Before I go on, let me tell you what I named Busola’s baby. I named him Chidi, so henceforth, you can expect regular posts on Chidi. When a Yoruba person hears his name is Chidi, the response is usually, “Ah, omo Igbo ke???” LOL. It’s been quite interesting to say the least. Busola and her hubby gave him other names which I do not care to mention because this is my blog darn it! Busola can go and open her own blog and tell every1 his Yoruba name. On Verastically Livin,’ he shall be known as Chidi. Full Stop!!
On Thursday night, Busola said she needed her “stupid friends” to come and spend the night in her house the next day (Friday) and help her sort some baby clothes and all that stuff. In spite of the insult, Funmi and I gladly went. We really need to get some self respect. LOL. I got there before seven thirty PM; Funmi got there before midnight. She’s always late. She was late too when God was distributing booties – hence Funmi’s flat backside.
Anyway, taking care of Chidi was not easy ooo!! He woke up every hour for food and pooped every time I fed him. Busola left him for me and Funmi and went to bed, so I was the one waking up to take care of him because her royal highness, Funmi was snoozing. Twas a humbling experience. Made me wonder what life will be like when I have my confusingly identical twin boys. Well, I still want them all the same. No amount of poop cleaning will stop me from desiring them. Moving along…
Have you heard that if an adult drinks breast milk, it will make him retarded? Actually, it’s not nice or right to say ‘retarded.’ The term is developmentally challenged. Curious about the veracity of this possible myth, I had to find out. You know how I love experimenting now! So what did I do??? Oh, it was quite simple actually. The genius in me just came up with a bright idea.
Her royal highness, Funmi was sipping on a glass of milk…..from a wine glass oo! Dunno what she was feeling like. She had to go into the bedroom to do some stuff, so she left her glass of milk on the table. Sitting on the table also was Chidi’s feeding bottle. It had breast milk in it, so I thought….. hmmmmmmmmm why not pour some of this breast milk into Funmi’s milk???? Hehehehehe. So of course I did! Funmi came out of the room and drank her milk. I had to hold myself from laughing. The funny thing is that she suspected I did it; just goes to show how predictable I am becoming. I need to change my strategies. Operation Make-An-Adult-Drink-Breast-Milk is complete!!
Now I’m watching Funmi for any adverse effects of drinking Busola’s milk. The girl already acts developmentaly challenged, so it’s hard to tell if her current actions have anything to do with the milk or if she’s just being her regular self. I think I have to increase the dose. What do you think?
Oh, by the way, I tasted a drop of the milk too. My dose is nothing compared to Funmi’s though. And no, I have not become developmentally challenged.
Ms.O says
loooooooooooooool!! poor Funmi!!!! LMAO!!! Vera you are crazy..please let us know of any developments!
FIRST!!!
Danny Bagucci says
U had me cracking up with laugther there….. Developmentally challenged.. Now that’s some fancy way of calling someone plain stupid…. I suspect you’re going to get a lot more “on the job training” with Chidi per poop ceaning and waking up at night….Should come in handy especially when your “confusingly identicaltwin boys”.. LOL
LusciousRon says
I am 3rd! Its been long since I entered top 5 Yippe!
LusciousRon says
I love Danny's comment and he is right on!
Funmi Call me as your lawyer if you notice any adverse effects from Vera's action. We shall sue her for every penny she has plus her dreams & imaginations and the stuff in her car trunk sef.
Vera I love that phrase 'developmentally challenged' Trust me it shall be added to my 2009 vocab!
Speaking of which where is Temite? Is she sleeping or something I exepected her to have put her 'First' graffiti on this page. Hehehe!
abby says
ohh lawdddddddddddddddddd
u r madddddddddddddddddddddddd
hahaahaahahahahaha
hapy new year vera..
poor fumi .. smh
Anonymous says
Experiments…Hmmm
You know the little bit you had can pass for an experiment too.
So lets say we are waiting for 2 diffrent results.
The overdosed Funmi’s and the lil self prescribed Vera’s.
How does that sound.
… How are you today?
Wale 😉
Afrobabe says
lmao…
Funmi start looking for your own projects oh…hahahahahha…
Kai, see this woan, I kept thinking you were going to test the theory by having a little sip urself and instead u used my darling Funmi (feels like I know ya) to do experiment after cursing her nyash…
hahahhahahahaha…Funmi no be u I dey laugh oh…but u must admit the situation is a bit funny…
Anonymous says
The breast milk stuff is surely gonna be a myth. You on your way to busting it… I wouldn’t do your experiments though.hehehe
Eche
Tisha says
okay
indeed u r`crazy
its confirmed
funny chic
rayo says
vera oh, u no go kill me! u actually put breast milk in her milk. u r one cwazy chick. lol.
JJ says
LMAO!!!!!!! That is just wrong! Haha, but ur plan will not work, cos i drank an adult’s breast milk before and i think a lot of people will agree with me that i am not developmentaly challenged!
So yea, try a different tactic. lol, you are something else!
FFF says
craze girl!vera!!!! naonly u go think 2 dash someone breast milk.
i don taste breast milk b4 sha. 4rm my niece’s portion. mehn! i shan’tdoit again oh. it aint pretty
Kafo says
i am over laughing
this is hilarious
people say that it doesn’t taste that nice
is it true
simplegal says
lmbo…hehehe only you Vera! You decided to use poor Funmi as an experiment subject! I don’t think you’ll be ‘developmentally challenged’ either!
mizchif says
VERAAAA!!!
Anyway, i’m glad ur friends r on to you sha. So u really can’t surprise them anymore!
Temite says
You darling are CRAZIEEEE! HA! Wonders shall never end o. WOW! Laughing my ass off at Funmie being late to Gods distribution of booties. buahahhahaha! Wait until she reads this. What is the meaning of Chidi? We are still waiting on the picture. BTW I am so jealous of you guys friendship, it just seems so cool and peaceful.
Buki says
HAPPY NEW YEAR VERA!
What happen to all your ‘Behave Myself’ regulations?
It’s too early in the year for developmental challenges o!
Naughty Eyes says
My dear, I saw your response to my previous comment and all the visits to my blog. Thanks *hugs*
As for the breast milk theory, so many men are in serious trouble oh! Me sef, I better finish all my serious studies now because when that wife of mine comes along, Junior may end up suffering from malnutrition because Daddy will be in front of the queue.
If that will make me “developmentally challenged” then, so be it!
PS: I’m saving my two, two kobo to call you anytime soon oh! Hope I don’t get voicemail sha…
Good Naija Girl says
After the laughter, what shines through is the close bond you and your girls have — so nice! We should all have a friend who will come and take care of our poopy and constantly hungry newborn (well, when the time comes sha)!
Darius T. Williams says
OMG – hilarious. I need to just be around you for a day or two – lol.
Vera Ezimora says
Ms O: LOL. Poor Funmi ke?? She should be happy that I nominated her (albeit by force) to be part of this ground breaking research. I’ll surely keep you posted if any developments come up.
Danny: Yes oh, I intend to get more training for my confusingly identical twin boys. Considering the fact that little Chidi kept me up for so long, I wonder what will happen with the twins. LOL. I guess I’ll find out. As for Funmi, I didn’t call her stupid oo. You said it yourself, but I’ll be sure to pass the message across. Hehehehe.
Luscious Ron: I’m not talking to you oo. So you want to join Funmi to sue me (even for things I am yet to acquire sef)??? I don’t like you anymore. You can forget all the love I have been professing!! Dem no born Funmi well to sue me oh, ah ah. Congrats on being third. My Temite is on her way. Don’t let her hear you taunting her o.
Abby: LOL. Happy New Year to you. Why does everyone find this my experiment strange now?? I’m not mad ooo. I just had to find out the koko. Hehehehe.
Wale: Hey you!! Well, you’re right. I guess we’re waiting for two different results, but uhm, me I’m too smart for breast milk to affect me oh. But as for Funmi….hmmm!!! Her own is a different case. I wish I had a video camera to document some of her not-so-smart moments. lol
Afrobabe: LOL. No be Funmi you dey laugh abi??? Hahahaha. Why do I find that hard to believe?? I for drink the whole thing myself oh, but babe, you know now…it’s not good to participate fully in an experiment – especially one that poses the risk of developmental challenge. As a good lab tech, I used Funmi instead. Hehehe.
Eche: LOL. You won’t do my experiment? LOL. Why now?? Well, for Funmi’s sake, I hope to break the myth. If the myth turns out to be a fact, then wahala dey for Funmi ooo
Tisha: LOL. I don’t even know what 2 tell you. Aren’t you the least bit curious about this possible myth?? Hehehe
Rayo: I kuku no wan kill you oh. I just want to find out the truth, but can you handle the truth??? LOL
JJ: How do we know that you’re really not developmentally challenged, ehn? Shey just because you said it I should believe you? You have to drink the breast milk that I give you before I believe you. So shall it be.
Sting says
LOL… u r crazy!
Just...Toluwa says
lmaO! u and ur experiments!
Cracking up at the funmi’s backside comment!
doug says
LOL! How wicked! I see your year is off to an eventful start.
yankeenaijababe says
@vera …lol
I couldn’t stop laughing in my bed. This is two grown up adults acting crazy. Haba, sha you didn’t tell us what the milk tasted like.lol
Have a fun week.
LusciousRon says
Madam so you are not speaking to me? Ok o Funmi contact me ASAP. So we can set the ball rolling. *wink*
Vivacious n Chic says
ROTFLMHO!!!!!!!!
I’ll reserve my comments cos I cant even think straight now………….cos i am so so tickled!
LOL!
Only you can do this kinda thing, honestly…..
OluwaDee says
Vera r u sure you have not become developmentally challenged????
Just to make sure, jump up and down 3x and bark like a dog.
If you do this successfully then something must be wrong.
happy new year deariee.
Rosie says
Adults drinking breast milk does not hurt. Just ask any married man…on second tots, i dont think anyone of them will admit to doing it.
Laughter says
Lol, Vera please am at work and my colleagues are looking at me as if am developmentally challenged o..
lol, am too dumbfounded to even say anything…Lol
Funms-the rebirth says
developmentally challenged?????? lmao……… ur something else….. awww sorry Funmi (ny wonderful namesake)….. u need to get back at Vera! i willingly offer my services…lol
Vera Ezimora says
Sting: And you, dear Sting are crazier than I am. I love you too, Sting. I love you!
Just Toluwa: Yes oh; I love experiments. I love knowing the truth, you know. When you see Funmi’s backside, you’ll understand. LOL.
Doug: It sure is!! I have to make 2009 fun, fun, fun!!! Funmi is glad I did the experiment though (in spite of what she might say when she comments).
Yankee Naija Babe: Ah, once in a while, one has to be a child again abeg. I don’t really know what the milk tastes like. I have to taste it again. Maybe I’ll drink half a cup or something.
Luscious Ron: Una no fit! Dem no born una well to sue me oh. I will join both of your heads together and knack it somewhere. Funmi darling, don’t mind her, pls. She’s tryna come between our love.
Vivacious n Chic: LOL. What can I say? I just needed to know the truth. So far, Funmi is still as developmentally challenged as she was before the experiment, so it’s hard to tell.
OluwaDee: LOL. That’s not fair ooo. I did all those successfully; that does not mean something is not right with me. It just means I’m supa dupa smart.
Rosie: LOL. But some might argue that “certain” husbands are developmentally challenged anyway. I wonder if it has anything to do with the breast milk. LOL.
Laughter: LOL. Maybe you’re not developmentally challenged ooo. One never knows these days. Hahaha. Babe, the experiment was a good one…abi how you take see am? I’m assuming you’re dumbfounded by how smart I am. Hehehe.
Funms: Stop it ooo!! You’re offering your services for evil. Did you hear (read) me? Stop it ooo! I don’t care if you’re her namesake or not.
Anonymous says
If what u reported happened, then it was an expensive joke: Transfering body fluid against the recipient will. Pls for whatever reason, don’t try it again, in ur entire life. I pity the victim. You can contain ur rascalism if u want to. I just hope this is only a fiction.
Funmie says
so i was drinking a glass of milk and i had to leave for d restroom o….
i came back and i knew Vera had ben up to something… i ignored the thot and still took a sip…. the taste wasn’t d same so i just emptied out the glass. how pathetic of moi et Vera.
i know that one good turn deserves another sha.
Uzezi says
christ u r some crazy chick. lol @ funmi being late when God was distributing booties, hence her flat backside.
assuming she suddenly becomes retarded? what will u do?
tobenna says
Drinking breast milk.
Now thats a thought.
Thats one of the reasons I dont want a kid just yet. I have to share my girl’s boobs with ‘it’.
I can already imagine some of the milk dripping out while I’m getting busy. Urgh!
Happy Nu year to you dear.
temmy tayo says
Vera!
What sort of blog godmother are u sef? U no even check up on ur blog godosn. Anyways as it is fear dey catch me to even allow u come near am make u no go mix his milk with cow milk.lol.
I no fit put anything past u o.
Happy nu year my darling.
ShonaVixen says
LOL!!!Vera!!!!SMH….Poor Funmi…lol..
aloted says
this is just wrong on some many levels!
Vera! the new year just started o
lol
so how does breast milk taste?
Vera Ezimora says
Anonymous: All this one you just typed na dogon turenchi (long English). When the opportunity presents itself, I shall repeat my experiment, and I will come here to tell everyone about it again. And no, it is evidently not fiction. Please see Funmi’s comment below yours. Happy New Year!!
Funmie: What is that supposed to mean sef? Are you threatening to make me drink breast milk too?? I am not threatened ooo. In fact, bring it on!!!
Uzezi: If she suddenly becomes retarded, I will say “Ooops” and move on with my life….wondering what could have been with Funmi’s life if I had not messed with her. Hehehehe. Happy New Year!
Tobenna: LOL. Selfish you!! Did you just refer to your future baby as “it”??? You deserve several strokes of koboko. And ehm what is wrong with the milk dripping while you’re getting busy?? You can just suck it up, love. Suck it all up. Hehehehe. Happy new year to you and wifey.
Temmy Tayo: LOL. I love you too, darling. I will never ever mix cow milk with my blog godson’s breast milk ooo. Haba why now? I love him too much for that. Happy New Year, love.
LOL. Shona Vixen: I don’t know why you’re saying poor Funmi when you should be congratulating her for taking part in this extensive research. LOL.
Aloted: I know the New Year just started now; that is why I started it with a bang. LOL. I don’t really know what breast milk tastes like. I have to taste it again. I guess the area of my tongue that tasted it did not have the proper taste buds.
StandTall-The Activist says
Chidi’s god mother una well done.
Funmi might get wiser frm that breast milk and even get plenty bootie, trust me
Funmie says
hey! how dare you yab my behind like dat?
Vera, dats what God gave me and i am content….
heck who am i kidding? no i am not content. but what can a girl do?
vera, there is hope sha….lol
darkelcee says
vera!!!!!!!
only you! happy new year girl
Vera Ezimora says
StandTall: I dunno about all that! She might get wiser oh, but booty ke? Abeg, that one no possible. LOL.
Funmie: Yes, love, there is hope. Believe in yourself. Hehehehehe.
Dark ElCee: Thanks, babe. No be my fault ooo! LOL. I had to find out the truth.
StandTall-The Activist says
The booty can grow o. God has put a lot of nutrition in breast milk o
Adewale Ajani says
Vera, I’ve followed all (I mean ALL) your postings and I prayed all along that you’d “change.” However, after reading “Introducing Exhibit A”, I’m now assured without equivocation that your case is not hopeful (another way of saying “hopeless”)…lol.
You got me laughin’ in fits and in the public for that matter. I’ve never felt embarrassed.
A happy new year to you.
Jaycee says
LOLLLLLLLLLLL….You’re too NAUGHTY!
Vera Ezimora says
Standtall: Well, if you say so sha. Funmi’s own is still the same size. In fact, it looks like it has become flatter sef. LOL.
Adewale Ajani: LOL!! Hahaha. I will not change oh. I no fit change. This is me, and I am here to stay. lol @ my case being hopeless. Hehehehe. Is that what you think of me? Look, I was just trying to help mankind out, that’s all.
Jaycee: I did it for the good of mankind ooo! I was not trying to be naughty. Hehehe
Her Story says
Thanks for all the funny stuff you write…
Vera Ezimora says
Her Story: Oh, thank you darling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
StandTall-The Activist says
LMAO!
Anonymous says
Hahahahah! Stupid girl.
Ide.
Vera Ezimora says
Standtall: Laugh ooo. I no dey laugh with you. LOL
Ide: Say what you want, but aren’t you glad that I conducted this scientific research? Now you know the answer. Actually, the results are inconclusive.