We Need Your Prayers. Urgently.

Just a quick post before I dash out to go get my hair braided. So, later today, at 4:30 pm Eastern Time, to be precise, my dear Ravens – The Baltimore Ravens – will be playing against the Denver Broncos. It’s a Playoff game, so whoever loses goes home. The game will be held at the Mile High Field in Denver, Colorado. There’s a reason why I’m telling you the location, and I’ll get to it in a bit. This game has three major significance:

1.  It’s a playoff. Whoever loses goes home. I don’t want my Ravens to go home.

2.  It’s Ray Lewis’ last season in the NFL. If they lose, that’s it for him, too. I don’t want his last game to be a losing game. He’s number 52. Watch out for him.

3.  We’re playing against the Denver Broncos = We are playing against Peyton Manning = This is like eating boiling pepper soup in hell = Yeap, Peyton is a beast on the field.

Ray Lewis, my secret baby daddy

 
That said, here are the prayer points I want you to repeat. In fact, as you reading this post right now, it counts as praying. Just shout at the top of your lungs, and that would make it classic.

1. Father, I pray, that Peyton will throw the ball to the Ravens

2.  Father, I pray, that the Ravens will intercept all the Broncos’ plays

3.  Father, I pray, that Ray Lewis will even tackle the quarterback – Peyton Manning

4.  Father, I pray, that a mysterious wave of sleep and fatigue will take over the Broncos

5.  Father, I pray, that all the Ravens players will look like Broncos players to Peyton Manning

6.  Father, I pray, that the Ravens will move with the speed of Superman

7.  Father, I pray, that every Broncos fan at the field (and they will be a lot) will have their mouths muted and therefore unable to cheer the Broncos on.

8.  Father, I pray, that the Broncos will fumble the ball more times than they can count.

9.  Father, I pray, that when Peyton throws the ball to the Broncos, it will miraculously change its path and fall in the hands of the Ravens instead.

10.  Father, I pray, that since this field is one mile above sea level – and will therefore make it that much harder to take oxygen in – that the Broncos will struggle to get enough oxygen, but they won’t, and this will make them even more tired. I did not say you should harm them oh! Just make them very tired.

11.  Father, I pray, that the cheerleaders will distract the Broncos players and instead of chasing the ball, they will chase a different set of balls – the ones on the cheerleaders chests.

12.  Father, I pray, that the Broncos will hallucinate and chase the air, thinking they are chasing the ball.

13.  Father, I pray, that you answer all OUR prayers. Where two or more are gathered, there you are in their midst. And we are definitely more than two saying this prayer right now.

….. And we all said, AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, here’s a short clip (less than 30 seconds) of Ray Lewis doing his famous victory dance.

 

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Comments

  1. Dalu says

    Vera u’d hv to bribe me to make all of that prayer oooo. Abeg, let d best team win, my home team already lost to d Texans so yea, im hating :)

    Thought Tebow was with d Broncos? Or no? It is well nne, let’s see hw it goes….

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