Every now and then, I like to blog about the key words that people search for on search engines, the keywords that ultimately lead them to Verastic.com It’d be incredibly unVerastic if I were to blog about the regular words. Who needs those? The absurd ones make my day any day. Enjoy.
1. Turai Yar’Adua
I’m not sure what bothers me most: the fact that the search for Turai leads people to my blog, or the fact that Turai Yar’Adua is the fourth leading search. I think it’s the latter. And this is all because of that flattering post about her
You think I should tell the searcher that www does not come before this or any e-mail address? Yeah, maybe later.
3. Oral sex in the bible.
Oh, honey, been there, done that — searched for it, that is. This may be hard to believe, but nowhere in the bible do the words oral sex appear. Go figure! But maybe my post on oral sex will help, no?
4. “I found out he’s married” “green card”
Now, can you ask him if he’d like to be a co-host on the Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio Show? You (or he) can read about the talk show, and the show in question is number 11.
5. Angelina Jolie stay away from my man
*Gasp* Oh, my goodness!!! Vanessa Pardis, is this you? You found my blog! How is Johnny Depp? Wait, did you read the post I put up about you
6. Ask boyfriend for facebook password to prove trust.
Sweetheart, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but passwords and trust are almost mutually exclusive. Besides, he could be like me. I have several e-mail accounts — which, of course, only implies that I love e-mails J
7. Aso Rock boyfriend of Turia Yar’Adua
Turai has a boyfriend at Aso Rock?! I knew it! Now, it’s all starting to make sense.
8. Boyfriend used to date my friend.
We had a show on this one. Go listen.
9. Boyfriend won’t give me his Facebook password.
Please refer back to number 6 above. And when you’re done, ask Ray what he thinks about passwords.
10. Breasts that reach for the sky.
Only a man would search for this.
11. Does Tonto Dike use Makari?
12. Get perkier breasts
It’s your lucky day! I know the secret.
13. How to rededicate my life to Christ.
More often than not, people start with a bible-believing church.
14. I love my fat wife
Good for you!!
15. I want a fatter wife
Please refer to number 14 above.
16. If your boyfriend doesn’t call you in a day and doesn’t send a text, does he love you?
Heck, if I know!
17. My friend is technically engaged
You’re technically a bridesmaid.
18. My push up bra will get my man
What kind of push up bra is that, and where can I get one?
19. Sniff menstruation pads
Before or after they’ve been menstruated on?
20. Verastic Nigerian blogger.
Finally! Someone looks for me JJJ
That’s all, folks! Out of 536 search words – thanks to Google Analytics – I managed to pull 20 out.
P.S. The show goes live in less than 10 hours (at 10am U.S EST and 3pm Nigerian time). I’ll be co-hosting with Diamond, NaijaBloke, and Kola [Baroka] Tubosun, and we’ll be talking about how to, if you will, tell your friend that his/her spouse-to-be is a monster. Listen here. Call in: 1.646.929.1905 <<>> Text your response(s): 1.443.934.9039 <<>> E-mail your response(s): email@example.com
P.P.S. The Verastic Facebook Fan Page is still lonely. Join, please?
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