That Time My Mommy Became An Importer Exporter

Mercedes Benz

I really just wanted an opportunity to say 'importer exporter' the way my Igbo business men introduce themselves. My mom was not an importer, but she was definitely on her way to becoming an exporter. You must be thinking, that's great! Well, get to the end of this post first. My mom has this thing where she comes up with a new business idea. The problem is that my mommy isn't a great business woman, as she has proven many times. Great medical doctor, yes. Business? No. She has stared many Continue Reading

Breastfeeding Breasts Are The Best Breasts!


Let me start by introducing my breasts. They're not huge, but they're definitely not small either. While we're on the issue of breasts, I might as well be as transparent as ever. I'm a 38D. Let me rephrase that: I was 38D before I got pregnant. I was told by many over zealous mothers (read: Solachi) that once I get pregnant, my breasts would explode. Well, I got pregnant and that didn't really happen. They got bigger, sure, but nothing like what I was expecting. I didn't even notice their Continue Reading

If Balaam Was Nigerian (And His Donkey Talked)

Balaam's donkey

Igwe and I are still reading the bible and trying to know God better. Currently, we're in the first book of Samuel. We have not gone as far as we should have because for a couple of weeks, we slacked. I cannot speak for Igwe, but for me, I wish I was a better child of God. I'm disappointed in how many times I dishonor Him in a day. But for now, let's focus on the humor I find in the bible. I especially love comparing some of these stories to the characters being Nigerian. Today, we're looking at Continue Reading

I’m Not A Doctor, And Daddy Isn’t Over It Yet


Both of my parents are medical doctors, and I am very proud of them. Not only did they go to medical school, but they also did it in a foreign land and in a foreign language (Russia/Russian). I took Microbiology, Chemistry, and Anatomy & Physiology I and II in college and it was no walk in the park --- and it was all in English, although it often felt like Latin. So for my parents, I salute them. Oh, and they both did it on scholarships - something they never fail to remind me. When I was Continue Reading

Who’s Been Stealing Dry Skin Cream From Walmart?


I went to Walmart the other day to buy my lotion (Jergens Shea Butter something ... can't remember the full name) when I noticed that a jar of cream was locked up. It was the Palmer's one. I picked it up and stared at it. I thought it was funny because why would you lock up a jar of cream, and what even made this particular cream so special? That was when I noticed that there were a lot of locked creams. And they all had one thing in common: they were all for dry skin. Which now begs the Continue Reading

Let Me Tell You About This Yoruba Girl, Tolu

African Woman - Tolu - Verastic

Firstly, she isn't my neighbor (Kemi is my neighbor). Secondly, I had a mental battle about whether to first tell you about my Oyibo (White, for the non Nigerians) neighbor, Chandler or whether to tell you about my former coworker, Tolu. I chose to tell you about Tolu because I am not done collecting data on my Chandler, and frankly because Tolu's story is much more entertaining. Clearly, I'm only blogging about her today because I have long since stopped working at that job. I don't even Continue Reading

Whose Virgin Mother Is This?


Something is wrong with this picture. Well, technically, there's nothing wrong with the picture. It's the description of the person in the picture. Sometimes, you stay home so much that you don't get the memo about how it's now possible to born pikins and still be a virgin.   When I first read it, I tried to justify it by saying that perhaps, the three children are her adopted children, so she never gave birth and possibly never had sex. But the last part says she's hoping to Continue Reading

If Moses Was American In 2015


Remember I told you that Igwe and I have been reading the bible and I have so much to blog about. We're currently on the book of Numbers, and this book is true to its name. So many numbers. Anyway, I want to talk about Moses today. As you may know, at some point in Moses's life, he killed an Egyptian and Pharoah wanted him dead, so he flew to another country (don't remember the name now). Anyway, while in this other country, God appeared to him in the form of a burning bush and told him to go Continue Reading

Igwe & I Were Bamboozled At The Mall

Deja Vu Skin care products

So the other day, Igwe and I went to the Towson Mall because we had to go to Macy's for me to return a top and buy it back. The top originally cost $50, but I returned it and bought it for $20. Yes to coupons! We could have gone to Macy's in White Marsh, which is a lot closer to us, but we went to Towson because I wanted to stop at H&M to check for a belt. We were at H&M couple days earlier and I had seen this beautiful belt. I picked it up, then I left it at the cashier, but when I got Continue Reading

He Said He Wants To Marry Me

Chiwetel Ejiofor: He's not the one who wants to marry me, but I need a picture to associate with this post ... plus a girl can dream, no?

I was speaking to my mommy yesterday and she told me that an interesting thing happened. I asked her what it was and she told me that a man from Umunze (I think it's in Anambra) came to speak to her. He told her that his very good friend wants to marry me. I didn't hear what my mom said, or maybe I didn't want to believe that I heard what she said, so I kept asking, "He wants to marry who?" I asked her this question four times until  mom was practically screaming, "You!" She repeated, "He wants Continue Reading