I read this on Facebook a few minutes ago. Then after I read it on one person’s page, it kept coming up in my feed. So I googled it, and here we are.
This is the story of Maria Okoh, a 70-year-old widow and resident of Amaudo Nkpoghoro village, in Afikpo North Local Government Area in Ebonyi State, Nigeria. The story is that Mrs. Okoh was caught having sex by her grand-daughter who had stopped by to drop off some food. Mrs. Okoh was having sex with her 30-year-old lover. Her grand-daughter blew the whistle and the villagers gathered to chant a slew of dirty words against Mrs Okoh and her lover while they were paraded for everyone to see. She was banished from her village and will have to pay a fine of 3 goats in order to be forgiven.
According to the laws of the land, Mrs. Okoh’s major crime isn’t that she’s having sex, or that she’s having sex with a 30-year-old man, but that she’s having sex with a man who isn’t her husband — on the bed that belonged to the husband. The dead husband. Because we all know that dead people need their beds and should even be buried with them.
I don’t even have to ask before I know that this law only applies to widows, not to widowers. Because men are generally encouraged to chase and conquer every vagina that crosses their path, so when a man becomes a widower, he is especially free to go forth and conquer. He’s free to do it on the bed he once shared with his wife, and if he so desires, he can probably do it on his mother-in-law’s bed, too. When discovered, the elders would frown at it, and then, it would be judged as one of those things men do because men will be men.
The fact that a 70-year-old woman in Nigeria is still having sex should be commended. We should put this information on our official website. The fact that a 70-year-old woman is having sex with a man who is allegedly half her age is a thing that’s marvelous in my eyes.
Now, while we may laugh a little at the thought of being caught having sex, the truth is that this is no laughing matter. Who are the elders to an elderly woman? Who are these people that get to decide what she can and cannot do on her own bed?
As I have told Igwe times without number, as long as we (Nigerians/Africans) continue to be like this, the oyibo people will continue to dominate us. We will continue depending on oyibo people and we will continue needing validation from them. There is no reason why in 2017, an old widow is ridiculed for doing something as natural as having sex with a fellow human being. And even if she was having sex with a goat, whose business is it? Unless it’s your goat, please let the woman be.
We say that the white man brought his religion to us, and we say that we were forced to accept this religion. Yet, we have taken the religion and outdone the people who started it. This woman is probably being punished because they believe it is unrighteous and immoral for a woman to have sex like this. God forbid a woman should have sex for pleasure (instead of just for procreation), and God forbid she enjoy that sex, and God forbid she does it while she’s 70 — with a man half her age because it’s only for the man to enjoy. How can a country that still does human rituals dare to frown at a woman for having sex?
If I call upon thunder to strike that grand-daughter down, would I be going too far? I don’t ever want to see my grandma having sex, but if I ever do, I wouldn’t do anything to humiliate her and/or put her in harm’s way. She who has this grand-daughter as a grand-daughter has no grand-daughter.
By the way, this is one of those instances where we are reminded of the gross gender equality in Nigeria. But if we talk too much now, one so-called Olori will come and publicly embarrass our entire nation by saying that gender equality is the leading cause of divorce. Olori, I am still mad at you for coming to America to talk that kind of nonsense.
IMPORTANT: Does anyone know how to reach out to Mrs. Okoh?
P.S. The elders should just admit that goat meat is hungrying them and stop trying to use this woman.
P.P.S. That’s a 30-year-old man? Beesh, where?