This past weekend, I was watching the replay of a webinar about pro-blogging and the TV was on ESPN. I wasn’t really paying attention, but I could not help but notice a video that was on replay. It was a video about a young, Black college footballer named Joe Mixon, and the video showed a White girl hitting him and him hitting her back. His hit was harder and more disruptive. She hit her head on the table, fell down, and seemed to be dizzy when she tried to get back up. So I took my headphones off and listened. And after listening, I went online to read. And after reading, I was angry.
The incident occurred in 2014, and Joe Mixon was a running back for the Oklahoma University Sooners team. In the video, you can see that the girl (Amelia Molitor) first pushed him, and then grabbed his neck. His punched her once, and she fell and apparently fractured four bones in her face. The university suspended him for the entire season of 2014, and he was charged with a misdemeanor. He has since publicly apologized for his behavior and is back to playing for the team.
So why is this an issue again if it happened in 2014 and he’s already been punished for it? Because apparently, the Oklahoma Association of Broadcasters sued for it to be released. The deadline for the release is December 26th, but Joe Mixon asked his lawyers to release it before the deadline. By the way, Amelia’s family initially did not want the video to be released because they said it wouldn’t tell the whole story. Although he has apologized, he alleged that Amelia Molitor spat on him, pushed him, and hurled racial insults at him, but she has denied it. She has a pending civil lawsuit against him. Joe Mixon is eligible for the 2017 NFL draft.
Now, let’s talk about women hitting men. Ideally, in a perfect world, the first thing we would want is for nobody to hit anybody. The second best thing we would want is for a man to walk away when a woman hits him. But since we do not live in a perfect world, people do hit people, and sometimes, men (and people in general) do not walk away.
As a woman and as a mother (to a girl), I will teach my daughter, Ada Verastic to never, ever lift a finger to hit someone – man or woman. When you get physical with someone, when you violate a person’s space in such an intrusive way, you do not get to decide how they react to your act. You do not get to decide what kind of retaliation is too much or just right.
The world, in its attempt to protect women, has gone way left. Teaching men to not hit women is only half of the story. We should teach our daughters to not hit men either. There is no manual with set parameters of what is an acceptable revenge hit. A shove can be retaliated with a punch, and a punch can be retaliated with a knockout. It all depends on the person on the receiving end of the initial strike.
We have women walking around and feeling self-entitled because they have a vagina between their legs. You should never hit a woman is a story for the gods, and only half the story. While you teach your sons to never hit a woman, you have to also teach your daughters to never hit a man either.
For now, I only have a daughter, but when her confusingly identical twin brothers are conceived and born, I will teach my sons to never hit a woman, but if they come home and tell me that a woman hit them and they hit her back, I will not punish them. I don’t want any man or woman hitting my daughter, and I don’t want that for my sons either. Everyone needs to learn to keep their hands to themselves or face the consequences of doing otherwise.
One of my favorite Nigerian proverbs says that when the mouse laughs at the cat, it is because there is a hole nearby. So when a woman decides to hit a man, she better be strong enough to either run or fight him. The mouse who laughs at the cat and does not have a nearby hole to jump into will surely meet his gods on that day.
So, to women all over the world, hit wisely.
P.S. Even Frank Underwood from House of Cards said you do not start a war you know you are going to lose.