Elijah Adeoye: He’s One Of Us, And He Needs Our Help


Funmie sent me this information. While I have never met Elijah, Funmie knows his personally. Funmie didn't tell me to put up this blog post, and I did not even tell her that I'll be putting up this blog post, so when she sees it, she'll do in usual Funmie fashion and call me to scream on the phone. Those of us who went to school here (or are still going to school here) know that the man called school loan is a beast and a freak of nature. Elijah wants to pursue a master's degree course in Continue Reading

If Missing Malaysian Flight 370 Were Nigerian …


By now, even people who live under a rock must have heard about the Malaysian Flight 370 that literally went missing on its way to Beijing. And the question on every logical person's mind is, which native doctor did they use to make the plane disappear, and what else can he make disappear? Can he disappear pot bellies? Can he make my ex's new flame disappear into thin air - or better yet, turn into a tuber of yam? Can he make my debt just go away? I wonder. I have watched with interest - Continue Reading

Giveaway: N3000 Worth Of Phone Credit [Nigeria ONLY]

Win N3,000 credit from MTN, glo, etisalat, and airtel

Verastic turned 8 on January 26th 2014, and this is the second giveaway in celebration of this milestone. I don't know yet if there will be a third giveaway for this celebration, but I can guarantee that there will generally be more giveaways down the line. My Nigeria-based readers have always supported me, and I have never been able to include you in my giveaways because sponsors are never willing to ship to Nigeria. And who can blame them? Even I am never willing to ship to Nigeria. The Continue Reading

Being Nigerian: The Burial Fund Edition


About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself, and I went with my Supervisor. It was a few hours before the meeting that she told me I would be the one running it. All good. The meeting was going fine until I had to ask the person, "Do you have Continue Reading

Being Nigerian: The Due Date Edition

Baby Bump

Some days ago at work, I was in Elizabeth's office as usual. Elizabeth is my very cool and friendly co-worker. She's Puerto Rican and pregnant, and everyone knows when she's due because the month and date is posted on her door. It's in April. Anyway, while at her office, her unborn baby decided to show us (Lisa and me) his moves. I could see her belly going up and down, and I thought it was so beautiful and glorious - the miracle of a life jumping inside of her. It reminded me of when my aunt Continue Reading

Can We Talk About Dencia’s Whitenicious ‘Dark Spot Remover?’

Dencia Whitenicious

When it comes to skin complexion, we (Nigerians) have an inferiority complex. Yes, I know that Nigerians are not the only ones who have this inferiority complex, and I know that not every Nigerian has it either. But I have not completed my survey on exactly who is or isn't suffering from inferiority complex based on their complexion, so I'm just generalizing here. Dencia just released a product called, Whitenicious, and according to her, its sold out. I don't expect the people who bought Continue Reading

Were You Offended By Basketmouth’s Joke About Rape?


I wasn't. Feel free to insult me in the comment section, but let me land first. First of all, for those who haven't read the joke, here it is (it was posted on his Facebook page):   If I hadn't heard anything about people being offended by this joke, I would have read it and laughed and forgotten about it. But I received some kind of notification on my phone (maybe a BBM broadcast, don't remember now) about Basketmouth being offensive with his joke. So I went searching for this Continue Reading

Attention Nigeria! Here’s How To Get Your Belly Full Without Moving A Muscle

Hello Food

I don’t know about you, but around Christmas I am definitely not up for cookery. Knowing that the time when we will all have to go to the kitchen to cook an enormous meal for everyone is coming, I just want to be lazy and get the strength to get to hit built up. My little secret is pretty simple in the end: I order food online via Hellofood.com.ng. Have you ever tried it? If not you should. It is as simple as it gets. All you have to do is log in, enter your city and area and there are Continue Reading

My Entire Thoughts On Governor Oshiomhole Of Edo State

Governor Oshiomhole and the widow sipping tea. The world is okay again.

Thank God for social media, that's how I'll start this post. Before social media, stories like this went untold, and even if they were told, it was by word of mouth, and by the time you heard, it was only a version of it you heard, and not necessarily the true version. But with media outlets like YouTube, well, seeing is believing. The gist of this post is that Governor Oshiomhole of Edo State told a widow to go and die because she dared to block the road during a sanitation inspection in Continue Reading

Nigerian Boy Sets Record For Longest Sex Ever???

Nigerian boy who allegedly set the record for longest sex in the world

I put a question mark in the title because I have been unable to verify the veracity of this story. Nonetheless, it's interesting, no? It's also not very new from what I have seen. The oldest post on this issue was in July of 2013, but I only just found out about it yesterday, so it's totally new to me. Allegedly, this guy whose name I don't even know is a student at OAU and he holds the record for longest sex ever with 15 hours, 7 minutes, and 23 seconds. Not to worry, he did it with several Continue Reading