances of breast cancer by 11.4%. You can read that post HERE.
So I spoke to Uju again, and she gave me more news. I’m starting to unappreciate her med school. According to Uju (who learned this from her Professor), the most attractive a woman would ever be is when she is the age of 22-23. Obviously, 22 is more attractive than 23. It seems like 23 was only added there to make us feel better. But for people like me that are past 23, it makes no difference.
If you are not yet 22, then lucky you!! You can look forward to being 22 and extremely attractive. For those that are already 22, make hay while the sun still shines. For those that are 23, make serious, serious, SERIOUS hay while the sun still shines (and is about to do down for good). For those that are past 23, oh well!! All we can do now is use enough foundation (popuarly known as pancake by our Nigerian men) to make ourselves look 22…or 23 at least. Some lipstick, eye pencil et al will help. Hmm, I wonder if anti-aging lotions come into play at this point, or should I wait till I age?
I don’t know about you, but I’m really sick of receiving news about women from Uju. How is it that they never say anything about the men? Don’t tell me they don’t have some issues of their own. Seriously, all this time, I thought I was my most attractive right now. I mean, when I look back at past pictures, I think to myself, “I look wayyy better right now than I did before,” so how is it now that I’m hearing my most attractive age has come and passed me by.
Uju is only responsible for the news about breast feeding and the news about attractiveness, but all in favor of shutting her up, say AYE!!