If you had asked me some years ago what I wanted in a man, I would have said, “Tall, Christian, God-fearing, educated, older than me, good job, people person … and a six-inch long penis.” There was only one thing wrong with my desire for a six-inch long penis: I had never seen one.
I don’t know where I got the idea that six inches was the ideal length of a penis. I had never seen, touched, measured, or had one. But my friends and I spent hours discussing – sometimes with intricate details – why we just had to have six-inch long penises. Yes, Funmie was one of said friends. Neither of us had ever seen what this perfect-number-six penis looked like, but we were sure that it was perfect, and that we would never, ever settle for less. In case you’re wondering, I was about 17 or 18 at the time. Our fascination with the six-inch beauty was an obsession that stemmed from who-knows-what.
It may sound a bit unbelievable that at the age of 17 or 18, I had never seen a penis, but perhaps I had seen one. My cousin, Nachi used to live with us for several years. I was probably between the ages of 9 to 14 or something like that. During that time, I did see his penis, of course, but that doesn’t count for several reasons. (a) I was young and did not really have the natural inclination I have now to immediately dart my eyes to mid-section of a naked man. Walahi it’s reflex — not that I now come across many naked men (b) It’s been so long that I don’t even remember what Nachi’s said penis looked like. I only know he had something dangling in front of him, and I remember that mostly because I know all boys have it. Even if I had never seen it, a part of my brain would think I saw it. Of course, Nachi also did these dances with it, dances he used to entertain me and our house help, Ngozi. I wonder now if that was some level of incest on my part and child pornography and pedophilia on her part, and (c) Nachi is my cousin, and I probably shouldn’t be discussing his penis or the remembrance of it on my blog.
*One brow up*
Several years later, I no longer ask for the six-inch penis. It is my lack of thought for it and my insensitivity toward it that has caused me to tell you all about my once-lived love affair with it. I don’t know when, why or how I forgot about what used to once be one of my major requirements in a man. I guess all good things must really come to an eventual end. Knowing the readers of this blog, I can already predict the questions that you may have: So have you seen a penis now? Was it six inches? Would you accept 5.5 inches? Would you have said no to 7 inches? Have you ever measured a penis?
And to all your questions, I say, I’m sorry, I know nothing of this penis that you speak of. What is a penis? *INSERT BLANK IGBO STARE*
P.S. I have a rather compelling show coming up this Saturday: He Touched Me There. Yes, we will be talking about sexual abuse and molestation. Yes, my co-host was a victim. Yes, she’s African. Oh, you want to know how you can listen?
Date: Saturday, March 19th 2011
Time: 10am U.S. Eastern | 3pm GMT | 3pm Nigerian Time [Please note that it is now 3pm Nigerian Time, no longer 4pm because of the season’s change]
Call in number : 1.646.929.1905
E-mail: radio@verastic.com
Text: 1.443.934.9039
Listen here
ifeanyi okoye says
SIX INCHES LONG IS REALLY INTERESTING.AT LEAST I`LL TRY TO MEASURE MINE TO ACTUALLY KNOW THE LENGHT. VERA U`RE TOO MUCH.
Vera Ezimora says
Ifeanyi, haha @ measuring yours. Well, go ahead and measure all you want. It’s your appendage, and you can do very well do as you please. I’m wishing you a very merry measuring time 😉
El Divine says
Lmao…vera is unbelievable!!
self awareness is good oh. courtesy of some very bad gyelz i used to hang wt, i started keeping track of my lenght since i was 17. i still do…but of course it wouldnt do for it to become public knowledge.
i calleth in on saturday, cos this topic maketh me wonder..africans follow dey molest?
Vera Ezimora says
El Divine, you kept track of your length?!?! :O Wait, you still keep track of it???? It’s still growing?!?!?! *SCREAMS, SHOUTS, RUNS, THEN FAINTS* I thought the darn thing stops growing after a while. Dang, you musta been hanging with some really bad girls oh. 17?? Wait, that’s how old I was too when I was demanding six inches. Okay, never mind. Maybe they’re not so bad after all *GULP* LOL
Per the molestation, no yarn that one outside oo! Africans are just as guilty as non-Africans. The only difference is that our culture makes it seem like (A) It’s not as bad as it seems (B) It’s the fault of the one being molested, and (C) It doesn’t happen at all.
lovelife4sale says
it kind of reminds me of my subtle obsession with girls with DD boobs, yeah i have a natural inclination to big boobs but truthfully, the older i get i realize smaller boobs need love too. haha, plus the sum of body parts of a girl dont make a whole girl.
http://www.lovelife4sale.blogspot.com
Vera Ezimora says
Lovelife, lol @ your subtle obsession with DD boobs. The good news is that you’re not alone. There are many, many, many more men like you. The bad news is that it makes the availability steep for you because every other man is looking for what you’re looking for. LOL @ smaller boobs needing love. It sounds like what you’re really saying is, “Smaller boobs need love …. but I won’t be the one giving it.” 😀
lovelife4sale says
lol… know it means that, im getting mature enough to overlook things such as Big DDs or a Big Ass, rather i evaluate her (the girl im trying to date) on things such as natural chemistry, general attractiveness and how well we work together in Awkward situations
sugarysea says
LMAOOO!
Nachi your cousin would be mortfied if he ever read this
Vera Ezimora says
I know he will! He just might report me to the elders of our town. But then again, he’ll probably be too embarrassed to report me anyway.
Tee says
That said….How long are those vibrators sef…lemme go measure mone…Brb
Vera Ezimora says
Tee, LOL @ measuring the vibrator. I want to say you should come back and tell me how long it is, but I don’t think I want to know.
Nifesimi says
LMAOOO…..you and Funmie sha.
Vera Ezimora says
Nife, obviously, she’s the one that spoiled me die! Before her, I was a good girl ooo…. not that I’m no longer a good girl. I just want the records to reflect that 😉
Ogo says
i’m carrying more than 6 inch under me,but not in use for girls under the age 18 below coz they can’t take it,looolz
Vera Ezimora says
Ogo, I was hoping you’d say it’s because the girls under the age of 18 are underage. Biko, consider that as one of the reasons ooo! That said, you’ve been measuring? :S
AfroSays says
**Drinking water in very rapid gulps in an ineffective attempt delete all the tape rule themed images that just flashed through my mind.
Perfect six inches doesn’t make sense till you decide if you want the six inches when it’s awake or sleeping.
Awake? Seen
Sleeping? No comment… If it wakes up…. mmmm #NoBeMeTalkAm
Vera Ezimora says
AfroSays … hahahaha. Dis boy, you don baje finish! Well, while my friends and I were discussing the six inches, we did not stop to think if we wanted it sleeping or awake. We must have naturally assumed it would be awake. Wait. Wait. Wait. Define “awake” 😀
Anonymous Church Member says
*SMH* QUITE INTERESTING I MUST ADMIT!
Good Blog!
Vera Ezimora says
Anonymous Church Member???? Chei!! This is toh bad oh! 😉 Well, thanks for stopping by anyway. And thanks for the compliment. Much appreciated 🙂
~Sirius~ says
LMAO!!!
Seriously??…Never on my requirement list, in fact it didn’t matter to me (or so I thought)….but Thank God I ended up with a *cough almost cough double cough digit cough*…..
Vera Ezimora says
Sirius!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why na????? Why did you have to come here and give me this kind of detail? Now, I’m thinking nine inches (as per almost double digits). What?!?!?! Isn’t that illegal? That, my dear, is a weapon of mass destruction! Biko, disengage immediately! I don’t want you to get hurt. That said, I don’t know why the heck we thought about it. We were just so … for lack of a better word … stupid.
Siriusly, I wish you hadn’t given me this detail *SIGH* LOL
yinkuslolo says
Seeing as I missed the show. Can we have one for women, i.e at least D-cup or significant hip to waist ratio requirement?
Vera Ezimora says
The show wasn’t about sizes though. It was about sexual molestation. But I will definitely consider this show you have mentioned.
Aribaba says
Vera this is unbecoming of an Umu-Ezeani clam member… all we want for you is 6 inches of…of …..ummm… isnt there anything good that is 6 inches?… Jeez… anyways… please pray for God-fearing man. Size doesn’t matter…even though I wont tell that to myself…lol
Vera Ezimora says
Hahahaha. You sef, you cannot come up with something good that is six inches. Well, what about a ruler? So I can measure and draw my triangles and squares well. LOL @ not telling that to yourself. You don’t say! Anyway, I am no longer looking for six inches.
gabe says
U didn’t mention if six inches is d length of an erect or limp dick but usually, most dicks (maybe black) even out at around 6 in when erect. Thus, a small limp dick will grow longer while a long limp one might increase slightly when stiff. I gave up on d size thing when I found out women give birth through their pussies. A baby is like 10 1ft dicks rolled in one. MEN CAN’T WIN, no matter their size!
Vera Ezimora says
Gabe, I didn’t mention because I didn’t know the answer. The atlas did not mention whether or not it’s erect. And lol at men can’t win. Don’t be such an unbeliever. Lol.
Jan Marie says
It just doesn’t get any
better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her
husband “Captain Kutchie’s” place..Some Folks Also Call Him..”The
KutchMan others call him The Kutchmon!”…Most Just Call Him “The Most
Interesting Man In The World”….(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill)…Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy
Key Lime Pies at their Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill in Asheville.
…It’s always worth the trip to visit them in they’re Historic Key Lime
Pie Factory and Grill…It should be on everyone’s bucket list for
sure..And The World’s Best Key Lime Pies!..YUM-YUM-YUM…..”Talk About
World Class” What An Understatement!…….AAHHHHH!….The Magic Of The
Lovely..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” And Her Delicious Key Lime Pies Baked With
Pure Love…Always……40 Years And They’re Still Going Strong….
….May GOD Continue Blessing “Anita And Kutchie Pelaez” and They’re World
Famous Key Lime Pie Factory And Grill Where The Personalities, Ovens And
Smiles Are Always Warm And Inviting. “Kutcharitaville” You’re The Best We Love You!….
…Now You Know Who Is The Hottest!…And Baby Let Me Tell You, Mrs. Anita Is No Act…She’s The Real Thing Baby!…
….Located Near The Biltmore House And Estate…..
….Who Could Ask For Anything More?…Anita’s Key Lime Pie…(Hell Yes!)
….Just Think, Kutchie’s Goody Goody Cheese Burgers, The Original Cheese Burgers In Paradise!
….That Alone Is Quite A Pretty Big Deal If You Ask Me. It’s A Pretty Big Deal Even If You Don’t Ask Me.