Ladies, We Can Now Pee While Standing!

Shewee

You know there are so many inventions out there. Like the sex toy that connects over wi-fi, and the Kelloggs bag that costs $750, and the virginity kit. Now, I've discovered a new one: the Shewee! So what is this Shewee that I speak of?  Well, you know as a woman, you have to squat to pee - when you are not on a toilet - while men, on the other hand, can just whip out their members and aim it where they please.  If you give them your mouth, they will aim it there, too. For centuries, women Continue Reading

Tonto Dike Is Fighting With Her Fans … But That’s Not Why I’m Vexing

Tonto1

Yesterday, a twitter fight broke out between Tonto Dike and her fans. Apparently, she dared to tweet about her new song. Fans (or maybe not fans) were not happy. They criticized her for being an actor who is trying to sing. I'm still stuck on her being referred to as an actor. But a singer, too? Yeah, whatever. Anyway, that is not even the point. The point for me - and consequently the reason why I'm vexing - is that I cannot understand a friggin' tweet. Is it just me? Continue Reading

Holy Cow … It Does Exist!

Presidential Office At Aso Rock

For as far back as I can remember, I have always known that the Nigerian presidential villa is called Aso Rock. Problem is, I have never known anything else about it. What does it look like? What color is it? How big is it? What street is it on? Mba. Nothing. As far as the inside is concerned, I was sure that I'd have an easier time laying an egg. At a point, I started thinking it may not even exist sef. Continue Reading

Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Transgender.

LGBT

Turns out I am one - or possibly many - of these. I am officially in the job market for a nine to five job, and it's not pretty out there! I don't know what's worse: filling out the applications or waiting for a call. This would be a good time to know someone who works in the field and can get me into that HR office right now. Anyway, so there I was filling out a form online again, and I don't even remember from which website I pulled this one out from: Indeed? Monster? Career Builder? Who Continue Reading

Me & Igwe At My Zumba Class = Epic Fail!

Zumba

I've been attending Zumba classes for about a month now while Igwe has been a gym rat. I hate the gym; I've tried twice, and I realize now that it's just not my thing. Igwe has been making fun of my Zumba classes, saying "It's just dancing," so I challenged him to come with me to just one class.   As fate  would have it,  yesterday was Labor Day, so he didn't have to work. My Zumba instructor scheduled Zumba Masterclass (two hours) instead of regular Zumba (one hour). Class Continue Reading

Ladies, When Should You Wash Your Underwears?

Estella

Last week, I put up a post about women’s panties. A research conducted by someone on some women says that women now own an average of 34 panties. Eager to test this theory, I did the only thing I could think of doing: I counted all my panties and took a picture of them. All 41 of them. The comment above is from the panty post, and it was left by Estella. She wanted to know when a woman should wash her panties. I cannot say that I know when a woman should wash her panties. I can only tell Continue Reading

His Name Was Muyiwa – The Conclusion

If you have no idea who Muyiwa is, you should read this short post about him first before reading this one. So, when I wrote about Muyiwa the first time, most of the people that commented were more interested in what happened after the Igbo boy tried to rub my back and I allegedly ran away. Err, it was not alleged o! I did run away. But let me give you the conclusion of the story. Remember I told you that Bianca and I sneaked out of school? Classes were over at 2pm, but we always had to stay Continue Reading

How Many Panties Do You Own?

Panties---Take-1

The title of this post probably doesn't make your eyes widen with excitement, and that's normal, especially if you are a woman. There are really four interesting things about this latest discovery in the women's panties world. 1.  This average of 34 panties is three times what it was in 1999. 2.  58% of women say that big, white knickers are their favorite. My mom and grand mom are the only women I can think of who like white knickers. 3.  Many women have admitted that reading books Continue Reading

Reason Number 9058342 Why I Love America: I Can Join The Force!

Join-The-Force

I've had a broken tail light for a minute, and I've known about it for just as long. But I deliberately refused to fix it. Why should I fix it? I didn't kill it. In my quest to not get pulled over by cops, I adopted the first half of Romney's campaign strategy: deny. deny. deny. [The other half is avoid. avoid. avoid]. But on this fateful day, I just knew I could no longer hide. It was a Saturday morning, and a State Trooper was driving behind me. The only way I could stop him from noticing Continue Reading