Igwe & I Were Bamboozled At The Mall

Deja Vu Skin care products

So the other day, Igwe and I went to the Towson Mall because we had to go to Macy's for me to return a top and buy it back. The top originally cost $50, but I returned it and bought it for $20. Yes to coupons! We could have gone to Macy's in White Marsh, which is a lot closer to us, but we went to Towson because I wanted to stop at H&M to check for a belt. We were at H&M couple days earlier and I had seen this beautiful belt. I picked it up, then I left it at the cashier, but when I got Continue Reading

He Said He Wants To Marry Me

Chiwetel Ejiofor: He's not the one who wants to marry me, but I need a picture to associate with this post ... plus a girl can dream, no?

I was speaking to my mommy yesterday and she told me that an interesting thing happened. I asked her what it was and she told me that a man from Umunze (I think it's in Anambra) came to speak to her. He told her that his very good friend wants to marry me. I didn't hear what my mom said, or maybe I didn't want to believe that I heard what she said, so I kept asking, "He wants to marry who?" I asked her this question four times until  mom was practically screaming, "You!" She repeated, "He wants Continue Reading

Do They Look Alike … Or Am I Tripping?


The other day I was watching television and this Black guy was on it talking about the Ravens game. I did not hear a word he said. As soon as I saw his face, all I thought about was the chocolate M&Ms. She's female, but she's still brown and bald ... and she wears glasses, too. Could they be related? I need to contact M&M's to tell them that I found the brown M&M's brother. Maybe now Geico will insure her? I watch a lot of commercials (and enjoy them). Can you tell? P.S. I Continue Reading

A Sweet Potato Sent Me Pictures Of His Penis

Image source: Huffington Post

Walahi, I cannot make this up. Remember the other day when I blogged about penis length and girth (according to an article on Huffington Post Women)? My last paragraph of the post: To be clear on the point of this post: I don’t know what a penis with a 7 inch girth looks like, and I would appreciate some pictures from our male Sweet Potatoes. For educational purposes only. Of course. I cannot count how many times I have called for pictures like this in a post. Most times, I have not gone ahead Continue Reading

So, According To Jay, I’m Ruining His Relationship

Face Up or Face Down Phone

Remember the post I put up about how to spot a player? It's the post about how a player puts his phone face-down (instead of face-up) like most people. I put it up in April of last year. Dang. I can't believe it's been almost a year since that post. I remember it like it was just a couple of months ago. Anyway, I received a new comment on it yesterday, which was just entertaining. The comment came from Jay, and according to him, my post is ruining his relationship. Here's his Continue Reading

Being Nigerian: The Burial Fund Edition


About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself, and I went with my Supervisor. It was a few hours before the meeting that she told me I would be the one running it. All good. The meeting was going fine until I had to ask the person, "Do you have Continue Reading

Does Your Man Know He’s Lucky?

Chiwetel, a Nigerian (kind of) who is not the person I'm blogging about today, but who looks good on my blog

Really? This is one line men still use, and I still don't understand why.  Do men say this because they think it works? Or do men say this because it actually works? Dear men, please respond. I met a Nigerian guy at my job. Let's call him Femi. I'm really hoping that Femi isn't his real name because I cannot remember now what he said his name is, but I know it was a common Yoruba name like Femi. Anyway, he had come to the office like 3 times, and every single time he came, he said not more Continue Reading

Women With Big Butts Are Smarter, Study Shows

Image via Annapolis Mic

I have always known that my booty will bring me something good one day (Igwe included). I don't have those very visible and daring curves that men like, but I do have a working booty. And thighs for days. They just won't go away - not that I really want them to. But I have just read the best news ever: women with big butts are smarter. Rejoice, girls! If you are a girl who does not have a big booty (sorry Funmie), then just join the rest of us to rejoice. According to a scientific study (I Continue Reading

Do You Poop At Work?

Image via Amazon

No, seriously, this is a serious question. I'm very weird with my poop: I don't like leaving it in other people's houses. The only place I feel truly comfortable pooping is in my house. Beside the fact that I don't like using public restrooms, there's also the issue of poop being stinky --- although, of course, my poop doesn't stink *straight face* I refuse to poop at work. I can't. I won't. I actually try to poop at night or in the morning because I don't want to do it at work. There is this Continue Reading