So I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance Oyibo’s people’s dance. Like salsa, tango, merengee, swing, waltz, modern, ballroom … in fact, any dance at all that I have never done. Yes, I know they are not all “Oyibo people’s dance,” but any dance I don’t see my people doing at parties falls under the Oyibo People’s Dance category. Couple of days ago, I saw a Living Social deal to go ballroom dancing for only $29 {for four (4) classes}. I couldn’t wait to get it.
Let me state for the record that the people in the picture above are not me and Igwe. I repeat, they are not me and Igwe. I know, I know. You’re shocked! They have such a striking resemblance to us.
I always enjoy shows like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With The Stars cause I think it is so beautiful to see what the human body can do. All the ways it can contort itself and move to rhythms. Beautiful! If I did not go down this career path (of writing and speaking), I think dancing might have been my next move. That said, I am not trying to imply that I am currently a dancer. Oh, no. Nothing like that. I can’t even do Azonto yet. Shoot, I still need to learn how to dougie! It pains me that I can’t dougie.
I always tell Igwe’s baby brother to dougie for me. He does it really well. During Igwe’s graduation, I told him to do it again so Funmie could see. After he was done, Funmie asked, “Hey! Which one is dougie again biko?” You see, this is why I need new friends. Funmie is blocking my dougie destiny.
Anyway, so Igwe and I will be starting ballroom dancing lessons. I can’t wait!! I have to get me some dancing shoes. From the dancing shows I’ve watched, I noticed that the women wore Mary Jane-type shoes, so I’ll get something like that. I’m not about to buy official dancing shoes for only four classes. Watch out for us. We might be so good that we’ll be on So You Think You Can Dance. And next time we have a Thanksgiving Sunday in church, Igwe and I will definitely be ballroom-dancing our way to the front of the church. Wooooot!
And after ballroom dancing, we’ll do a new kinda dance. I’m thinking ballet. I confess, I am now picturing Igwe in a pair of baby pink tights — with a hard on. 
I’m sitting by the dining table and laughing by myself. The picture in my head has me in stitches. My stomach hurts. :D Wish us luck!
Meanwhile, I’m going swimming with Funmie later today, and this is interesting because neither of us can swim. I can’t even float. Funmie, on the other hand, is at least taking a swimming class — where she can’t catch up with her fellow swimming mates. She now wants to impart the little knowledge – that she doesn’t have – on me. This should be fun. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow morning for the show, call Jesus. He’s the only One that will be able to resuscitate me (and bring me back to life) at this point.
Vera i hope Igwe does not have two left feet lol and how can you not know how to swim hahahaha sorry i found that sooo funny i have been swimming since i could walk and i always assume most people can…. i still do once a week the best form of exercise ever and i feel so at peace when i am in the water it is my stress reliever….anyways good luck to you all baby fishes lol
ehn? you are assuming that most people can swim ke? omo… me and my circle of frnds know nothing about swimming….
hiss… i am currently failing this class sef!
i have chosen to take the BOLD step of faith! THEY said i should do more fun things…. Oh i dey try, even God knows that i am trying.
#okbye
Funmie, walahi, if you fail swimming class, I will laugh you die. Ah, ah!
What?! Pendo, my mother did not enroll me in swimming school. By Kai, I honestly we na learn how to swim so badly. It’s heart-breaking being surround by a pool every time and I can do it soak my feet
Oh, and I forgot to say, Igwe doesn’t have two left feet. We,re not anywhere close to being the best dancers, but we can move to the beat at least.
LWTMB i concur with Bingz both the ballroom dancing and swimming lessons deserve filming oya Vera start the camerawork i need to see a video of this lol seriously though all the best guys and Funmie you will pass your classes just relax i would so love to see you two in the water:)
Well, you both have failed because there will be no camera anywhere around us. I definitely do not want to make a fool of myself. That is not how I want to debut my TV.
Buhaaaahahahahah……. this deserves a video camera
Bingz, for where??? No, oh! No video camera at allll.
LMAO…..Feraaaa!!!U are tress terrible! The mental picture of Igwe in pink tights and a hard on is just plain evil, u spawn of the ……!
Lmao and den a one eyed man is leading the blind to the swimming pool?! I shud ask, are u still alive?
Hahaha @ the mental picture. I found it soo funny when I was imagining it. Per swimming, I didn’t even make it. I forgot to buy a swimming suit. LOL. Some other time, I guess.
I took swimming classes years ago, but I still cannot swim. And igwe and you at ballroom…this is not Sunday thanksgiving oh! Lol
Lol! How can you say you took swimming classes and you still don’t know how to swim?? Did you go there to measure their water? Ah, ah. Per the ballroom dancing, you just don’t worry! We will do it at Thanksgiving. Watch and see.