Let Me Tell You About This Yoruba Girl, Tolu

African Woman - Tolu - Verastic

Firstly, she isn't my neighbor (Kemi is my neighbor). Secondly, I had a mental battle about whether to first tell you about my Oyibo (White, for the non Nigerians) neighbor, Chandler or whether to tell you about my former coworker, Tolu. I chose to tell you about Tolu because I am not done collecting data on my Chandler, and frankly because Tolu's story is much more entertaining. Clearly, I'm only blogging about her today because I have long since stopped working at that job. I don't even Continue Reading

Whose Virgin Mother Is This?


Something is wrong with this picture. Well, technically, there's nothing wrong with the picture. It's the description of the person in the picture. Sometimes, you stay home so much that you don't get the memo about how it's now possible to born pikins and still be a virgin.   When I first read it, I tried to justify it by saying that perhaps, the three children are her adopted children, so she never gave birth and possibly never had sex. But the last part says she's hoping to Continue Reading

If Moses Was American In 2015


Remember I told you that Igwe and I have been reading the bible and I have so much to blog about. We're currently on the book of Numbers, and this book is true to its name. So many numbers. Anyway, I want to talk about Moses today. As you may know, at some point in Moses's life, he killed an Egyptian and Pharoah wanted him dead, so he flew to another country (don't remember the name now). Anyway, while in this other country, God appeared to him in the form of a burning bush and told him to go Continue Reading

Igwe & I Were Bamboozled At The Mall

Deja Vu Skin care products

So the other day, Igwe and I went to the Towson Mall because we had to go to Macy's for me to return a top and buy it back. The top originally cost $50, but I returned it and bought it for $20. Yes to coupons! We could have gone to Macy's in White Marsh, which is a lot closer to us, but we went to Towson because I wanted to stop at H&M to check for a belt. We were at H&M couple days earlier and I had seen this beautiful belt. I picked it up, then I left it at the cashier, but when I got Continue Reading

He Said He Wants To Marry Me

Chiwetel Ejiofor: He's not the one who wants to marry me, but I need a picture to associate with this post ... plus a girl can dream, no?

I was speaking to my mommy yesterday and she told me that an interesting thing happened. I asked her what it was and she told me that a man from Umunze (I think it's in Anambra) came to speak to her. He told her that his very good friend wants to marry me. I didn't hear what my mom said, or maybe I didn't want to believe that I heard what she said, so I kept asking, "He wants to marry who?" I asked her this question four times until  mom was practically screaming, "You!" She repeated, "He wants Continue Reading

Do They Look Alike … Or Am I Tripping?


The other day I was watching television and this Black guy was on it talking about the Ravens game. I did not hear a word he said. As soon as I saw his face, all I thought about was the chocolate M&Ms. She's female, but she's still brown and bald ... and she wears glasses, too. Could they be related? I need to contact M&M's to tell them that I found the brown M&M's brother. Maybe now Geico will insure her? I watch a lot of commercials (and enjoy them). Can you tell? P.S. I Continue Reading

A Sweet Potato Sent Me Pictures Of His Penis

Image source: Huffington Post

Walahi, I cannot make this up. Remember the other day when I blogged about penis length and girth (according to an article on Huffington Post Women)? My last paragraph of the post: To be clear on the point of this post: I don’t know what a penis with a 7 inch girth looks like, and I would appreciate some pictures from our male Sweet Potatoes. For educational purposes only. Of course. I cannot count how many times I have called for pictures like this in a post. Most times, I have not gone ahead Continue Reading

So, According To Jay, I’m Ruining His Relationship

Face Up or Face Down Phone

Remember the post I put up about how to spot a player? It's the post about how a player puts his phone face-down (instead of face-up) like most people. I put it up in April of last year. Dang. I can't believe it's been almost a year since that post. I remember it like it was just a couple of months ago. Anyway, I received a new comment on it yesterday, which was just entertaining. The comment came from Jay, and according to him, my post is ruining his relationship. Here's his Continue Reading

Being Nigerian: The Burial Fund Edition


About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself, and I went with my Supervisor. It was a few hours before the meeting that she told me I would be the one running it. All good. The meeting was going fine until I had to ask the person, "Do you have Continue Reading