I mean, what is the FIRST thing that attracts you to a man? I completely believe that the first thing you know/notice about a person is what he or she looks like. Just by looking at this person, you know already if you like what you see or not. Does he have nice eyes? Do you love the way he smiles? Maybe his complexion? Or his hair? These are all things that I believe you’d notice – and possibly like – about a man first.
But it’s the opposite for me. My friend, Uju and I have had this conversation several times. Uju is first and foremost all about the looks (which I think is perfectly normal). Uju has to be physically attracted to you first before anything else can happen. By her own admission, she is vain. I don’t really think that she’s vain. I think she’s normal. In my own case, however, it starts with the mind. Basically, I have to talk to the guy first before I know if I am attracted to him or not. Even when I was younger and used to have crushes on boys, none of my crushes was based on looks. It was always something like, he’s funny, or he’s smart … etc.
The problem with liking a person’s mind first is that months into the relationship – if there ever is one – I realize, he’s really not fine. I have only been attracted to two men. One of them is now a very good friend of mine (and we never, ever dated), and the other one is Igwe. Every other person has just been okay, with the exception of one person that made my skin crawl – not the good kind. I’ll tell you about him another day.
The first thing I see, or maybe I should say, the first thing I pay attention to is really a man’s mind. I think it’s the most attractive thing ever. I want to know how he reasons, what he believes, and why he believes them. Because I am a blogger, you have no idea the kinds of conversations I have had with people and the kinds of assumptions people make about me because I blog. So yes, I want to know how a man’s mind works, and if he has a brain in his head — or if it has been replaced with butter.
I have heard many, many times that men are visual, and that they make their decisions based on what they see. So when a man walks up to a woman, it’s because she is pleasing to his eyes, not because she’s intelligent. Even if she’s someone in the public eye – example Beyoncé – his attraction to her isn’t because he knows she’s smart, but because she’s beautiful. If you are about to make fun of me for saying that Beyoncé is smart, don’t worry, you won’t be the first one. Some people feel like Beyoncé isn’t a smart woman, that she’s good at singing and nothing else. Well, I don’t know her, but I quite disagree. The woman is a millionaire. In my books, she’s doing something right, and it takes an intelligent person to do that. But I digress.
I want to know, what do you like first in a man? His chiseled jaw? His white teeth? His firm buttocks? His big hands? His big feet? His sparkly eyes? His smile? His height? His lips? What?
P.S. I used Michael Ealy’s picture because this man has a beautiful set of eyes. I could stare at them for days.