The Thing About Being On Keek (According To Igwe)

My empty Keek

My empty Keek

So I joined Keek. For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a new social media platform. It’s essentially the video of Twitter and Instagram. On Instagram, you get to communicate with your peeps, one picture at a time. On Twitter, you do it with words (micro blogging), one hundred and forty characters or less. On Keek, you do it with a video, 36 seconds or less.

Like I did with all my other social media accounts, I joined Keek and I have no idea when I will actually use Keek. When I told Igwe what it was about, he said Keek was not a good idea because it will cause too many problems. Naturally, I thought he was being ridiculous. You know men. When are they ever right anyway?

So he decided to do some research. We watched a bunch of Keek videos, all Nigerians. I don’t even know how we were getting to them. From one person to the other, we watched their videos. We were up till 1am because we were watching Keek videos. And let me not lie to you, we laughed at Every. Single. One.

I mean, people whose tweets you sometimes read on Twitter were on Keek talking, and they dropped our jaws. We were just shocked! Like, wait, that’s how they talk???? And then, naturally, there were those were speaking some kind of fone. Most times the fone/accents sounded something like a cross between American, British, Australian, South African, Nigerian, and Kenyan accents. I kid you not.

But I think that the most entertaining ones were the ones that were doing some heart-stopping gbagauns. I mean!!! You know when there’s a gbagaun on Twitter, it can be argued that the person was just typing too fast – and we all do it. But when it’s done on Keek – and said over and over and OVER – that becomes a moot point. This particular chic said, “H’ayam so peez’d hoff.” Translation: I am so pissed off. Aaaahhhh!! How you gon’ come on Keek talm’bout you’re peez’d? Whatchu smokin, girl?!

There were so many videos that had no head or tail. We didn’t know where it started, why it started, where it was going, or why it was going there. You know the way a person tweets something random that no one else can understand or really, really relate to? Like “Oh, my goodness, this woman in front of me should just shift!” No one on Twitter – unless they are in the same location with the Tweeter – knows what the heck the person is talking about.

Well, it’s just like that on Keek, except that it’s a thousand times worse. You can see the person and hear the person. So now, you end up judging more than the person’s very stupid words. You judge their look, their tone, their beauty – or lack of it, their accent, the background, their clothes, their hair … etc.

I have to concur with Igwe on this one, ladies and gentlemen, before you Keek, please think. Hey, that totally rhymed! Don’t take this post to mean that I will never Keek oh, and don’t take this to mean that you should over think all your Keeks. No, no, not at all. But err, you can afford to think small.

Igwe’s Predictions Of Things That Will Happen Because Of Keek’

1.  Women’s bride price will go down because men will know that the swag in their tweets does not prepare you for the razzness in their Keeks

2.  Women will stop crushing on certain men because they will discover that they are dumber than their tweets. And that ain’t right.

3.  People will get unfollowed on Twitter because their followers will get pissed off when they discover that the beloved person they follow on Twitter talks out of their ass.

4.  Fights will break out on Twitter (That’s already happening. We witnessed some).

5.  There will be Too. Much. Information leaked on Keek. Just like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Happy Keeking, Y’ll!

 

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Comments

  1. says

    Lol yes o. Keek is causing serious wahala, making my people look like idiots.

    I wanted to comment on one of your points that it will disillusion people from their crushes. And you couldnt be more right. Dont think it’s specifically a keek thing (but keek will surely aid it) but before I came on social media ie twitter, even the censors board did not have enough paper to monitor all the celebrities i was in love with. But now? After seeing their foolishness on twitter. I can count on one hand how many I still manage to LIKE

    • says

      Nolly, I agree. It’s not just a Keek thing, but Keek will definitely help. Imagine if the person was like a quiet and mostly sensible person on Twitter, and then they come on Keek and misyarn? LOL.

  2. says

    lmao….this has got to be the funniest thing i have read this month. Igwe is very right. I think i will just join Keek just to amuse myself.

  3. Benny Bing says

    I ABSOLUTELY AGREE!! Well written. Igwe you took all the thoughts out of my head. I will still post my videos, mostly gym stuff from now on (LOL), because I have no groom price.

    • says

      Benny, so in other words, you will torment us with your muscles? Well, you can look forward to my food on Instagram, then. You know the drill anyway. LOL @ not having a groom price.

  4. says

    One of my friends joined and I got an invitation, that was how I discovered it, and then NoRe talked about kims visit less than keek video and I understood what it was about. I think I’m done with SM for now sha :)

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