About The Man Who Nailed His Balls To A Cobblestone

I was going to blog about this Russian man who nailed his balls to a cobblestone yesterday [I read the story on Sunday night], but I knew that I had to embed an ad in the post, and I concluded that advertisers probably don’t want their content next to balls nailed to a cobblestone. So the Adele post happened instead. By the way, I woke up this morning still thinking about what I would do with £12 million that Adele turned down. Mmmm!

But let me tell you about Pyotr Pavlensky, a 29 year old artist in Russia who not only went nude on the streets, but also nailed his balls to a cobblestone. As a fellow sane person, you must be wondering why? Well, according to Daily Mail, he did it “in protest against the Kremlin’s crackdown on political rights.” Also, he said in a statement that “he was trying to draw attention to Russian society’s development into a ‘police state.” Apparently, this was not even his first time doing something so drastic to send a message. In 2011, he sewed his lips together to show that he was not in support of the jailing of two female members of the Pussy Riot punk band.

So, here’s what I’m thinking:

1.  When I first read the headline, I thought WTF???

2.  After reading the story, I wondered, but how would nailing your balls to a cobblestone stop Russia from becoming a police state? Abi wetin consign lizard with pubic hair? [I totally made this lizard thing up just right now, but lizards really don’t have pubic hair — or any kind of hair]

3.  While I haven’t been to Russia in a very long time (and I barely remember my life there), I think it’s safe to say that Russia isn’t exactly known for not being a police state. Russia???

4.  He nailed it to a cobblestone though? Getting through cobblestone isn’t for the faint at heart. I don’t even like walking in heels on a cobblestone.

5.  Any band called Pussy Riot should probably be probed, at the very least. No?

In conclusion, if you are going to nail your balls to a cobblestone and have all your goodies out for the world to see, the least you can do is have a big penis. Or make the penis hard before nailing the balls to cobblestone. My initial thought when I first saw the video: My, what little penis he has. Having a small penis … now that’s worth demonstrating against. Maybe this time, he’ll set it on fire.

DISCLAIMER: No penises were hurt in the typing of this post. The same cannot be said for balls.

Source: Daily Mail