Best lifestyle & humor blog. Ever.
What kind of world would we be living in if we did not have toasters that print penises and vaginas on our bread? Sacrilege! The people at Breakfast In Bed have created a toaster that does magic. You put your bread into the toaster and it comes out with a toasted-on penis or vagina. I’m assuming that one slice of bread comes out with the penis, and the other comes out with the vagina. There are even toasters for gay {Read More}
Or that other awkward moment when you wonder why the heck there’s even sperm in a lotion bottle. Crazier things have happened. So, the story goes like this: nineteen year old student, Zeng Lin received a bottle of lotion from her secret admirer – oh, how sweet! She rubbed half the bottle on her face – must have been a tiny bottle – before she realized it had a strange smell. Yup. You guessed it. It was sperm. Her not-so-secret {Read More}
Per second??? Per second????????? Per SECOND????? Are these people mad??? Usain Bolt will earn £10,000 per second when he runs the 200m at the Paris Diamond League meeting in the summer. He will also earn £2o0,000 as he “warms up” for the World Championships in August. Let me put it in perspective for you: £10,000 is about $15,000 which is about N2,250,000. And for the £200,000, it’s about $300,000 and about N45,000,000 (forty-five million naira) Help me, Lord, I’m getting light-headed. Now, permit me {Read More}
During the Oscars on Sunday, a lot of things happened, and a lot of questions were asked. Like, who was the best and worst dressed? Was Seth MacFarlane actually funny? When did Jamie Foxx’s daughter grow up to be so beautiful? How come our First Lady, Michelle Obama is so cool? And the most important question of all: what on earth was going on with Anne Hathaway’s nipples? Anne wore a Prada dress that looked very nice on her – {Read More}
And no, my people, I was not there as a tourist. I was there as Press. The Human and Health Services Department held an event at the White House yesterday to discuss the Affordable Care Act and how it impacts minorities. I collaborated with the Cameroon American Council, but it was my merit that got me there: Verastic. When the e-mail got back to me and asked for my details (full name, date of birth, social security number, etc), I {Read More}
So I joined Keek. For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a new social media platform. It’s essentially the video of Twitter and Instagram. On Instagram, you get to communicate with your peeps, one picture at a time. On Twitter, you do it with words (micro blogging), one hundred and forty characters or less. On Keek, you do it with a video, 36 seconds or less. Like I did with all my other social media accounts, I joined {Read More}
Valentine is coming around the corner again, and I know that men and women – probably men especially – are running all over the place trying to find a gift. Everyone wants to buy the perfect gift for that special someone. Luckily for you, after months and months of extensive research, I now have the answer for you: Now what woman in her right mind wouldn’t want this as a Valentine gift? I think it shows true commitment from the man. {Read More}
Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of watching the Golden Globe Awards. While I enjoy watching almost most awards of this kind, I usually do not get to watch the red carpet. They’re just going to tell me what they are wearing, and since I cannot afford them yet, what does it matter? But this time, I sat in front of my television at 6pm, searched for Channel E, and enjoyed the red carpet. From the red carpet to {Read More}
Dear Mr. President, Why is your nose yellow-er than the rest of your body? This is what keeps me up at night. I need to know. And I’d like to also know what other part of your body, if any, is yellow-er. That is all. For now. No, seriously. Look at this man’s nose. Does the sun not shine on his nose? Does he bleach his nose? Does he take special care of it? Was its top layer of skin {Read More}
Just a quick post before I dash out to go get my hair braided. So, later today, at 4:30 pm Eastern Time, to be precise, my dear Ravens – The Baltimore Ravens – will be playing against the Denver Broncos. It’s a Playoff game, so whoever loses goes home. The game will be held at the Mile High Field in Denver, Colorado. There’s a reason why I’m telling you the location, and I’ll get to it in a bit. This {Read More}
