A year ago, I put up a post about the top 12 reasons why Igbos and Yorubas should not marry. One year later, the post is still getting comments from all kinds of people. Some people get the sarcasm, some people laugh, some other get angry, and some people just give me whatever insult they think is appropriate. Read and enjoy. Original post (and entertaining comments) here.
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Whether you are aware of it or not, many inter-tribal relationships have died an untimely death because of the tribal differences between the couple. Parents, elders, and friends have rained down fire and brimstone to see to it that this sacrilegious union does not get to the altar. The strong couples come out of it beaten, bruised, but alive nonetheless. The weaker ones — well, they inspire me to write this.
The most popular union seems to be the one between the Igbos and the Yorubas. With this in mind, I have compiled a list, specially for everyone who is currently in such a relationship. If you have been pressured into breaking up because of tribal differences and you have no idea why you should – or if you should, then I am here to help you make that decision. Please read, digest, and understand the lists below.
Reasons Igbos Should NOT Marry Yorubas:
1. They’re dirty.
2. All they know how to do is party.
3. They eat too much oil.
4. Their women flirt/sleep around too much.
5. Their men will ALWAYS cheat with a Yoruba woman.
6. They are loud and obnoxious. You can hear them from a mile away.
7. They are wild. They are the real “Akata” people.
8. They are Nigeria’s problem.
9. They don’t understand the Igbo culture.
10. They do too much juju.
11. They betrayed the Igbos during the Biafran war.
12. And to top the list, they are not Igbo.
Reasons Yorubas Should NOT Marry Igbos:
1. They’re rude; they have no respect.
2. All they know how to do is chase money.
3. Their pounded yam is as hard as stone.
4. They don’t put enough oil and spice in their food.
5. Their in-laws are wicked! The husband’s family will always maltreat the woman.
6. They cannot speak Yoruba, and even if they can, they do not know our culture.
7. They will sell their brother for money.
8. They won’t let us play our fuji music at home.
9. They’re Nigeria’s problem. They keep trying to divide us.
10. When their women die, their bodies have to be returned to Igbo Land to be buried.
11. They eat human beings.
12. And the mother of all crimes, they are not Yoruba.
Top 12 Reasons You Should NOT Consider Before Getting Married
1. He/she does not appreciate you.
2. He/she has a turbulent past and a shaky present.
3. He/she can never be faithful to you. And you know this.
4. You have nothing in common, except your tribe, of course.
5. Your dreams, values, and aspirations couldn’t be further apart from each other – even if you stretched them thin.
6. He/she just doesn’t get you.
7. He/she knows how to bring out the worst in you.
8. You cannot quite place your finger on it, but you know that something isn’t right with this relationship.
9. You know that you know that you know that you cannot count on him/her to be there when you need him/her.
10. He/she has no ambition whatsoever.
11. Even with a gun to your head, you cannot vouch for him/her.
12. And the least of all, he/she has done nothing to imply that he/she might be remotely in love with you.
Bonus reason: he/she continuously picks his/her friends and family over you.
If you find yourself confused by the tone of this list, go back to the beginning and read it again till the end. And just like the tributes in The Hunger Games, may the odds be ever in your favor.
Alternatively, you can find a partner who is Chinese-Iraqi, born in India, and fluent in Portuguese and Italian. There is no list for that. Yet.
I married a Nigerian and what a wicked man his mother as well he cheated on me,lied, deceived, robbed me then when I left he tried to juju me But vengenance is mine said the lord.I have to say the lord fought for me his mother died just when she went to go do a terrible work for me.Would you believe that on her death bed she begged them to call me but she was to week so they never did. I have helped that useless dirty family so much I know God will continue to fight this battle because its not over yet.
Wow. Adaomuguno, I’m really sorry about your experience in your marriage. I wish you better luck next time.
He now lives with a woman from Benin and all I can say is he is useless. Can you believe he moved into her apartment and is now living off her. I have never heard of such.I always thought a man was suppose to take care of his woman.I thank God for my life everyday cause they could of finished me. They can continue to juju each other.Blood of Jesus covers my family and self be careful of useless Nigerian men and I thank that Benin woman for saving me from my yoruba husband.GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!
Awwwwww. Adamuguno, I am really sorry about your experience! I promise you, they are not all bad. There are good and bad people in every tribe/nationality/race. Good luck in your next marriage.
adaomuguno, you need to find closure, you sound like your still angry and i hope u are not stalking him, ur words sounds like you are. Find closure in God.
Meme, she’s probably still hurt and consequently, angry. I hope she finds peace.
I can’t marry a yoruba man
Really? Awwww. But why though? I’m curious.
I am Yoruba and I love my Igbo girls. I can’t say anything bad about Yoruba girls because I only dated one and she was a good friend. I dated three Igbo girls so far and I can tell you that I appreciated my time with these girls. I think love is the most important item and not race or culture when it comes to who you date.
I am totally on your side. It really is always about love. When we let our tribes/languages/race come between our love, then maybe it really isn’t love. Goodluck to you! 😉
The joke of this post never fails to light up my day….well I would love to find myself some Hausa guy…intertribal relationship is hard work sha oh.
I think intertribal relationships are hard because we make them so. I’m in an intertribal relationship, and believe me when I say that tribe doesn’t come between us at all. Like it isn’t an issue at all. I know only one Hausa guy (he’s from Plateau State).
True talk Vera, and best of all, you re talking from ezperience 🙂
My people, your people, our people gwuru m ike. Sometimes this one Nigeria sounds like a mirage.
There are only two kinds of people. Good people. Bad people. nothing more. nothing less. Shine your eyes.
Ginger Gbam!!! Meanwhile Verastic nwannem, why you still de stoke this fire hmmmmmm??
Izzie, what will I do, if not stoke the fire? That is my main job nah. Lol.
Gbam!!!!!!! Oya collect hand shake osiso
Lol you’re looking for extra trouble. But hey, you’re in one sef so is this experience? No? Okay, sorry 🙂
Jokes apart though, I’ve heard good and bad stories about inter-tribal relationship but I still don’t want to marry a Yoruba man; I have my eyes on Igbo, Delta, etc. pple 🙂
Loool.
Ms. Dawari, I’ve heard that Igbo men take good care of their wives. Obviously, I wouldn’t know that from personal experience. I, too, have heard good and bad things about intertribal relationships/marriages. I have come to conclude that bad marriages/relationships are simply due to ill fitted mates, not their tribes. My Igboness and Igwe’s Yorubaness does not in anyway affect our relationship. It’s a non issue.
These reasons, i don’t know whether its supposed to be a joke or what? Its funny on one hand, its true but totally offensive, i understand why the igbos or the yorubas will get angry to the point where you get the loads of insults… Every tribe do know their flaws and that of their fellow tribe’s, they don’t need a reminder. However it will be useful for the ignorant ones who don’t know a thing or two about their cultures
I’m absolutely confused about how to respond to this, so I’m just going to say thanks for reading.
This is out of curiosity, are (were) you married to a Yoruba man? To me, article like this is part of reasons Africa can never move forward, not in our life time. I’m not condemning, you have entitlement to your opinion. It just struck me that with your level of education or exposure, tribalism still has a strong view over your opinion.
To me, however, a comment like this is part of the proof that the education system in Nigeria is a whopping failure.
wow sarcasm is truly lost on a lot of people. nGWA Vera, you’ve gone and done it oooo…
HIO HIO HIO HIO
it is.indeed…sarcasm lost on folks. I cant laugh!
Ginger, it’s a tragedy. What are we to do?
I don’t know how else to do it oh, nne. But it makes it even more entertaining. Oh, well.
Nne how very dare you?..lol Am shocked yoruba pple are not screaming on your head over this. However you dared to tell the truth that many merely mutter. I married a Yoruba guy father of my 3 kids and he nearly ticked all the boxes on your list. I divorced him after 6 yrs rather happily. Did I mention that he’s a crap father. Love your blog:-)
I am an AA married to an Igbo. My mother in-law was an angel from heaven, bless her soul. My brother in- laws and wives are wicked to me and each other, so I don’t take it personal. I have Igbo married friends so I see that it happens to them even if they are from the same town. My husband of 13 years is a very wonderful man he treats me like a Queen and he is an incredible father. I love Nigeria and look forward to moving home final one day.
Another point I want to make is that Igbo women have to lighten up. South West and South South women are nice. Even I feel more comfortable with Hausa women then Igbo women. Igbo women please explain to me why you act in such a rude and unwelcoming manner. Why are you only nice when you want to get something out of someone. Thank you.
Mrs. Okonkwo, I’m really sorry about your experience. It’s imperative to know that not everyone (Igbo or not) acts this way. You unfortunately met the bad ones. The best part of your story is that you and your husband are still married and doing great. That’s wonderful. Don’t let anyone come between you two.
Why dont you do 15 comments why you should not marry a benin city man.
I know this is a sarcastic take on the issue of intertribal marriage, but the reasons seem to be harder against the yorubas, like saying their women are flirtatious in marriage. I have been exposed well enough to know that none of the two tribes are saints in that regard. However, I know you just played on the prejudices the two ethnic groups have against each other. It was fun to read and I get from it that love and compatibility rather than ethnicity should be the rule.